Been happily married 16 yrs but when me and husband fight which is RARE he will scream,yell,slam doors and hit walls BUT he has never hit me and says he never will..Sometimes when we fight he will throw something of his and if it breaks he will say.Thanks a lot i liked that to.
2007-02-07 16:26:16 · 8 answers · asked by gina l 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Its like he is blaming me for something he broke.
2007-02-07 16:30:18 · update #1
Well jilreh doesnt make me feel guilty cause its not my fault that he breaks something of his...and i say to him u didnt not me so dont blame me.
2007-02-07 16:51:29 · update #2
Well millie he has NEVER call me any bad names and never has hit me other then this he is a good man and a great husband.
2007-02-07 16:57:00 · update #3
Hey Sweets!
I'm glad I'm reading RARE in these statements
I would say....it's all three...not so much emotional but he's playing your emotions... by trying ot make you feel guilty for making him so mad he had to break something he liked. Everyone makes there own decisions and must live with the consquences...you by no means are responsible for his actions or 'destructative behavior" He's acting like a child with the door slamming etc and hitting the walls... like a toddlers tyrant. Suggest to him, that he try to communicate his anger in a diff. form. Suggestions....hmmm, here's the tough part, I don't know you so I only gonna tell ya what I would do with my husband. I woudl call him out on his actions, I would say, you do relaized that your acting like a small child, when you act this way, Slamming doors, hitting walls, etc isn't that what toddlers who get there toy taken away do. Perhaps, that will click with him and say hmmm, wow my actions are childish...next I would say, point blank to him. I do not feel guilty when you break something of yours in your fit of rage, I think it's your own fault, you could throw toliet paper and get the same emotional effect. Express to him, he's harming himself when he's angry not you. Try to sit down with him and work out the troubles...tell him, it is unacceptable that he treats you in that way, it's not healthy for him physcially either. Turn it into an I care about you session too. Don't act phased by his fits of rage...of course if he ever hits you....please do yourself a favor and leave... I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years and one day I said...I'm done, I'm better then this and I walked out the door. You could also try some reverse physc on him and throw something of his down, not something breakable and step on it or throw it. Say to him how does that make you feel. and then do that with something of yours...(not breakable) like a shirt or shoe something. If your happily married, then he needs to understand how u feel and how to help the trouble. All couples no matter how happy go thru these stages and you both will for the next 30+ years. Good Luck!! xo's
2007-02-07 16:43:28 · answer #1 · answered by a a a a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am truly sorry for you. He may have a high blood pressure. Have he been going to the doctor ? If he is my husband I will not fight with him what ever the issue is,I will talk to him in a calmly manner that won't trigger his anger.For me fighting with a man verbally and physically, yelling,calling names is class less, and stupid. As a decent person, I will talk to my husband,like I talk to my co worker,boss, friend ,nieghbor.. as a person. I've never experience that kind a show down from a man or any body that I know off.
2007-02-08 00:55:06 · answer #2 · answered by Vannili 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People think it's stupid to go into counseling for everything, but counseling just teaches stuff we need to know and people skills that we all need and someone has to learn them or or we're dying here. Even if it doesn't get worse it sours things where no one cares and that is not fun. Life should be fun. You get what you pay for and sometimes the price is time and to care or it keeps coming down through the generations, thousands of years and adds up to the mess we got. Knowledge is kind of the evolution of the brain. We're either a drag or part of the solution, don't you think?
2007-02-08 00:48:19 · answer #3 · answered by hb12 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has anger control problems. He does not know how to control his anger. If he doesnt call you names, and does not hurt you, you are not being abused. But he shows violent ways. Maybe he needs to realize he needs anger management classes.
2007-02-08 01:07:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appear a kind of emotional blackmail, to make u succumb to his will or way of thinking or whatever he wants.
2007-02-08 00:32:21 · answer #5 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check this website: http://pw2.netcom.com/~arrowblu/abuse.html
It should be helpful and it came from this website which has more links:
http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/links.html
2007-02-08 00:43:07 · answer #6 · answered by RedPower Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely. it's about proving he's in control although he's showing a "lack" of control.
2007-02-08 00:34:07 · answer #7 · answered by Carla S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure sounds like it to me.
2007-02-08 00:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by elizabeth v 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋