what is a good way to deal with my mom's passing. I miss my mom and feel like I can not go on. please advice.

Question

My mother just passed away on he Jan 23rd, of Cancer. I just lost my best friend and I do not know how to get through this. My mom was my best friend and biggest fan. I am just lost and now that all of that she is burried and the funeral is over I feel like just giving up on life. I have two older brothers and 3 sisters. I older sister hates my guts but pretends like she loves me. When I know and my mom told me she doesn't. The rest of my family is two-faced and I do not want to deal with them. What would you do in my situation.

Answer 1

My heart aches for you more than you know. My Mom died when I was 10. I went through puberty and all that comes with that without her. I went through some really hard times but I did survive. It has been 42 years since she died, but I can tell you the one thing that helped me through. I kept thinking "What would Mom want me to do?" or " How would Mom feel about this?" or "What would Mom think of me if I did this?" Honey, you know your Mom loves you still and you want to make her proud, don't you? Then live your life with all the energy and excitement that you can manage. Fight for your goals until you reach them.. do it for your Mom.. and do it for yourself. It is a horrible and painful thing to be without your Mom.. you and I BOTH know that.. but we are never truly without her.. My Mom is with me always.. she is in my heart.. and she lives in each of my children.. and now my grandchildren. I looked at my children as they were growing and couldn't help but think how happy Mom would have been to be their grandmother. She is now a great-grandmother 7 times over.. and she would have loved it. I have spent time talking to older family members and her friends over the years so that I could 'know' her better. And when all else is aside.. start a journal.. write to her. You know she will understand and love you unconditionally.. Good luck to you and remember that you are never alone.. all of us are one family..

Answer 2

Damn girl. Disassociate. From your family. I had to do that in the same situation. The only difference was is that my mom didn't dy. She abandoned me. She hated me for reasons I will never understand. And still does. If you have any family left that loves you stay with whoever it is. If not find a job if old enough and support yourself. It is hard but you can do if you have to. Talk to a counselor at school. He or she will help you. Good luck and please keep me posted. I wish you the best. I am 43 now with kids of my own. And I have to say I did good by all in my life. That is all I could hope for. Post script . I am sorry she had to leave you. I know she would never have left you. But know this. She still lives on in you. She is and always will be with you. Hugs.

Answer 3

My mom died May 7, 1981 a few weeks shy of my high school graduation.
You will never be able to replace the void, but over time the pain of the loss gets diluted.
You will have to concentrate on the good times that you were allowed with her and see that any thing could have happened to shorten the time you had, but you did get that time although you wish it could have been more-it could have been less.
Stop being negative about your siblings because it does not help o.k.

Read one of my poems o.k:

"Happy Birthday/Goodbye"

Dorthy, Gracie, Bert, Bobbie, and Livie
Five of my nine sisters celebrated me turning 40

This was an occasion they may not have wanted to witness
After all this 40 year old happens to be the baby sis

I grew up in a large family with so much love shared
We may have been poor growing up but nobody cared

My sister Stine was strong, dedicated, and birthed eight babies
I looked up to her and saw her as a real Christian lady

She passed her tradition of love on to my nephews and nieces
When she died the family stuck by each other instead of going to pieces

When Gracie died a few months after Stine it shocked us all
We had to keep our faith though and know that it was Gods call

She was so intelligent and always giving of herself to help others
At least in her last years of life she found great joy as a grandmother

My 47 year old brother Raymond died the following year
Dropping like flies we thought who is next was our fear

This was a heavy burden and our souls did sink
He has two beautiful daughters and of them we must think

If things were to go according to plan
I have one of the largest burdens that can be put on a man

My parents are dead and I have one brother and seven sisters left
I would see them all buried and celebrate my last birthday by myself

God is a good God and things do not always happen as they should
Thank goodness He is who He is and what ever He chooses is for good

I have learned to accept His will and not to ask why
And celebrate each birthday as a gift from God because it could be
Happy birthday/goodbye

July 7, 2006 by Arene
copyrighted

Answer 4

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom's death. Losing a close family member is one of the hardest of life's situations to deal with. Try to occupy yourself the best you can, maybe some voluteer work at a hospital or nursing home. You might help yourself as well as someone else. Don't give up. Your mom wouldn't want you to give up would she? Hang tough, even though it is very difficult, and after a little more time has passed it might become a bit easier to cope with. remember the good times you had with your mom, and talk to friends that knew her and remember her with them. If you're a religious person, you might want to talk to your clergy about your feelings. And if you want to talk to me...I'll be around here. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

all people deal with things different then others . But the way I did it and I was only 17 at the time of my dad dieing and this the way I handed it was to remember the pain that they were in when they were alive . would you want for your mom to continue on living like that ? Or to now that they are in a better place and they have no pain and they are watching over us . I some times lay in my bed and talk to my dad like he was still here If you want you can e-mail me if you want some one to talk to I will be open and tell you the truth thank you

Answer 6

Go do something in her memory. Bike ride across america for cancer or raise money for cancer research. use one of your talents to do this. This will not only keep your mom's memory alive it will give you time to reflect and time away from your family. Also I would reccomend rescuing an animal. Like a cat or dog or a bunny. it helps and will make you smile more again.

Answer 7

i'm so srry... at least you know that you are not alone, that there is actually someone watching over you, and that is your mother. she'll be watching and helping you through this difficult state, don't worry everyone has to go through this at least once and its get more difficult eveytime... all you have to know is that you're not alone, cuz your mother is right beside you still.