Me and this guy of 9 years are in a relationship. Recently, another guy has been helping me get on a local department. Well my boyfriend was EXTREMELY paranoid, questioning everything, almost ruined my chances. He had the right to be paranoid but there was nothing going on.
This weekend the paranoid stopped, and he started TRYING to talk me into going with this guy. He said he didn't care about it anymore and that he wanted to know so he could move on. He stopped calling me as much, acts weird, and doesn't seem into me anymore. But just last week he was firing questions and paranoid, constantly worried, saying how happy he was and he was paranoid, he admitted it.
Now it stopped, randomly. What does this mean??? Any girls or guys with any advice.. what I should do? How did he go from paranoid, loving me, etc to not "caring" at all and saying he's "over it" and will move on if anything did/does happen?
2007-02-07 16:44:44 · 15 answers · asked by jessica c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would think that he did something stupid because he was thinking something was going on with you and this other guy. You have done nothing wrong so don't chase him. If he doesn't call or come around then move one, if he does then try to find out if he cheated. I couple of boyfriends I had did almost the same thing to me and both times it was because they had cheated on me.
2007-02-07 16:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by HereIAm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys feel threatened any time you might be more sucessful than they are. If you are trying to get a new job it may having nothing to do with the guy and everything to do with he is jealous of your success. You might make more money than him or have a better job so he freaks out and looks for another excuse to be angry. My husband and I started a business together three years into it he had to take several months off work and I was "the boss" when he left I guess he expected everything to go poorly but the oposite happened the business became more successful. He started acting like a jerk to me because of his jealousy. He got over it when he realized I was paying his medical bills and supporting our family when he could not. I think it all boils down to ego.
2007-02-08 00:55:57 · answer #2 · answered by Lily 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people will say that you should assuage a person with fears of infidelity. Try to make them understand that you haven't done anything wrong. But there's a point where you have to stop doing that because some just won't believe you. And its THEIR problem, not yours.
He changed his tune becuase he is "fed up" mentally with the exhaustion of the paranoia, that he created of course, and is "letting you go" so to speak, so that you can be "with the one you really want." It stems from serious insecurity and jealousy. He has issues from his past I would guess. I don't think its something you want to deal with. He'll go nuts every time you smile at a clerk at the market. Forget that.
Find someone with less drama.
2007-02-08 00:56:50 · answer #3 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be wondering why he is acting like this, usually this behavior goes on because they did something wrong and they are thinking you are to. guilt.
I would be looking into him a little more.
Who cares if he doesn't call anymore. Don't chase this guy, sounds like he's up to something anyway.
Remember: Everything happens for a reason.
2007-02-08 01:50:56 · answer #4 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to become emotionally detached because he thinks the relationship is ending. You can either reassure him and try to make it work or you can end it. I think you should try to talk to him though. Guys are just as scared of being hurt as girls are.
2007-02-08 00:50:36 · answer #5 · answered by Loki's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems to me that he's still very much bothered by the other guy and just can't find the right way for him to deal with his jealousy. that's why he's acting weird and all. try sitting down and talking with him. you can reassure him of your love for him and help him alleviate his fears of losing you. bear with him and remind him that you are happy with him and that you would never replace him with any other man.
2007-02-08 00:50:26 · answer #6 · answered by Bubuchachum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe he is just trying to trust you. He loves you so much that he finally talked himself into believing that you really love him unless you were really feeling this other guy and this is why you are asking questions about your guy.
2007-02-08 01:15:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anastacia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He already believes you have slept with him. It's a defense machanism. It's over in his mind, he feels that any answer you give him will be contradictory to what he already believes to be true. He's trying to give you an out
2007-02-08 00:50:49 · answer #8 · answered by ZEROCOOL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think hes decided that you have a new guy. It sounds like hes hurt. If you are doing something with the other guy then its time to come clean.If not then you might have to end this new friend ship to keep your feller feeling like he is the only one. Thats something you will have to decide.
2007-02-08 00:49:52 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat19582002 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
9 years in a relationship and he still acts like that? he is just worried he might loose you that's all ....
2007-02-08 00:54:39 · answer #10 · answered by majal_lu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋