my wife has a friend/co-worker whom she gets up an hour early every day to work out with, works 9 hours with, then comes home(she really wants to go out dancing and have drinks with her, shes just now trying to break the habit), and we get a couple hours before bed...so on so forth...we get one day off to do stuff every week. but she HAS to have at LEAST one day a week (which i think is too often to have girls night out) to hang with her friend...she tells me "see ya later" on a sunday night, and completely disappears until 4:30am, i get upset, no yelling, never violent, but i just dont feel like i am getting top priority here, this kind of stuff happens often, even on days we happen to get off together she will totally ditch me and go hang out with her buddies.
this stuff gets me upset, so she calls me controlling and has recently requested separation...we havent spoken in a week.
does she have a problem, or am i just a jerk for wanting to do things with my wife?
please help...
2007-02-07 15:37:59 · 8 answers · asked by dentlydreamin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think, personally that anne hit it right in the head with #3...what do i do?
2007-02-07 15:50:24 · update #1
oh, her friend is female, a single mother, and loves to go clubbin...it sounds kinda jealous but i think shes the whole prob...but my wife is still responsible for he self. been together for 8 years, married for one. this behavior is relatively new, primarily since she made this friend..
2007-02-07 15:54:03 · update #2
we have talked about it calmly many times...
2007-02-07 15:55:15 · update #3
You are not being a jerk at all in this case... It is a good thing you want to do things with your wife and spend time with her. There should be more husbands like you in this world. She has a problem with putting her friend above you and this marriage. See if she is willing to meet you halfway on this at all. Try alternating Sunday nights with her. you get time with your wife every other Sunday and the other ones she can go with her friend. This is fair to both of you. I also think that you both should seek marriage counseling too if at all possible. Why dont you go out with them some night and see what happens . Maybe you should start hanging out with the guys:) Your wife does not know how good she has it.
http://www.drphil.com
2007-02-07 15:57:36 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight.. SHE has a friend, they work out , work , go out once a wk., talk all the time, ditches husband for this friend, and still she maintanes YOU are the problem ? Does that just about sum it up ? Hmm, let me think here... WRONG !! IF what you say is true, then SHE has a problem I think YOU need to look into !!!!!! There are 4 things here that come to mind....
1. she is cheating with another man
2. she is cheating with this other woman
3. she wants the best of both worlds, married but freedom to do as she pleases...
4. you are not telling the whole story...
Which is it ??????
God bless
2007-02-07 15:47:18 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are being controlling or jealous but I do believe you are in denial, if your wife doesn't want to spend time with you there is something wrong in your relationship, I could see if she was just hanging out with her friend every once in a while but all the time and until 4:30 in the morning there's definitely something going on. I hope that you can either work things out or move on. either way I wish you the best of luck.
2007-02-07 15:47:01 · answer #3 · answered by Ray- Ray 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My wife hangs out with the girls every now and then. I try and take a night when I hang out with the guys. Every now and then I go out with the girls too. Try and take the time to get to now her friend. Good luck if you start enjoying yourself and don't sit at home waiting for her maybe she will catch the hint.
2007-02-07 16:36:08 · answer #4 · answered by rjsr40 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You typically see this behavoir from men who still want to hang out with their buddies and the wife gets p o-ed. Sounds like your wife is having a great time with her friend...is she single or married? That would make a real big deal to me. Tell the wife to either act like a married woman or beat it and go hang with her friend. Sooner or later she will realize that going to bars and single activities suck when you get older. btw, you are not controllng, just looking for your wife to grow up.
2007-02-07 15:48:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check this board - you'll see 100 posts like this from wives complaining about their husbands ignoring them. I'll tell you the same thing I tell them. Talk to her about it, calmly and seriously at the kitchen table. Wait 2 weeks. If no change, do it again. Wait 2 weeks. If no change, let her hear you calling about apartments for rent or talking with your brother to see if you can crash with him. Then pack boxes. She might get the point then. Drastic times call for drastic measures! Good luck.
2007-02-07 15:50:02 · answer #6 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you are jealous. You are just wanting to spend time with your wife. That is important in any relationship. Try to sit down and explain your feelings to her.
2007-02-07 15:43:34 · answer #7 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weird, it is usually the other way around. But, I would send her packing.
2007-02-07 15:44:51 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋