How do I ask my fiance if he wants his kids?

Question

We live together and always have the kids on the weekends. No actual life for the two of us. Now he is getting frustrated with his kids all the time because we don't do the fun stuff. I'm sure he loves his kids but doesn't seem to want them. His parents are always telling him to spend as much time as possilbe with his kids. They are 3 and 5 years old. He tells me that his kids annoy the crap out of him and usually can't wait untill they go back to their mother. How do I go about asking him if he should spend less time with them or not at all? He gets very upset at them at least once a day when they are with us on the weekends. I've thought of asking him why he doesn't just have them every other weekend like other dads but I don't know what his out come will be or what kind of facts I can get before asking him.

Answer 1

Ask your self if you want children! if you do he's is 100% the wrong BOY.
Now he is getting frustrated with his kids all the time because we don't do the fun stuff. these are only part time children for him and he's is frustrated? Fun stuff? there are end-list number of FUN STUFF that can be done with 3 and 5 year old's.
He tells me that his kids annoy the crap out of him. and what do you think his boys are learning? do you want children learning the same thing.
and usually can't wait until they go back to their mother. and if they where yours where would he want them to go!!!!!!

asking him why he doesn't just have them every other weekend like other dads . This is a big one there are lots of DAD's that spend time every day with there children.

the facts are already in:
children frustrate him, they annoy him, and he can wait till there gone.
that is your answer.
he needs to learn how to be a parent before he'll ever be a Dad.
if he can't handle 2 why even think about 3

Answer 2

First of all every weekend may be way too much for him to deal with if he only has weekends off. If he had one weekend a month to do what he wants (and not have the kids) he may not get as frustrated. He will have more rest and more patients. Then you can have more time together, too. It's normal to get upset with children that age. But upset isn't the right word. Frustrated is probably the right word. But, he does need his "own time". Ask him if he would like one weekend a month for just him. Or get advise on how to deal with the children in frustrating moments and teach him how to deal with them. That can also be the cutest years of their young childhood. Activities help alot. Don't expect them to behave if all they do is sit around. And if your running every minute to entertain isn't good either. There has to be a happy medium. And they are old enough where you can tell them the plan for the day.

Answer 3

This is the man you live with and are going to marry. You should be able to talk with him about everything and anything. Afterall, his children and their visits affect you too. Do you plan to have children together? If you want kids, you'd better think twice about this relationship. If he can't handle his kids on the weekends, how will he handle your kids 24/7. He sounds very selfish. Perhaps you can help him enjoy his kids more. He probably doesn't know how to have fun with this age. Planned projects, outings, movies that are age appropriate, special meals, etc all make for fun and exciting times together. Again, I strongly urge you to take a long look at your man and be sure he is what you really want.

Answer 4

Just talk to him calmly and ask him someday when he is in a good and calm mood and when the kids are not getting on his nerves. He may have a different outlook when he is calm and not upset. Since these are his kids he does need to be with them as much as possible and he may want another child someday.

Answer 5

He is pathetic. His children did not ask to be brought into this world, they do not need to be treated this way. The children's mother should be made aware of how they are being treated. You need to think long and hard before marrying this man. If he can treat his own kids this way, how will he treat you? Also, do you want children? If so, DO NOT have them with him! Good luck.

Answer 6

You should tell him that you notice how upset he seems to get when his kids around. Just ask him if having them every other weekend would make him happier.

Answer 7

Wow, he sounds like a total jerk. Do you want to have children with him someday? I strongly suggest you rethink this situation, because he is a very mean man. I feel really badly for his children. What a shame. I would tell his parents how he treats his kids. Maybe they wouldn't so strongly suggest he spends that much time with them. It sounds like all he is going to do is damage the poor things.

Answer 8

I think it's terrible that he feels that way about his own children. Perhaps that is why he's divorced. Are you clear on marrying someone who obviously doesn't know how to love his own flesh and blood. I'm not trying to be negative, I just hope you are REALLY thinking about what this man can offer you after you're married. Actions speak louder than words. Be careful. Life is too short for regrets.

Answer 9

well damn first off he has enough right now.lol but spend time and help the situation u have now with his kids then try to think about more. dont cloud him with the thought of new ones right now, u dont want to look selfish. show him your trying to grow with his and he needs to appreciate the ones he has, u dont want him treating ur kids together like that

Answer 10

ask