ok thers this guy that comes into my job the cafe where i work and he is sexy and charming and he is so into me, anyway i am married ,not happily but i dont know how to say no. i like the attention but i know nothing can happen help !
2007-02-07 11:58:20 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're sending him mixed signals, hon. You like the attention, and you probably need some positive attention, since you say you aren't happily married. You're attracted to him, and he can probably tell that - you call him "sexy and charming." But you seriously need to learn, right NOW, to set a firm boundary with him and other people in the world. You need to learn to NOT show your feelings and to send clearer signals.
One thing that would help you would be to find a healthy, not-off-limits source of positive attention. Spend more time with your girlfriends or nearby family members or something, so that you don't look forward to this guy coming into the cafe quite so much. In the meantim, it would be good if you could swap shifts with someone else so that you aren't there when he drops by.
When you say that you aren't happily married, then that "I know nothing can happen," you seem to indicate that you're in a "limbo" period in your life. You're waiting for someone else to make a move to change something, to break the pattern that you're in. Why stay in an unhappy marriage? Cafe guy definitely is NOT a reason to change, nor is he the way out - that's a bad idea. But if your marriage isn't salvageable (and I'm assuming here that you HAVE tried), then what's keeping you there? He probably wouldn't be all that if you weren't so unhappy, anyway.
2007-02-07 15:35:50 · answer #1 · answered by TechnoMom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...just be straight forward and tell him that your married. Any decent guy would back away at that point.
I know the attention feels nice, but you need to really decide what it is your looking for. Talk to your hubby and get your marriage on the right track.
Forget about the cafe guy...he probably stops off at the deli after the cafe...if you know what I mean.
2007-02-07 12:06:49 · answer #2 · answered by marnan97 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say - I'm married and i'd like it if you just don't talk to me any more and that it's a bad idea. You should have never opened that door. Once a guy gets an eye - you know what - back, it's game on in his head. Most guys are stubborn but hopefully if he's good looking like you say, he's got options and your brush off will just put his attention elsewhere.
2007-02-07 12:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by MrCead 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good of you to respect your marriage even if you are not happy at the moment. Tell him that you are married and any man who doesn't respect that does not respect you very much. If he knows that you are married and continues isn't he really judging you to be someone with low morals?
2007-02-07 12:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by Pushrod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him thanks for the compliments but to please go elsewhere as you are married to your loving husband. tell him to hit the road and go after girls that are available. You know how to say no and mean it and walk the other way. You really need to work on your marriage and seek marriage counseling so you can be happy in your marriage again.
2007-02-07 12:05:57 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to say it straight out and very honestly. Say, "I appreciate your attention, but I'm married and don't want to do anything to comprimise that. Please stop hitting on me, it makes me uncomfortable." I know you like the attention, but you're treading in dangerous waters.
2007-02-07 12:01:42 · answer #6 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't get involved since your married i made that mistake a long time ago you'll just get your husband hurt i wasn't happy in my first marrige and i got involved cheaters gets caught and pay the price i regret having a affair
2007-02-07 12:05:01 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have said no alot of times, (guys that you were not into), so what you want to know is how to say yes.(I'm thinking). Just do it.
2007-02-07 12:13:49 · answer #8 · answered by brp_13 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him "Get away from me you freak!!!"
2007-02-07 12:03:46 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋