I cant move on, help?

Question

i dont see myself in a relationship anymore with this girl who turned me down...but why is it my stomach literally ached when i saw her again??? and i cant get her off my mind, i keep replaying our brief enocunter, asking myself why did i feel that way and what was she thinking. i even internalize how will i feel if i see her with someone else, and im starting to hate that guy who got along with her. i keep promising myslef ill never ask another question about her, but i still do.

(im busy with college and have crushes, but she still bothers me so much! i still feel hurt.i want my revenge, but being mad just keeps me stranded, and if im not mad, i tend to have a soft spot for her)

Answer 1

This event is but a grain of sand in the hourglass of your life. As time passes, that grain of sand will be buried, I assure you. The reason your body aches is because of the activation of your sympathetic nervous system and the presence of intense stress. The sympathetic nervous system is activated when we feel in trouble or threatened, and it causes various things to happen within our body when it's activated. Stress is caused when an individual is presented with a stimulus that provokes a reaction. Various things can increase that stress, such as the inability carry through with the desired reaction. As you can imagine, wanting to be with this person and not being able to can be the source of some of the greatest stresses in life.

Ok, now getting away from the scientific B.S... heed the advice of one of my favorite books/movies, "Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy", and 'Don't Panic!' What you are feeling is completely one hundred percent normal. Many human beings in the present, and the past and in the future have felt exactly how you feel right now and what is even more important to remember is that people have healed completely from these events. Not only is the passing of time important, but it's important what you do with that time. I suggest you give yourself a period of time where you're allowed to think about it (like a week or two), but after that period is up, force yourself to forget about it. Everytime you start thinking of her, throw yourself into your studies and play a song that makes you happy.

I hope this helps somehow.

And under no circumstances should you try and "get back with her by apologizing and correcting your mistakes". The old belief about soul mates may be true, but that doesn't mean we need to decide they're "the one" before they actually are. If it was truly meant to be, it will happen without you hurting yourself by setting yourself up for a second rejection.

Answer 2

Well from experience i can say that your in love. You might have other crushes but how strong are they. What i mean is that, is the crush u feel over the girl strong. Is the feeling very powerful, so powerful that if she isnt by your side will u be miserable for the rest of your life? What about for the women that u have soft spot for, does a feeling of anxiety(a word that i hope i am using correctly)do u feel that u will be dead inside without her? If this is true u might be in love. Its true that after a while that feeling might disappear and u might find someone else but r u sure that u want that women to leave ur world forever. Like the other answeres had said that dont let her get into ur studies and life but the way they said it is totally wrong. Basically they are saying that to forget her but no. U should not forget about her yet! U have to make it like a goal to regain(i believe that im using the appropriate words) her heart but dont make it a goal that ur comparing her to an item.
If i were u i would be trying to get back with her to apoligize for ur mistakes and sattisfy ur love for her

I hope this helps and i hope u understood what i said.
Good Luck!!

Answer 3

Dear Vincent, It is not easy to be turned down by anyone, but especially by someone you had good feelings for. I can only tell you that with time it will get better. I am sure you have heard this before but it is true. If you are completely sure that this girl wants nothing to do with you, you are best to think of ways to take up all your time so that you will not be thinking of her. You say you are busy at college and have crushes and that is good, but join some clubs, maybe outside campus, and make new friends, friends that will help you forget her. Friends that do not know you or her and remind you of her. If you have some extra time, how about volunteering, an hour or two a week will do wonders for you. Help out at some Community Center and get to meet some teens or elderly. Many of them are loaded with so many problems and they are always happy to have some one volunteer their time and help. With time You will find yourself thinking less and less of your hurt and pain as you minister to the hurts of others. Your pain is real and I do not want to make it sound as it isn't, but with a positive attitude and being with people that need you, and lots of outside activity, you will learn to forget this girl who turned you down, as well as making new friends and healing your broken heart. With time your hurt and pain will be gone, and you will see yourself soon with someone new that will appreciate you and feel for you as you feel for her. Do not let what happened, (believe me this happens to all of us) bitter you against women, another guy that she is with, with love, and marriage.. Life is precious and Love is even more.. Let go of hate, it is not worthy of you, mad and revengful feelings and hold on to the Vincent that was before you met her. I am counting on your success and living life. Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

members of my family have suffered with this, its known as paralysed sleep. I have had episodes of it myself and its bloody frightening. Do you have a partner? if you do and they can learn to recognise the symptoms all they have to do is touch you and you will come out of it. My episodes were all associated with highly stressful periods in my life. I don't know of any medical help you can get but i found that doing some relaxation exercises before going to bed and perhaps a warm milky drink do help.If you go to bed tense and expecting an episode then that's the time they usually occur. look and recognise the stressful parts of your life and try to work on them. for me learning to relax was the way i overcame those episodes. I do wish you well, i know how frightening it can be.

Answer 5

Hi Vincent !!!


What you feel is NOT love, What you feel is your "EGO" hurting!!!!

In life, the easy things we don't really pay much mind, but those things that we would like and unfortunately can't have, will constantly be in our minds, as a reminder of failure. And when this happens our ego, gets to work, keeping us from enjoying others things or other people.

I suggest that you keep moving forward in life and accept and learn from your failures. Also a lesson to learn quickly, we can NOT have everything or everyone we actually want!!!

LIVE, LEARN AND MOVE ON!!!!

GOD BLESS YOU, GOOD LUCK & HAPPY LIFE

A.Z.

Answer 6

awww.........I feel so sorry for you. I don't know I should ask that or not but please don't mind what happened between you guyz......Was it really serious. Why did you break up with her is there anyway you can make up to her don't get mad it will drive you crazy control yourself okay. Be patient that's life "If someone is gone from your life you can't stop living you have to move on"..time never stop for anyone.......just bcuz of her you can't ruin your life or your education. I hope you don't mind whatever I say. S

Answer 7

Yo it is ♥ and ♥ is very hard to achieve or to forget it.But when you meet a new girl you will forget your old girl in time.Beside if you hate someone who get along with her is jealous.And dont revenge cuz it just make you look stupid and selfish

Answer 8

What are You studying at college? I don't suppose that it would happen to be psychology, would it?