When I first hooked up with guy it was from lust, I married him. 5 years, still married. Doesn't share anything I do, or stimulate me intelligently. Never did. Doesn't share anything. Only wants sex. Still same. Haven't slept in same bed or had much sex (no interest) since our wedding. Work online. Now I find I'm attracted to co-worker and thinking it might be lust as well.
I'm so confused. I care for my husband, I'm comfortable and safe (he doesn't hit me), but I'm not happy. Financially I could support myself but it would be tight. Then am I gonna get into another situation like this, or how do I avoid it.
All he does is lay around all day cause he on disability for brain injury. He won't help with anything even though he's capable.
Someone please help with some advice. I just don't know what to do anymore.
taelyra1
2007-02-07 15:46:05 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why did you marry someone you didnt love? If you don't have any kids..divorce him. Not because he "doesn't intertest you" but because YOU made a bad choice. You aren't doing anything to improve your sex life so its your fault for not getting any.
either you start showing intertest in him, or jsut get a divorce and learn from this. You marry because you are in LOVE not lust...
2007-02-07 15:59:10 · answer #1 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to take a break from BOTH of them & figure out just who you are. You seem to feel that you need a man in your life to make you complete. Once you realize you can survive without them your head will be more clear & your heart will be more ready to decide what to do. It's obvious that your marriage didn't start under the best of circumstances but what makes you think that cashing out & going for another one of the same kinds of relationships is going to give you any more fulfillment? Oh sure it will be exciting at first because it's new, but as you've seen, that wears off. Then...what's left? Lust is very powerful but it's very deceptive & it can lead you down a dark & lonely highway. There's a reason it's called SIN. There is pleasure in it...but here's the catch....for a season. Once that season passes you are just as lonely & miserable as before. To use an old saying here, "two wrongs don't make a right." By going for this other guy & knowing that it's also based on lust that should be a big heads up that it's not the right choice...unless you just like to keep learning the same hard lessons over & over again.
2007-02-08 00:17:51 · answer #2 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you married for the wrong reasons here. But you chose to marry him so you are going to have to make the best of it. You both need marriage counseling and help here. Stick with your vows and work on this marriage for better or for worse. Avod this by working on your marriage and learning how to love your husband the way that you should. Do not get involved with this co worker it is not worth it... Trust me it will only open you up to more pain and aggravation in your life.
http://www.drphil.com
2007-02-08 00:08:38 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a woman who has been married twice. I moved in with my first husband from my Dads, and was already with my second minus sex when I booted my first, he moved right in. When I booted him I was already with my current boyfriend after a long time of zero physical contact and a loveless existance (4 years I slept on the couch for over a year by choice) My current boyfriend does not live with me but is here whenever he can be which isnt a whole lot with 2 full time jobs and a bad marriage with a psycho and 3 kids...his hands are tied right now or he would be living with me. BUT one thing I reallized is that from Home, leaving on my 18th birthday, my first marriage, my second marriage, and my boyfriend now of 2 years....I have NEVER been alone, never "dated" I have been with 4 men...my HS sweetheart who I still talk too and was with from 13 to 18, met my first husband was with him for 6 years and am on my 9th year with my soon to be ex husband, and in 1 month 2 years with my boyfriend. I am on my own with 3 kids for the most part but I still have a man. My advice is to get out because you can, dont be "safe" but unhappy...thats no way to live...but give yourself the chance to be independant and figure out who you are, and what you want before you fall back into unconciously being who they want you to be and want to make them happy...you need to know what makes you happy first before you can really make someone else happy. If it doesnt work out with my man now I will not get involved again until I get ahold of me.
2007-02-08 00:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by Kujo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him then try and work with him. If he has a brain injury then how do you think he feels that may be the cvause of lack of motivation. Start spending quality time together and sleeping in same bed and not just for sex. I f that does not work then you may have to move on to find happiness.
2007-02-07 23:55:20 · answer #5 · answered by Closed Down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not in love and your not happy then why stay?
Maybe you are missing out on true love being in a loveless relationship.
You will never know if you stay. If you go then what do got to lose?
2007-02-08 02:02:10 · answer #6 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling before you hurt 1 of them.
2007-02-07 23:53:19 · answer #7 · answered by DESTINY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counselling. If you decide to leave your husband, you'll need counselling anyways before you get involved with anyone else.
2007-02-07 23:53:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you even get married in the first place?
people do stupid things
2007-02-08 00:16:33 · answer #9 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a divorce if your not happy
2007-02-11 14:12:55 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋