i have a big big problem?

Question

i think my father is cheating on my mother. they have been together for 14 yrs what should i do tell or keep my mouth shut also i dont want to be the cause of them spliting up

Answer 1

Sit your father down and talk to him. Of course he may be angry you even approached him about the situation, so apologize in advance for what you are about to talk to him about. You say you don't want to be the cause of them splitting up, well do you care to be the cause of your mother is being oblivious to the fact that she's being cheated on? Let your father know how you feel about him being faithful to your mother during their marriage. If he is cheating, maybe there are deeper problems going on in their marriage than we see at the surface. Good luck and I feel for the position you are in and facing. No child should ever have to feel like they have to choose between their parents, for any reason.

Answer 2

You say, "I THINK my Father.....I would let that info. lay right there. "they have been together for 14 yrs."......it does'nt matter if they've been together for 40 yrs., is this the way you would want to see your Mother treated? What kind of relationship do you have with each Parent? Are they both open, honest, no embarrasment, type relationships with each? What I'm getting at here is that if this is something you could/would never say to your Mother any other time.....keep your mouth shut. Last.....If you spill your guts or totally "no see, no hear, no speak,".....YOU will NOT IN ANY WAY be the reason for your Parents splitting up."Cause if/when your Mom does find out, it will be ENTIRELY HER decision what to do with that information. Look the other way, or leave him. Your Dad, if he is cheating, may be doing this to get her attention, get attention he feels he cannot get from her, or plans to leave her! Marriage counseling may or may not be an option. It's not as cut and dry as you are seeing it, it's your life, that leaves you totally vulnerable to the outcome. I certainly hope that I have helped you in at least some small way to realize that there is a far bigger picture than what you are blind-sided with by emotions.

Answer 3

Honestly, I really think you should speak to your father about it. Well first analyze why you think so, investigate a little more, like ask your father indirect questions, like if he's going somewhere ask for many details as if you're a very very curious child. Also, if you happen to know the name of the person, I would just innocently ask "hey dad, who is XYZ?". Once you're comfortable with the reason you think he is cheating, then talk to him (father). If he reacts upset and doesn't comfort your fears, then you should tell your mother something to the effect that you sense there are some problems, or issues between them, but don't quite say what it is your thinking, or know. How old are you by the way, it's important for you to be mature enough to approach it very carefully. You seem mature enough because you're seeking advice first, but be very careful. And about it being your fault, no absolutely not, it will defintely not be your fault, you didn't cause them to cheat, this is a decision they made, you just happen to see it and it is definitely your business!! You are the child and the product of both your mother and father!

Answer 4

What?! Are you slow as hell or what?! Man this is your mother...the woman that had given birth to you! The only person in the world you know is going to always be there for you no matter what! The woman that loves you, comforts you, and would never do anything to harm you...So my suggestion to you would be to...TELL HER!!! How would you feel if she (your mother) knew about your gf or wife cheating on you and never saying a word! We've been told to be considerate of other people's feelings right? And you don't wanna hurt her feelings, true? Damn that! I mean I know you wouldn't wanna see that look on her face when ever she does find out, but it's better you tell her than someone else right?

Answer 5

Well it depends on how your mom will take this info. If she's the kind that will cry and be devastated and end up staying with your father anyways, than dont tell her because all thats going to do is give your dad the notion to keep doing his thang. After he realises your mother aint gonna go no where after finding out he's been cheating on her than what he'll end up doing is the same thing all over again and again and again.

Answer 6

This could make or brake your family you need to first make sure you know for a fact what is happening. This is not your problem but think if your child caught your lover cheating on you would you want your child to let you know or stay out of it.
If anyting talk to your dad, give him a chance to explain himself.
Talk to them together and tell them that they are acting like. You dont want to be the one to split them up but it will be much worst for your mother to find out years later or worst NEVER.
Which do you value most a family or a honest family.

Answer 7

You need to have proof before spilling the beans... Worse case scenario, hire a PI. Do not ask your dad directly... this may tip him off if he is cheating...

If you go around accusing your dad of something he is not doing, this may cause resentment between you and him. You are a good son for wanting the truth to come out and I am shocked at the people on here who told you to mind your own business! These are YOUR parents so they are YOUR business! I see and understand your heart here. You want to see your parents happy, yet you dont want your mom hurt if he is cheating. Just go with what you know. If you have proof, confront your dad with your mom there. If you dont have proof, get it. If he isnt cheating, let it go...

Good luck sweetheart and I hope it all works out.

Answer 8

I can't believe people here think you should mind your own business. You need to have a heart to heart talk with your dad & tell him what you think. If you have concrete evidence that your dad's cheating, present that evidence to him at this time. Let him know how concerned you are & that you love both parents & would hate to see them split up. If your parents split up, believe me, it wouldn't be your fault! Let your dad be the one to tell your mom, but she may already know. There are telltale signs when a man is cheating & it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. You have every right to be concerned.

Answer 9

The biggest thing I see here is the word "think". If youre not 100% sure then youve got nothing and is it worth upsetting your family over nothing. With no proof youll be in more hot water than you care to be, making false accusations. And if your father is only flirting youve got nothing, so if youre willing to upset status quo youd better get some real good evidence or it will backfire on you. Good luck

Answer 10

I think that at 14 this is between your parents. If they split up its not your fault and if your father is cheating on your mother, she will find out but u need to stay away from it. If u feel that u need to say something, maybe talk to your dad and voice your concerns to him but i wouldn't go saying anything to your mom.