Why do girly guys have to act that way and give masculine gay guys a bad name?

Question

Why do girly guys have to act that way? If they weren't acting that way, there really wouldn't be anything to make fun of. Most jokes are aimed at how those feminine guys act and automatically associated with all gay males. But tht's just because it's not obvious that they are gay and not obvious that masculine guys are, and so they think the majority of gay people act like that. Frankly, I think it creeps me out when men act like that. I've seen a lot of girly men and I don't understand why they choose to act like the opposite sex. I think you can help your behavior and what you say, such as when someone says behave yourself. Attraction is different! I am just quite frankly sick and tired of being associated with those feminine guys that freak me out and am sick of the stereotype that all gay men act that way just because it's not as obvious a masculine guy is gay. Those flamboyant men who are hair stylist, and say "Fabulous" creep me out. Even a little bti of that behavior is freaky

A lot of your answers suggest that I completely hate them and think they are weird. I just feel it that, that behavior is bizarre. It doesn't mean I wouldn't become friends with a feminine guy and treat him with respect and so forth. Miss Understood, maybe you're right. Maybe they just act that way to fit in with what society expects of them or something. I really don't know, but I have respect for everyone. :)

Answer 1

Wow . . . hate much?

A lot of masculine gay men feel like you do- that it's unfair that all gay men are stereotyped as feminine. They might not really care for feminine men, or be sexually attracted to them. But there's a difference between expressing those opinions, and to call them 'freaky'. As far as I know, people are still throwing that word around for masculine gay men, too, and I'm sure you don't appreciate it.

You say that people can help their behavior. Certainly they can. I think the difference here is the question of what, exactly, should be helped. When people say "Behave yourself.", it's because you're acting out of line. Since when did a little effeminate behavior become anything but something that creeps you, personally, out? It's like you're saying there's something wrong with gay male effeminacy, when in reality it's just one of the many ways for gay males to be, and nothing that you have to enjoy or identify with.

Just leave it alone. I'm pretty sure that no matter what, the people making jokes about gays will find a way to do it- the jokes come from a hatred or discomfort around homosexuality, and the effeminacy is just one thing to latch onto. Personally, it seems like your attitude isn't making things any easier for anyone except masculine gay men, and not just gay men in general.

I'm sorry that the media portrays gay men as feminine, but the truth is that feminine gay men are out there, and they aren't going to disappear. I wish masculine gay men had more of a voice, but the way to get people to stop making stereotypes and generalizations is not to get rid of all the feminine gay men. It's not fair to them- they're just being who they are- and it's rather sad, I think.

Answer 2

For myself it's comfort mostly. I don't like dresses/skirts so I don't wear them and this automatically means I dress like a "man" when in fact I have no men's clothes. I make no effort at all to be masculine, it's just the way I am. There are plenty of masculine straight women and feminine straight men, being gay doesn't mean we're predisposed to behave a certain way.

Answer 3

I love flaming men, but I don't assume that all gay men are like that nor do I think people who know anything about the homosexual community think flaming men give masculine gay men a bad rep.

My closest gay friend (who I saw today by chance!) was never really attracted to flaming men. He's more of the masculine type, and he had me fooled for years (of course, he was married to a woman at the time). Anyway, he met someone, and this guy is the MOST flaming gay man I've never met. And they are so very deeply in love that my friend has seen past that.

Don't worry about it. Flaming men are no different than girly girls. Ever gender has its extremes.

Answer 4

All the BS aside, I agree with some of your statement. I think the most real and rational answer is that most gay men lack a role model to grow up to, and emulate females instead. Flame away folks-- this is my opinion. There would be a lot more healthy gay men if gay kids had healthy (not talking sex here) exposure to older gay people.

Answer 5

I understand where you're coming from because none of the Gays i knew were like that at all and a former friend felt the same way you do and felt like he got all of the discrimination because of them. But as for the ones who are like that, i guess maybe they're just really confused about who they are and they don't really know who they're "supposed" to be or how they're "supposed" to act, or whatever, so they fall into the whole stereotype of what a Gay man is "supposed" to be like or how everyone expects them to be because maybe they feel they'd be more accepted, or something. But really, I blame Hollywood.

Answer 6

i know what u mean. i came out 3 years ago in my 8th grade class and everyone assumed that i was going 2 dress in drag and wear make up all the time. i didn't like that. i don't like the stereotype but that doesn't mean that i think all gay guys should be masculine. masculine and feminine r words developed my yesterday's generation. that same generation also said that women shouldn't work, blacks should be slaves, and a couple should only consist of a man and a woman. 4get them. i say that we should just b ourselves and not worry about titles. get over it!

Answer 7

Why does it have to be "give them a bad name". What's bad about. They're jt being themselves. You are helping yourself become stereotyped by adding to the criticism. Can't you justbe happy that they are comfortable with who they are?

Answer 8

a few years ago there was a study. 1/3 of all professional football players are gay. guess you identify with that group.
sorry you feel lessened because of someone else.

Answer 9

What a fabulous question!! As soon as I'm finished coloring my b/f's hair I'll get back to you sweetie!

Answer 10

Can you name one ultimate masculine man (Famous) beside Rock Hudson maybe they are femininey because they have to much of the female hormone estrgoen.

There is a study going on right now that indicates GAY MEN do not have normal testosterone levels that straigt men do.