I have my husband with 2 sons, but I feel unhappiness because I found I was in fact a lesbian after I lived with my husband for 4 years . To find my true love, I join one great lesbian dating club(http://www.ldate.com/i/lesbianclub)... and incredible that I found my soul mate about one month later. She also love me very much. We had a great online chat and I could not wait to have a chat with her face to face. After having a face to face chat with her, she said she could not live without me, she wanted me to marry her asap. I also would like to marry her, but should I desert my husband and two sons? Please tell me how to deal with the problem, I am really in a bad mood and do not know how to do.
2007-02-07 14:23:07 · 8 answers · asked by ? 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
ACTUALLY, you are not asking a question, you are just a spammer. I checked your profile, you asked that same Q 5X...I reported your ***.
First of all, you just met this woman. You should really take the time to understand if what you are feeling is love and not lust. Love is something that takes time to nurture and develop. Lust is like pie crust, easily made, easily broken. If you are indeed a lesbian and married, than you need to sit down and talk with your husband about how you feel. You need to approach it very delicately. You took vows with this man and have children together. To throw everything away for a woman you barely know will do nothing but damage your relationship with your husband and your children. You need to be responsible. I know, its not the romantic thing to do. But you need to know where your priorities are. Your children should come first. First, deal with your current relationship, even if that means ending it. But end it amicably. This will ensure your relationship with your children. Then you can be free to pursue a new relationship.
2007-02-07 14:33:58 · answer #1 · answered by faithy_q_t_poo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. On one hand, the maxim "know thyself" dictates that you should always be true to yourself; however, in this case you also have the welfare of your two sons to think about.
I am assuming that your children are really young, no older than 4. One thing you have to at least consider is that given that you have only met this woman one time, this could be simply an infatuation. Now granted, it seems you do know for sure that you identify as a lesbian, but given the delicate situation I'd at least want to make sure I knew the other woman better before I made any impulsive decisions.
I assume your children are already old enough to identify with both you and the father; it would be a shame to rip up your situation only to find 6 months down the road that the woman pulls up anchor after having suddenly discovered that it wasn't love after all. I'd want to wait to decide until I was sure that this was not a flash in the pan deal, that this woman is in for the long-term and not merely desperate because of unfulfilled emotional needs.
On the other hand, it doesn't seem like a good idea to repress your true identity indefinitely. Doing so would simply corrode you within, and your children and the husband would suffer anyway from emotional neglect. All of your emotional energy would eventually focus inwardly on your internal psychic pain.
Is there perhaps a happy medium here? Would your husband be open to considering a polyamorous relationship involving this woman if you explained to him frankly that you had same-sex desires that you wished to explore? Of course, the woman might not be okay with it, particularly if she had a problem involving a male in sexual activity, and your husband might eventually get the idea that it was more than just pure physical attraction. But even if he did so, at least it would be something like a buffer period that would dampen some of the trauma that would otherwise be inflicted by you leaving outright immediately.
And it also might allow you some time to let your children get to know the woman by introducing her as an "auntie" or "friend" or something, thereby mitigating the eventual trauma to them. Remember, you also need to evaluate how this woman is going to interact with your children, since she would be intimately involved in their lives if you eventually left your husband. And so does she, for that matter. She needs to be fully cognizant of what she's getting into.
Honestly, I think if this woman truly loves you she should be willing to consider making the sacrifice for a period of time in light of your situation, even if she has a distaste for involving males in her sexual activity.
It's a tough spot you're in, no doubt. Good luck with it.
2007-02-07 23:55:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK I could just about mirror your situation with one difference, I was divorced from my husband. Have you actually had relations with this girl or have you just chatted. Big difference! How old are your sons? You need to be very aware of how this can effect them while they are young. My boys were grown when I made the switch. Do you love your husband enough to stay or are there other aspects of your relationship that are not going well. (other then your attraction to this girl) I guess were I am going with this is that you really need to completely end one relationship before starting another or things can get very complicated. I realize this advice maybe a bit to late. Good Luck, I know in my heart as well that my current partner is my soul mate!
2007-02-07 22:54:52 · answer #3 · answered by kar506 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a mother NO ONE is worth leaving your kids for. What bothers me so much is that you met her once & you're willing to leave your sons. Do you know how many people want children so badly but can't have them?
2007-02-07 23:08:56 · answer #4 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GUYS and GIRLS-----do you think she is simply plugging a website?
2007-02-08 14:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow thats a lil sad i think!!
2007-02-07 23:30:51 · answer #6 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually am bi....and i kno how you feel cuz i was like dat....but you should at least first......talk to your husband and then talk to your baby girl......but i would actually follow my heart....if you love your chikita....then stay with her i guess.......but you should still keep in contact with your husband.....and mostly with your baby....(SONS)....dat'z wat i tell you....
2007-02-07 22:40:16 · answer #7 · answered by smiley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you are bi and you and your girlfriend can both live with your husband.
2007-02-07 22:27:05 · answer #8 · answered by answer man 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋