Any thought would be appreciated?

Question

I'm amazed at how many people find it hard to communicate with a loved one. I was wondering why is it that many couples struggle not only to approach and also to find the right words when they have something important to say to their better halves. If you're in a commited relationship shouldn't you be able to just talk without fear of hurting his or her feelings? Any thought?

Answer 1

That is one very good question. As a women I will answer to what my life experiances have shown me.

Women tend to stew over something. By the time she takes it to her other half she is already upset and past the point of a civil conversation. I think men feel ambushed by this as they had no clue she was upset. The tend to feel cornered and shut down. We in turn blow up even more because we feel he is trying to avoid the whole thing and as well as us. This turns into a whole big mis-understanding.

Answer 2

I thought the same way when my bf and I almost broke up a few months ago. We both realized that communication is the only way that we as a couple can survive. I telling him everything and him the same. we don't keep any secrets. If either of us has anything to say and can't come up with the right words, we stammer and stutter till it kind makes sense and sometimes it never does but we get the gist of what the other is saying.

Answer 3

Alot of the time is because of the "been there and done that" syndrome. You've done this before and they flipped out or didnt Listen to what you are saying but are more focused on how they feel or think. Sometimes people just need to vent, with NO opinions, just an ear is nice at times.
And on the other hand, how do you say what it is that you need to say? Do you do it making sure that there are only facts and no insults? Man this question would be so much easier to answer if I knew what the subject was referring to....
Good luck.

Answer 4

The ability to communicate is vital to a healthy relationship. When talking; if you do hurt their feelings you'll know it. Just explain why you feel the way you do and express that the desire to offend was never the intention. Not all people are blessed with the ability to put the right words together but with patience and grace you'll make it through.

Answer 5

Communication is suppose to be the key to a successful marriage. It could be one of the two may be a little sensitive and not wanting to hurt the others feelings. There shouldn't be any obstacles to keep you from be able to talk to your better half. Or they are not as mature as the other. I can talk to my hubby about anything. I don't see why it's so hard. You can agree to disagree. That makes a difference.

Answer 6

too many times people come across situations where peoples feelings can get hurt

but also too many people try so hard at times to spare others feelings and so they fumble too much just looking for the right way to say things, eventually the meaning of the message gets lost and no one is hurt, but the message does not get across

forget sparing a persons feelings, try not to be brutal, but place more concern on being truthfull than nice and at least the meaning will not get lost, you may get into a little trouble, thats understandable, but it will be less trouble then if the message comes out completely wrong

Answer 7

I totally agree with you here bud. We should communicate and talk with each other and not be scared about it either. We should be able to be honest with each other about how we feel and why but not be mean about it either. you can say things in love and concern instead of a mean and harsh way. It is all about how you say it and what you choose to say. Think before you speak. remember words spoken hastily can cause harm that can never be taken back once said. Just think about this before saying something you might regret later. Great question by the way.


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Answer 8

In my situation, he was very critical and said that i over analyzed things. He thought i was fussin about something or trying to start a fight. He was just very closed off emotionally and it was very hard to discuss any issue that i had with him. So instead of trying to talk to him about an issue that i had, i just harbored it. I didnt wanna fight, so i didnt say anything at all. This is what ultimately broke us.
I believe communication is one of the most important factors to a successful relationship. But its hard when only one is talking. One person cant make it work.
Just my situation.

Answer 9

Love is an adult issue that is a total of factors that only mature adults understand---COMMUNICATION is probably the biggest---also respect, integrity, dignity, caring, tolerance, understanding and support are a few others---you need all of these for a great relationship---a happy one too. Having a considerate, sane, calm , discussion on anything, is the true key to problem solving. And respect for the viewpoint of your partner is also important. Good luck

Answer 10

You should be able to but it's usually not that easy, sometimes. Most times it's a flaw your loved one has that you feel irritated about but can't find the words to say it, without offending them (bruising their ego). You love them so much that your not sure if bringing up the issue is more about the action or more about your irritation, hence your problem.
More times than not they will be quick to defend and tables may turn on to your flaws, hence more problems.
It usually depends on if the problem is worth addressing and how to go about it without hurting the one you love. Words can be used to help or to hurt, it takes tact to solve the problem fairly and in a loving way.