Why do people, in times of needing emotional support, turn to the ones who do nothing for them??????? for example, a low-life boyfriend over their best friend?
2007-02-07 11:28:33 · 8 answers · asked by >>Ascher<< 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sometimes we do stupid s***! Like keeping the low-life BF and dumping the best friend!!
2007-02-07 11:36:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people have come to discover that the best "support" is sometimes no support because sometimes the best-intentioned people don't know how to offer the right form of support. As a result, people may come to feel or know or believe that avoiding the stresses of inappropriate attempts to be supportive is actually more comforting than having to deal (in such a difficult time) with the effort of trying to be understood and not having to deal with well intentioned efforts that focus on, but miss the point on, the issues.
The reason some people are attractive to do-nothing, low-life, boyfriends is that they enjoy the comfort of not having some in their life who tries to get too involved or who over-steps bounds.
Do-nothing boyfriends are sometimes what makes a person feel more comfortable than boyfriends who, according to the person's "standards", try to be over-involved, over-concerned, and way too present.
There are also people who are just very independent and autonomous and who, when in a difficult situation, prefer to be left alone.
People such as what I've described above usually very much care about someone like that best friend and know the best friend means very well, but when a person would seem to be "needing emotional support" can be exactly the time when a person most wants to remain inward and deal with the situation on her own. The do-nothing boyfriends lets her do that. The well-meaning best friend is too concerned and too worried about emotional support to be able to.
2007-02-07 19:49:42 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
haven't you ever heard of the old saying, "misery loves company"........i think this is because they do not wish to hear the truth as they are not ready to change and grow emotionally and know that if they go with the low-life boyfriend, they do not have to face this. I know it is hard for the best friend not to take this personal and i am not even sure if the best friend should even stick around. But, this person is a best friend and perhaps they have to accept the friend for the friend no matter what or let them go.
I have been the "best friend" in this situation and i ended up letting that person go because honestly i was tired of seeing the friend get hurt, utimately BY CHOICE, and whining about it yet seeking the comfort of someone which could do nothing as far as helping them to move forward with their life in the matter. I could go on and on with this..............
This leads me to the question of why do people call other people a best friend if they are not able to ultimately turn to them in times of need?
2007-02-07 19:47:43 · answer #3 · answered by LM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One would think that the person they know so well would argue about what they feel. The person mostly assume that best friends would most likely give advice they don't want to hear or follow... especially when the person is already aware of the possible solution. That person would rather turn to people they're sure would only agree to whatever that person would say or complain or whine about... hence, choosing the "low-life boyfriend over their best friend". Simply put, they prefer people to just "sit and listen" and not to argue against them because they assume arguments will only add up to their problem.
^__^
2007-02-07 19:59:33 · answer #4 · answered by Mike N. D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because that is what makes them a low-life boyfriend. They build the person up in their time of need, and are a d*** the rest of the time. They make the person feel bad about themselves by being a d***, and then make that person rely on them by building them back up. It's a viscous cycle. Usually that low-life is the one that made them feel that way anyway
2007-02-07 20:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they are the people who will tell them what they want to hear rather than what they need to hear. It makes people feel better when they know there are people in worse situations and sometimes those no good people are "losers" to them.
2007-02-07 19:38:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because people dont think right when they are depressed and need emotional support.
2007-02-07 19:38:01 · answer #7 · answered by ashley b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sex.
Also, there are certain things you can talk to a guy about that maybe you don't want to tell your best friend.
2007-02-07 19:40:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋