My so called affair with Mr. Married! Confirmation?

Question

They are actually undergoing Divorce with wife and he is actually living with me now eversince! Wife actually forced him to marry him last year and just after a few months, he left her to be with me! The wife actually used him because of his wealth. He was the one who came after me. So many times, I've actually convinced him to go back to wife and try and settle things out, but he refuses and said that he's not happy with her, but he has found new diamension of life with me. His family doesn't like her either! She checks on his personal staff, checks on him, and they seem to fight alot! The wife can't have children, quite sad! And he had actually said things like really wanting to be with me and start a family together! I've tried my best to convince him to leave because i feel that this whole thing is wrong and i really felt for the wife! I'm quite lost as to what to do next! Should i Leave him, because I tried forcing him to he just doesn't want to. Should I just keep him? Confirmatn

Answer 1

Looks like you got him now

Answer 2

If all of what he has said to you is true, then keep him because he really wants you. He made a mistake marrying her and now he sees it was a mistake. Still, no one forced this man to marry his wife...unless she put a gun to his head, he went through with it willingly. So he does need to take responsibility for his part in that relationship. However, he's over her, it sounds like. He didn't make promises to you and lead you on...he actually moved out and is in the process of getting a divorce. Those are actions that mean something, not just empty words. You have done the right thing by telling him to try with her, go back to her, etc., and your compassion for his wife shows your good heart. But he doesn't want her, so now decide if you want him, and if so, you are both lucky to have found each other and that's that. I would have liked to see him be on his own until the divorce was final, however, as he hasn't really had that "alone time" to feel his feelings and really sort through them. That's the one thing that worries me. It's been so easy for him to rebound from one woman to the next, that he hasn't felt grief or sadness or processed through what he's been going through at all. You really have to evaluate your relationship with this man not just from the perspective that he wants you, but do you want him too and are you two really compatible and genuinely happy together.

Answer 3

First and foremost all the 3 of you are adults there is no such thing as force or dont force, you are not at a knife point or a revolver on your forehead to make that decision, Your life is yours nobody can control it unless with your consent. Therefore please ask him to settle one issue follow by another instead of complicating the matter by add-on another one issue when the other is not resolve this will cause 3 of you to be very stressed out and misery. If he felt so strongly that he have no good ending with his wife then divorce her and prepare to live with that decision to divorce with no regrets later. Then he can come clean into another relationship with you which will then be able to focus on this relationship to make it happier and healthier.

Answer 4

Nobody forces another person to marry him/her. I'm sorry but I just don't believe that. What did she do? Hold a gun to his head?! This man sounds confused. You need to sever ties until the divorce is final if it's really in process at all. I think the separation would clear your mind & allow your heart a chance to figure out what is really best for you. It would probably also show you a little more clearly this man's "true colors." How he reacts to that separation should show you very clearly if he's in this for the long haul or if he just wants you "on the side."

Answer 5

They are MARRIED until a court of law says they are not. "Undergoing" a divorce is like saying you are "almost" pregnant. Either you are or you are not. Tell him to leave, take care of leaving his wife the right way by completing the divorce and tell him to stay away from you for 6 months - 1 year's time. By then he will know if you are a comfortable escape or you are something he really wants. Anything less will always have you wondering what's he doing since you know his routine for handling adversity is to avoid it and run to others.

If you date him sooner than 6 months- 1 year's time then there is not enough time for him to figure out who he is before he becomes emeshed in another relationship. If he cannot be happy with himself then how on earth would you expect him to be happy with you?

What you hear him telling you about his wife is part truth and part fabrication to justify his actions OR the things he complains about were caused as a reaction to HIS behavior. It is common for the one who is injecting chaos in a relationship looking at the reaction of their spouse due to his chaos and say "see what she does?" If he can't explain away why things are not working out with her then the deck of cards your so-called relationship is based on would fall apart. In any event his actions cannot be desirable to any woman except for the despirate and I can see by how you phrased your thoughts that you are trying to convince yourself of something you already do not truely believe.

Answer 6

You are just trying to console yourself to make you feel better that you are not a marriage wrecker. You are acting like an "angel" but you are not. You started the affair with a married man and you want him as much as he does. You have him now but be careful, he could be cheating on you with another girl years from now. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I am so sorry for the wife.

Answer 7

First of all, you have to be careful when men saying I'm in the middle of a divorce. Sometimes that is just a line.

Second, no one can force anyone to marry them. Even if she had been pregnant he would have had to agree to marrying her.

Third, It sounds like you have realized this whole thing was a big mistake. I would kick him to the curb and move on.

I am curious as to why you don't want to be with him anymore? If you could give more detail on that it would be appreciated.

Answer 8

However she may be or not be,...whatever she does that's awful doesn't matter and it's not your place to try and force him to go back to her because you shouldn't be thinking of what these other two people are doing. Have you ever heard of coaches telling their team, "play your own game." This translates to life. Do what YOU should be doing, what is right, what is best for your life, REGARDLESS of what others are doing. Is it best for you to have a married man in and out of your life and be on a continual emotional roller coaster? I think not. Don't wait around for this guy to pull his head out of his a*s. You're wasting time you could be putting into developing yourself and your life. Act,...don't react.

Answer 9

she forced hiim to marry her?

she can have kids so she couldn't have forced him with pregnancy

i fail to understand how she could have forced him to marry her

what i think happened is that he married her because he wanted to marry her and then he found you and that is what is causing the fights at home and thats why she keeps checking up on him because she knows the little cheater is out running around on her, that sounds liek a more plausible and logical explanation

well, you picked up the stray cheater, now i guess you have to keep him, especially since he doesn't want to leave, just hope that he doesn't cheat on you the same way

Answer 10

Sounds like you already have him. Just make sure that hes really what you want.Men can sometimes be like buying a used car. Got to wonder why he was traded in and there are always 2 sides to a story. Best of Luck

Answer 11

I say tell him that you need to be apart for three months or so, so he can think about the fact that he let himself get forced into marriage, and then didn't even try to stick with it.