My son has had custody of his child for almost three yrs. and still has not filled for child support. It's not like he does'nt need the money, he does! She makes 3 times what he makes, lives alone and says she has no money to help. It takes every dollar he has to just get thru the wk. They have been without heat and food at times, and if its not for me helping, I don't know what would happen. It might sound cruel, but I have threatened to quit helping, hoping it would push him into filling. I don't know if he thinks guys don't ask for child support or what. If she were atleast trying to help, I could understand. He pays for the day-care, food, cloths , activities and all other needs. He works everyday, cooks for them,helps with homework and everything else that needs done, you'd think if she did'nt want to help financially, she could help with other things. I just don't understand!
2007-02-07
11:47:52
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20 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is his choice whether he wants to file or not. This is totally up to him and you cannot make that choice for him. If the mom had any decency at all she should already be paying some kind of money to help with the child. I give him a lot of credit for being a great dad and for taking care of the child. Most men are not like this. He is a wonderful dad and man and there should be more men like him out there. You should be very proud of your son!
2007-02-07 11:53:50
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answer #1
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answered by Lady Hewitt 6
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It's a federal law, everyone who has children is required to pay childsupport. No one is exempt and you can thank president bill clinton and hillary his wife for this law.
A person who falls behind in childsupport by $5000 can be arrested and sent to prison for criminal non support.
I'd tell him to get his butt down to the local child support office and get the papers filed immediately.
If there was a divorce decree issued then childsupport was more than likely ordered to be paid. Regardless she still is suppose to be paying not only support but half the daycare and half the medical/health insurance expense.
The rules apply to both men and women. I'd cut off the support and make him get his butt down their and do this. He's not doing those kids any favors by having them grow up under these conditions. He could use that extra money and maybe even put some of it away for the future education expense for those kids.
2007-02-07 19:57:57
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answer #2
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answered by michael_trussell 4
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Does she see them? Did he ever get a court support order and she just won't pay? Does he not want to go to court and have all that hassle? Is he afraid if he asks for child support, she'll try to take the kids? There are a lot of factors to consider. He is apparently choosing his kids over money. He should, however, look into some training or something to make more money. That's where his focus should be so he can provide better.
2007-02-07 19:55:30
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answer #3
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answered by lucki female 2
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I understand your son not wanting to file for child support, as I was in the same situation (not wanting anything from my former husband), yet I finally realized that it was not about “my” feelings, rather what was/is best for my children and their well-being. Ask your son to ask himself this question “would my child be better off if I could provide them with the basics of life i.e.: heat, food, clothing etc” which by the way is the right of every child. I am sorry to say this, but by protecting himself, he may be compromising his son’s daily needs. He sound like a wonderful father, and you should be proud! She sounds like a self centred and selfish person only out for herself, even to the point of sacrificing her childs basic needs, shameful I say!
2007-02-07 20:07:23
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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It almost sounds like theres more to this than what you know. It sounds like some kind of secret deal deal was made for him to have custody as long as he doesnt sue for child support or she will go for full custody which she probably really doesnt want for whatever reasons. Its definitely much more than his pride here especially when hes struggling to survive with his child. I really feel strongly that theres a secret pact here between the two of them to keep him from going after support, especially if youve threatened to cut him off and hes done nothing. You may never know the real reason why here which may be due to male pride.
2007-02-07 20:01:50
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answer #5
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answered by Arthur W 7
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Well I Can tell you as a man who got sole custody of both my children who were 18 months and 6 years old at the time that, for me anyway, it had NOTHING to do with pride....feeling less of a man if I did got for support ect. It came down to one thought that went through my head....as far as I was concerned my marriage and my Ex were Dead. So....if she had really died I would have had to take care of my children alone anyways. Was it easy....NO....could I have used the extra money YES. Did it affect the way my kids turned out....NO....My son who is now 21 is a Journeyman in his trade....my daughter is graduating this year and the off to collage to be a physical educator / trainer....and you know what....I am Proud of them and myself....because WE the kids and I did it and its a great feeling. So please don't be too hard on him if he wants to try and do this himself....could be he is feeling like I did....and no matter how hard it is....he can do it. Just try to be there for him and support him however you can
Best of luck....to you and him
2007-02-07 20:27:05
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answer #6
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answered by oldman 4
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I do not know why he isn't asking but he needs too
maybe because he doesn't want the mother to be around the kids
maybe as a grandmother you should check into things as to why
she will not help,track that low-life mother down and ask
she is a deadbeat mother. Your son is letting his pride effect
his children and she ask for help if not money buy some clothes for her own kids pay half on daycare something...
2007-02-07 19:57:55
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answer #7
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answered by bananasplit1744 2
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How often does the child see his mother? Maybe your son would rather NOT have to deal with her in any way, shape, or form. I agree he should take her for what the child deserves. But sometimes it's easier to stay away from issues then it is, to have to deal with them.
You may not know what this is doing to your son emotionally etc. And so much is easier said then done.
2007-02-07 20:00:27
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answer #8
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answered by SecretFriend 3
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I agree with you, he SHOULD file for child support. male or female, the childs needs comes before all of us. That mother should be paying weekly, like anyone else does.
I also dont think its any of your business.
Hes a grown man now, fully able to call and schedule the hearing for child support (or are you gonna fill out his papers too?).
2007-02-08 11:33:26
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answer #9
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answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6
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She's a loser and your son is wonderful. He's probably thinking that if he asks for child support, his child will end up "paying for it." somehow, and he's protecting his child emotionally.
2007-02-07 19:51:05
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answer #10
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answered by reddevilbloodymary 6
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