please help me and give me your hints, it is painful to be alone looked at weird person?

Question

why people look at me as a weird person if I do not open up to them alot, why they make me feel inferior to them, I am being affected by that, they know that it hurts to be alone, no one want to work with me, or let me work with them. why now they are punishing me by putting boundaries and just hard it looks embarrassing for my friend who actually want to talk to others but they are not talking to her because of me,, they don't like me because I focus on my education.
but I always been helpful when they ask me, and been used, it's not human to treat one hard worker in class and who always contribute to help others when they can, why I have to be used like that, why I am treated inferiorly even if I had a low self-esteem when I was a child and being treated as inferior to others, I was shy and don't talk, not being encouraged. now I am doing child care to understand the reasons why I am like that. because I wasn't given the chance to play with other children when my mom say no, I can'

Answer 1

Hey Summer O I read a few of your posts and I empathize with you. I am a bit of an outcast too. I don't have all of the answers but I wanted to let you know you are not alone. Sometimes people are afraid of people the perceive as different, smarter, forward thinking or just plain quiet. Congratulations on completing a new phase in your life. When you start a new job really reach out to people. Tell a joke, talk about a current tv show or movie to show people you are not all that different form them. Last of all if all else fails at least get their respect. I did that in college and at my new company and now I am moving up very fast in a new company. I was straining for anything to converse with my new District manager and I spoke about a movie I like. He likes it too, I let him in on some movies by the same director and now we talk movies every time he comes in and he sees the hard work I do and my results. I am getting a promotion and a transfer and folks in my location are realizing Im a pretty good guy. Getting the respect of others will build your esteem and self confidence and this will make social interactions easier. Hope this helps. I have a degree in Psychology BTW.

oh yeah smile often and make eye contact with people too....

Answer 2

You say they are using you? You are being helpful?
You are the only person who can stop this.
First: if they are not willing to work with you, don't show your enthusiasm to do so. They don't want it? Fine! You can do great without them. The more you show you need them, the more they'll keep away.
Second: You have a friend. Isn't that awesome? That means you have an ally. You have someone to talk and work with. If they don't talk to her, don't feel guilty for it. It was her choice to take your side. May be because she could see that they are wrong? it will be hard for her, but I hope she'll manage it. Just one advise here - stay in good relations with your friend, but be ready that she may break down under the pressure of the others. If that ever happens (I hope it won't) don't blame her or treat her like a traitor. She is doing her best now.
Third: STOP letting people use you. They need you to do something and you are willing to help? Fine. And they see it, too, they are not stupid. They'll use it as long as they have it. I have two advises here: First, continue helping, BUT make sure you get something in return. Don't be shy to ask "what will I receive in return?" or "What will I get if I do this?" Be ready for a mean reply. They will not accept easily the fact that you can protect yourself. Don't get lost if you hear the mean reply. Second: Learn to say NO! if you hear the mean reply, you may say "I'll think about doing it when you ask nicely!" or "try another time, when you get a better mood." If what they ask you to do is totally not your job, and you are not getting anything in return, just refue. You can always say that you have a lot of things to do. But be careful, if you refuse to do something that really is your job, then you'd have to do it. Just make sure that you are not dong their job for them.
One thing - if they see that you are respecting yourself, they will respect you.

Answer 3

Until we realize and accept how insignificant and lonely our journey through life truly is, we will not learn how to find the significance and combat the loneliness from within. There's a listless amount of reasons to be afraid, and feel the world is a terrible place to be, but there are a few reasons to be encouraged, and feel that the world is a wonderful place.

When you stop caring so much about how the world views you and more about how you view the world, I believe you will find the peace of mind you're seeking. Don't give in, and always ask yourself how you can make each social exchange a win/win situation.

As a side note, I find that people who have trouble with social situations or are self-described "wierd people", are often not approaching social situations correctly. A social exchange shouldn't be viewed as "how can I win this person over", but should be viewed as "What do each of us have to gain through cooperation?"

The problem might be that the people around you see nothing to gain by being your friend because they don't take their education quite as seriously as you do. Also, I suspect you might be reading into the situation too much. I highly doubt all people you come in contact with look at you as a "wierd person", but I don't doubt that some people do. Unfortunately, this is a fact of life we must all deal with. There's always going to be a few individuals who might find us a little wierd. That keeps life interesting though.

I hope what I've written helps, even a little. :-)

Answer 4

man you got real issues dude what did your parents do to you