What can I do to reduce homophobic comments in my high school?

Question

I hear a ton of very offensive comments every day, and I really want to put a stop to it but I do not have the guts to do it. I am afraid that if I ask people to stop, they will just say it more and louder. I've already approached the administration and teachers about this and they won't do anything... it is in my hands. But I am afraid to do anything for fear of making it worse, and also I do not want people to steal my stuff or anything. What can I do? I mean I would ask people to stop if I were talking with them but nobody I talk with says such things.

Would it be dumb/mean/out of line for me to just jump into a conversation when someone shouts "That's so gay!" or calls someone a f*g or a d*ke? I mean it really hurts my feelings, and makes me very angry. I wonder if I might lose my temper or start crying in front of them, which wouldn't help. And I can't go to my school's GSA because the principal won't allow one to exist. I feel like I am the only one who cares.

Help me!

Part of the problem, I think, is that it is a Catholic high school so it is not bound by law to do anything, and a lot of people there are uber-religious... that is, they believe that it is a sin to be gay.

Answer 1

The first thing I want to ask you is whther there is a "school reosurce officer" in your school. The reason is because SRO's are cops and they, by law, HAVE to report any bullying that goes on, unlike a teacher. they get into huge trouble if they don't.

As far as the administration not doing anything about the abuse your're suffering (an let's not mince words, it is abuse), this is an issue that I would take up with your local school board. If you happen to have a GLBT group in your area, get them to support you as well as your family and friends. The more allies you have, the better. Also I would contact GLSEN, or the Gay and Lesbian Straight Education Network regarding the fact that your school won't allow a GSA. Not only is it most likely aginst the school's code, it's also illegal. They, and possibly the Lambda Legal Defense Fund, will help you and give you advice on how to fight for your right and everyones else's right to have a safe space in schools.

Lastly, it is not only NOT out of line for you to stand up agaist homophobic slurs, it is your right as a student and as a human being. If no one does anything to help, keep standing up for your self. If as all fails, you can call your local TV station or newspaper. The bad press your school would receive will get changes made right quick!

Answer 2

I completely understand what you're going through. When I was in high school, this was a big problem for me, too. That was 10 years ago. I can only imagine that it's gotten worse.

OK, so I know this sucks and probably is not what you want to hear, but here goes. If you start making a big deal about this with the other kids, you will VERY QUICKLY become the subject of bullying and harrassment. Some people are very eager to take out their hatred and aggression on the nearest, most available target, and high school kids are no exception. In fact, they are more likely to get physical with you. I can't reccommend this enough- don't do anything unless you notice that someone is getting harrassed. If it's all just a bunch of idiots constantly saying "this is gay, so and so is gay", etc. leave it alone. If someone is being targeted by these kids, you should speak up to anyone who will listen until the problem is adressed. Otherwise, lead by example, don't stoop toi their level, and just stay away from those idiots. Once you're out of high school, things improve a lot.

Good luck.

Answer 3

To answer the question "would it be dumb/mean/out of line for me to just jump into a conversation when someone" says something hurtful? - The answer is no it's not dumb. They may not like it but it is your right to feel safe and they have no right to talk in predjudice or hateful ways. If you are strong enough to do this then great! The more educated you are about LGBT issues and rights the better off you will be when responding to other's comments. So one way to reduce other's comments is to become educated yourself and then do as you said and speak up when someone says/does something wrong.

Another thing - You mentioned that the admin. wouldn't do anything. Look into the school's mission statement it should say something about no discrimination based on race, sex, etc... There should be something in the mission statement that also says no discrimination based on gender or sexual orientation. If not that is a place to start with the admin. Try to get them to add it to their mission statement, once they do that they have to act on it. This is a movement people are starting all across the U.S.
If you do some more searching you may be able to find information on it.

Another thing you may be able to do is talk to a local organization, usually at a local college/university, they are usually labeled LGBT something.

Hope this helps!

Answer 4

Two things:
1. Do you feel threatened by these people? have they made threats against you or any other gay person? The law states that every child is entitled to a free public education in a safe environment.

2. Making derogatory comments about someone's sexuality or calling them those lovely names that a lot of people like to use about us is sexual harrassment. If the school insists on not doing anything about it and it can be documented, you can take the legal route. It may not go anywhere, but it would get their attention. If you or your parents know an attorney that might could contact the admin with a nice little phone call, that might be enough to scare them into action.

Answer 5

I really wish I had a helpful answer for you. I know if I did I would be able to rid the world of a lot of pain. Your school is just a small section of a very hurtful and sick world. I don't want to tell you that it's useless to try. I wish you well but, It's a problem much larger than your school. As a matter of facts if enough people read this question you will find some jerks like that answer you with rude comments. Good luck luv.

Answer 6

I really wish I had a clear cut answer that would immediately solve your problem, but I don't. I think one approach would be to send in an anonymous editorial to your school newspaper, or even your local newspaper. Get the word out that these problems exist, and you'll get a dialogue started. Others will agree, and maybe someone in power will see it your way as well. I would cite statistics and facts regarding bullying and discrimination. Even if you only make one person think twice before making fun of homosexuals or saying homophobic statements you've still made a difference...

good luck!

Answer 7

Send ME there to kick some @ss. I came out in high school and I had to whupass a couple of jocks (of course - they are always the idiots), and they sure didn't expect THAT to happen. I can't believe there are still people here who are dumb enough to think being gay is a choice. Don't worry - there's lots of us who have enough brains to know that you are entitled to be who you are and you deserve to be treated with respect. Using insults, offensive or violent words at people is not all about freedom of speech - those things provoke chaos and discord, and it breeds hatred, fear and ignorance. People don't have to like gays, but they should have enough sense to not create conflict by abusing freedom of speech.

Answer 8

Some people clearly demonstrate their ignorance by the words they use. Let them. I personally do not believe in limiting free speech, nor do I believe that we should be politically correct just to avoid offending someone. Where do you draw the line?

Answer 9

You can't. Sounds like you never heard of freedom of speech. Where did you get the idea that gays have superior rights and can tell others what they can't say? Why does it insult you when someone calls you what you choose to be?

Answer 10

Become Straight! Dont let it bother you so much. There is always someone who'll say or do something mean regardless of who you are. Saying something like 'thats so gay' isn't a hateful comment, just an expression. Come up with a good comeback or become heterosexual.