How to keep my dignity with a liar/womanizer ?

Question

How to keep my dignity?
I broke up with someone because they were a womanizer..three weeks later he is seeing someone else..is being cheap on child support. (though he can afford booze and dates) wont give up the apartment for my daughter and I to live in though it is rent free as a resident manager position..and I hate him so much that I want to pick a fight with im to hurt him every time we talk..how do I get this guy out of my personal life? How do I make him sorry he left me and was cheap? How do I not scream and yell and call him names whenever I talk to him? What my real question is though is how do I act with dignity and poise to make him think twice about his horrible behavior?

Answer 1

wow thats deep. It takes ALOT of selfcontrol. You need to reflect on why he is still important enough to take up your time. Are you really over him? Because if he still cares about u at all the best payback is for him to see you move on...ignore him and just ask him to be mature about paying what he owes..

Answer 2

Wow.

First, see your local District Attorney's family law facilitator to help you fill out the papers to obtain a child support Order. Make him responsible for his child; child support isn't about you, it's about the child the two of you conceived.

Second, call your local county welfare department and ask them about housing assistance.

Third, you can be angry and hateful and still have your dignity. However, nothing, absolutely nothing, you can do will make him do anything.

You have to accept that you are powerless over people, places and things. You cannot make him love his daughter, support his daughter (but the LAW can), care about you, care if you live on the street, stop dating other women, stop spending money on them. NOTHING.

You can write him a letter telling him how much you hate him, and how he's failed as a human being, and anything and everything you feel. Write until you've cried so many tears you can't see the paper. Write until you are exhausted. And then, and this is an absolute, destroy the letter. You have release in the writing....you gain nothing by sending it to him.

Then love your child. And love yourself. You may hurt and be angry and want him back, but the best revenge is living well. And, when you have put together a successful, prosperous life, and his is in the toilet, he may come crawling back. Then, with dignity and poise, thank him for making it possible for you to have such and incredible life, step over him, and walk away.

You deserve it and you owe it to your child.

Answer 3

You are under no obligation to act with dignity and poise, both of which are often highly overrated. On the other hand, since you already acknowledge that he's worthless, why do you still allow him to be so important to you? For a person to bother you you must first acknowledge that they are important to you. Is the resident manager position yours or his? If his, the complex is under no obligation to give you an apartment. If he's not paying his child support, you can, in some states have his wages garnished. as for out of your personal life, if he has visitation, tou're required to put up with his sorry a** a couple of times a month. If he's bothering you, have him arrested for stalking/harassment and get a court order requiring him to stay away. Don't know if I've been helpful, I hope so, Good Luck.

Answer 4

You almost answered your question with a question, til you got to the end: "What my real question is though is how do I act with dignity and poise to make him think twice about his horrible behavior?"
This guy is obviously tired and a sorry excuse for a man/father. You're best bet is to be the bigger person in all of this (for your child's sake) move on, try to seek additional support from your attorney general (re: child support).
There's absolutely nothing you can do to make him think twice, because he does not care about you. He does not respect you.
He puts his needs first. It sounds like you still have feelings. You don't need to be with someone who could discard you like a used tampon! He is not thinking about you, so you need to quit wasting the energy and brain power on him!
Do whatever it takes to keep your dignity & sanity. Put your baby's needs first. Pray on it, seek support from family/friends. Watch every single thing you say (or do to) him in front of your child, because it really does affect her. There's a saying: Kids are like wet cement: everything makes an impression.

Answer 5

The best scene in a movie. . .that fits this situation. . is in Pride and Prejudice. Mr Darcy is sitting at a writing desk and the two women are walking around the room. The one woman asks him to join them. He says no he would be in the way. And the first woman says I wonder what he means by that. And the second woman says the best way to annoy him is not to ask (what he means). Any time someone has jacked you around and then you want to yell and scream, you are feeding his ego. He knows he can still jack you around. It's as simple as you still care and he doesn't. It hurts you and you still want him to react to you-even negatively. . .you're begging for any attention you can get. Suck it up. You want to play the game, then play it very wisely. Men want what they can't have anymore. Put yourself in that position. Learn to control yourself and get that pokerface going. Practice in front of a mirror. Don't overdo and just ignore him and if you must talk to him talk to him like he is someone you don't know. You will never make him sorry. . .he is sorry. He has wasted enough of your time. And by the way. . .women seem to fantasize over getting even and him begging to come back. . .men just go out and get another woman and it isn't really personal.

Answer 6

I feel you on this one I lost my daughter to a man because i was a stay home wife and had no money.I acted completly crazy and showed up in the middle of the night after drinking wanting to see my daughter I lost all hope in life.I got back with him just so I could be a mom again because I thought if I do this at least my daughter will have a chance but after that I was so angry at him for doing this to me,I couldn't act calm or with dignity at all.I lost it one day and hit him as hard as I could because he was calling me names in front of my three year old daughter and she was screaming and crying.I kept saying please don't do this in front of her she doesn't have to suffer because we hate each other.He would not so I socked him before I knew or thought what I did.He had me arrested and my daughter is six and still remembers that day so think about that when you feel so angry you could rip his head off.The child is caught in the crossfire of a marriage that failed.If you think about that sweet innocent baby every time you want to explode maybe that will help you to calm yourself.Plus thats what he wants you to do,he thinks you are a bit#h that wants him just like every other bit#ch.Men who are like that think like that.There is nothing you could say or do to change their minds thats who they are.But you know who you are and obviously you are a person who doesn't take shi^ from someone like that be proud of yourself for that.Find you someone who will love you and only you and who cares if he thinks twice about his decision you know better and you know that he was a lesson learned and he is a child who is just learning about life or he wouldn't do childish things.You take care of u and that baby and don't let anyone bring you down no matter how bad it hurts....I hope this helps

Answer 7

Give up on him

Dont give him the time of day

Raise your child in a loving and educational home

Make your child realise that all people are different and have different motives in life (but dont put him down in front of your child)

In short, the best way to combat someone like this is to be the bigger person and rationalise with yourself that you are an adult and youdont need to 'get back' at him

Answer 8

Hun, you will never be able to make him see that what he did was horrible. Some men just lack a conscience.The best advice I can give you is tell him that you have no hard feelings towards him, and that you are moving on. He will feel more guilty about you forgiving him than if you yell and scream. It works like a charm. The guilt will eat him up. Tried, tested and true.

Answer 9

What dignity? The way your acting your making him grateful he left!!!

Time to move on, you wont make him think about anything! he is obviously sold on his behavior, and your dignity wont change that! go on about your life and be grateful that you were able to get this thimble-headed shitheel out of your life..

So cheer up and get busy living, life is too short to waste it on knuckleheads!!

Answer 10

Refuse association and especially franernization until they change their ways. Second offense, make it permininant. First offense, explain second offense. Its tough, but some people have a thing for cheating. If money is an issue use an attorney and don't show up personally.