i want tp try again after our miscarriage, he doesnt?

Question

my partner and i suffered a miscarriage of an unplanned pregnancy in november. this was totally unplanned and came as quite a shock to both of us. trouble is, it made me want to have a baby (i already have a beautiful little girl from a previous relationship) - this just made me want to feel a lil bubba inside me again. but he doesnt want to - he isnt ready - he isnt commited enough to take the next step (he still technically lives with his parents even though he stays with me 3-6 nights a week). he is nearly 30 and i am 25 - he has told me he has absolutely no want to start a family. what do i do??? what can i say to him to convince him to start to take our relationship further? we have been together for a little over 2 years

Answer 1

if after two years he still isnt read to commit then its time to move on sweetie. if he still lives with his mommy and daddy he isnt responsible to even want a child with.

Answer 2

You should give him some space and respect his wishes.

Your last pregnancy was unplanned. You've had the thrill of pregnancy and motherhood, but he's made it clear that he's not ready. He's made that very clear. You also need to ask yourself if you're looking to take the next step in your relationship because you want more of a commitment (like marriage or living together) or because YOU want a baby.

Only you know whether or not the relationship has gone as far as it realistically will go. If you MUST have a baby, end this relationship and develop one with someone else.

Answer 3

I have volunteered for a pregnancy resource center before. Just so you know my answer is gonna reflect that.

Marriage is the building block for families. Children need that stable foundation. So do the parents. You already know the srtuggles of single parenthood. I am not saying that you are not doing a good job being a parent. I know that you love your child very much. I am saying that marriage is supposed to be a safe foundation for mom dad and all the babies that comes with mom and dads love. Children are the fruit of the womb! I have 5 and am possibly PG with #6. So please don't take what I say wrong. Children are such a blessing as well as a lot of hard work!

You have so much to offer! If the father of your miscarried baby can't or won't commit to marriage then maybe you can try to find out why. He may have trouble showing his grief for the baby. Approach him with a humble heart and make sure he know how speical the unborn baby's life was, and that he and you have the right to grieve. The loss of a loved one can be devistating. This baby was a product of your love for each other.
However do let him know if you are hurt by him not commiting to you in marriage.


lastly- I'd take it to God in prayer. God made families because everyone in them should feel safe, and I feel this is true. He made you and wants you to know He always loves you. You don't need anyone else to be able talk to God. Just you. By the way He loves you exactly how you are!! Seriously. He doesn't want you to be a prude. He wants to to enjoy life!

God is already standing by. I suggest praying for your other half, and for you. If you can get your hands on a Bible try reading a chapter a day. You don't need to buy one. You can get one from any church FREE. Just take it right off the pew. That is what they are there for; you to take and use. You don't even have to talk to anyone slip in the door and take a Bible and leave. Start in Titus or James. Pray to God, He is waiting to hear from you. You can pray just a simple prayer. God would be thrilled to hear from you and your child and your other half! Just try it!

Answer 4

First of all why is he still living with mommy and daddy at 30? Does he have a good job? Why not get married move in together and then start a family? Maybe he has failure to launch syndrome and doesn't want the responsibility of a family right now. I am sorry about the miscarriage, I had two. I can understand you wanting another baby but start it out as a planned pregnancy wanted by two parents. Good luck

Answer 5

I think you should focus on getting married before trying to have another child. I am sure that was hard to deal with (losing a baby) and I think you need to look at the complete picture. Your partner has not committed to being an adult/man, so I am not surprised that he does not want to commit to take the next step and marry you. The two of you need to have a serious talk about where the relationship is going and what individual expectations the two of you have. Good luck. Be blessed.

Answer 6

There is really nothing you can do to change your husbands mind. He is not ready to have another child yet. The two of you have to be in agreement with wanting a child, but only one of you is, he isn't. If he told you already that he doesn't want to start a family, then you need to stop pressuring him with this.

If he still lives with his parents and hasn't made an effort to be serious, then there is no use in convincing him. It is obvious that he is not ready to make any commitment to you, otherwise, he would have started to make plans to move out of his parents house and start making plans for you two to get married. Has he ask you to marry him yet? If not, then he is not ready for any type of commitment. There is nothing you can do. Just move on.

Not sure how long it will take for him to be ready, he may be to immature for marriage, who knows.

Answer 7

He sounds like he has really made up his mind about not committing. You are letting his stay with you a few nights a week, but he resides with his parents and he's 30. You may love him, and he may love you but on his side it's more because you are convienent. I know that sounds ugly, but it's been two years, by then there should be some kind of commitment. Think, would this be the kind of relationship you would want your daughter to have? She will, if you keep living it right in front of her.

Answer 8

Give the poor guy a break. Miscarriage is hard on the father too, he probably hasn't had time to grieve for this child that he didn't even know existed before he lost it. He needs time, not pressure. You are only 35, there is plenty of time for you to have another child, with or without him, but it will definitely be without him if you don't give him some room.

Answer 9

You don't want to be tied to someone that will despise you just because you want a baby if you do get pregnant. He is being truthful with you. If you feel that you want more children, then end your relationship with him and move on to a man that wants a commitment with you.

Answer 10

HE probably won't commit. Let him go and start a new life for yourself. 30 and with his parents; come on. He may be good for you but if you were to fill out a resume for him on who he is and where he's going would he sound good enough to father a child?