I am in a relatively new relationship with a guy in the Canadian Air Force...it is unlikely that he will be posted anywhere for at least a couple of years. Things are going well between us - we are in love and he wants us to live together - my only problem is that I am an only child and my parents do not have that much family around so its pretty much just the two of them....I feel really guilty at the prospect of leaving them behind some day - when I think of them alone together and old without me around to help them it pretty much breaks my heart - I know that the idea of me leaving is bothering them and they have dropped some hints - is there anything I can do to overcome this guilt? Should I walk away from my relationship and find something safer. I love my parents so much - they have always been there for me and now I feel like I am deserting them.....PLEASE HELP!!! :(
2007-02-07 13:40:16 · 15 answers · asked by valleygal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's all apart of growing up.
They can handle things themselves
2007-02-07 13:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you met someone, does not mean your relationship with your parents will cease to exist. I understand the guilt you may have, however, you need to flourish in your life as well. Your parents need to be together, alone. The reason of the guilt trip could be contributed to they are afraid to be alone together. You need to have a healthy relationship with the one you love, and you can continue a relationship with the parents. You leaving may give them time to be with each other, that is what their fear is. Being alone with each other. You finding your own life by all means is very healthy. They are grown ups and will learn to adapt with each other. You obviously are a great child, so happiness is all they should want to see for you.
2007-02-07 13:49:35 · answer #2 · answered by hbuckmeister 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural for us to leave our parents nest as we get older. You can still be there for your parents if you move away. Any "real" relationship takes work, family, friendship or loving, they all take work. Your man should also be understanding and make sure that you can readily get to your family when need be or simply just because. Just make sure you always put up money to pay for a plane ticket home for those spur of the moment visits. Get unlimited long distance so you can talk to them everynight. Send cards frequently. You can still be there, when you cant. Your parents should also be proud that their daughter has found an outstanding proud young man that will take care of her the rest of her life and make her happy. It will all work out, you'll see. Good luck and best wishes.
2007-02-07 13:49:26 · answer #3 · answered by dreamz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? And your parents probably aren't upset about you moving out and away, but maybe they are upset about you moving in with a guy who you are not married to. Don't you think marriage is the next step instead of being a unpaid whore/maid? This is such a huge mistake that alot of women make. There won't be any real commitment, why should there be? You need to read Dr Laura's book 10 stupid things women do to mess of their lives. Good luck.
2007-02-07 13:47:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you love them, you cannot put your life on hold forever just in case or whenever they need you. They should not expect you to do so either. This is totally selfish of them to have you hang around till they need you. If the time comes and they need help, you can always move them with you wherever you are. If they are not willing to do this, they are looking out for themselves and not YOUR happiness so why should you worry about them. May sound harsh, but it is a fact. Think about it.
2007-02-07 13:47:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your pretty close to your parents... hmm. Well, since you don't want to be far from your parents, i say, live with your guy, and keep your relationship going, and find a home near where your parents live, even if its in the same city...so you don't have to worry about deserting your parents.
Good Luck! =]
2007-02-07 13:50:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have your own life to live. You have to leave your parents for your life, just as they left theirs for their life together. You can't let guilt rule or you will regret it the rest of your life. Life your life for you and what you want. You can write, call, email and visit as much as you can. Don't throw away a relationship with someone you love for guilt. I'd hate to think someday of you looking back a lonely old woman, putting your life on hold while you took total care of your parents and passed up chances to have someone of your own in your life. Sure they don't want you to go, but you have a right to live your own life the way you want to. I think it is selfish to use guilt to try to keep you from following your own life, but I mean no disrespect to your parents. I am a parent, I wish my kids lived next door, but they don't and I cope with it. I miss them too but they are busy with their lives as they have the right to be.
Go live your own life, keep up, keep in touch, visit often and enjoy life.
Good luck
2007-02-07 13:50:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you move out doesn't mean that you can't have a relationship with your parents. You can go visit them everyday. Tell you bf that you don't want to move to far away from home. Stay close, but you need to have your own life.
2007-02-07 13:43:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u shouldnt feel guilty. its just the way life goes your parents raise you and then you fall in love and leave them. they love you and dont want you to leave however if you dont you will always regret it for the rest of your life. you can always call your parents house home but if you walk away from this situation u may be leaving your true love.
2007-02-07 13:47:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun your parents' job is to raise you to become a self sufficient adult, not to be their caretakers. Unless they are deathly ill, go live your life. You can always come back home if they need you that badly. Dont feel guilty for living your life. Keep in touch with them so they wont be too lonely.
2007-02-07 13:44:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love this man and want to spend the rest of your life together, your parents should understand. We raise children to be on their own and not to take care of us exclusively. Try to explain to your parents that you will be coming to visit them periodically and be there for them always.
2007-02-07 13:43:36 · answer #11 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋