It just comes to my natural senses that you make love to the person you love. What about swingers, what are they/you are looking for when they/you swing?
Is there something I am missing out?
2007-02-07 11:28:26 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sarah, I think you are very accurate about the statement you said ...an excuse for promiscuity.
2007-02-07 11:56:44 · update #1
Swingers are bad examples of the marital arrangement. I really think it's an excuse to be premiscuous. A poor one at that.
2007-02-07 11:54:08 · answer #1 · answered by AmandaHugNKiss 4 · 1⤊ 5⤋
First of all, this is not an activity for everyone.
The only couples that should even consider extra-curricular activities are those with a rock solid foundation.
Too often, its a matter of the man trying to talk the woman into it. You both have to be "on the same page."
It's just a matter of "experimentation" like anything else in life.
The risk is that too often feelings of jealousy arise. What you THOUGHT you wanted to see turns out to be something else than you expected.
Often, there may be performance anxiety. That sucks.
Sometimes, since everyone doesn't have adult video star bodies, feelings of self-image arise.
All kinds of problems.
That being said, if a couple feels secure enough that they want to experience sex with another couple, that's their choice.
The "risks" far outnumber the "benefits," but it can be extremely exciting and arousing.
2007-02-07 13:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never done this but I am seriously considering this option. I think it might be a little selfish to think that your spouse will be satisfied without experiencing anyone else for the rest of their married lives.
If my wife decided she wanted to experiment, no problem at all as long as she lets me do the same.
I think its a win win situation and swingers have figured this out while all those people that get divorced are kicking themselves in the rear for not being open minded.
2007-02-07 13:03:09 · answer #3 · answered by Billy Bob D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Golly gee. A lot of people on here are making some pretty strong statements about things they couldn't possibly know anything about. You don't know me. You don't know my husband or my marriage. All I can see are a lot of UNeducated guesses. Poor ones at that.
I answered this question already, as it has been asked in several categories. I just wanted to comment on the ignorance I'm seeing here. That's pretty cocky, lumping us in with liars and cheaters and such. Reminds me of Sesame Street...you know, "which one of these doesn't belong?"
Well, there's not much I can say here that will negate the sad lack of insight, because you can't change a closed mind anyway. But for any of you out there who sincerely want to KNOW and truly understand why/how we do what we do, please visit the site below. Oh, and please do a search for "cheater" or "cheating". Perhaps that will give you some idea of how cheaters/liars are viewed by the lifestyle community.
2007-02-07 15:33:43 · answer #4 · answered by intuition897 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Many people ask why is it that Marriage today is not taken
seriously and it's because there are cheaters, swingers,
liars and deceivers in a marriage, so it's just another day
in a marriage life of some people that think it's okay to do
these things. However there are those who take marriage
seriously and don't do any of the mentioned things.
Society today makes it acceptable for married couples to
do what they want but the end result is always the same,
DIVORCE.
2007-02-07 13:16:29 · answer #5 · answered by RudiA 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Swingers can be couples who love one another, they just happen to enjoy the excitement of sharing intimacy with others. As long as both partners participate, and it's a mutual situation, there typically aren't any issues. After all .. variety- is - the spice of life. ;-)
2007-02-07 11:31:44 · answer #6 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they ARE in love, they don't wanna be tied down to this "one size fits all" definition of love.
What I admire about swingers is that they KNOW they are human, they KNOW they're gonna think other people are attractive, and see no sense in hiding it. I believe that marriage should not be the same for everybody. What might work in one marriage may not work in another. If it works for them, who are we to say, "No, that's not the way things work!" At least they're not contributing to the divorce rate.
2007-02-07 11:36:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
me and my husband have been married for 11 years we have been swinging for 2 and a half we have a great sex life before and after we started swinging to be honest we are and all ways have been a 4 nights a week couple with being with each other but we do enjoy being with someone else sexually we both have very high sex drives and i am bi sexual and enjoy being with another women normally we do not swing with couples just single women and it has worked out great for us does it for all couples no we are commeted to each other love each other very much but do not live by the idea that sex=love so when we are together sexually we are loving each other but when we are with someone else it is just sex because their is no emotional attachment to that person as for are you missing something thats up to you and the kind of peron you are and the state of your relationship this life style is NOT for everyone especially if you are unhappy in your relationship then it will only cause problems so its funny but out of all my friends and family we are the only ones still married or who have people tell us you guys make us sick with how happy and loveing you are to each other so somethings working! after 11 years and 23 of knowing each other it just works for us!
2007-02-07 11:45:25 · answer #8 · answered by palmdale1025 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Swingers do love each other, successful ones that is. We make love to each other and no one else!
One common bond is that swingers are interested in exploring sexual fantasies, they are honest with themselves and others, and they tend to communicate better with their partners than the average couple.
Read about it.... educate yourself....
http://www.swingersboard.com/?swing=swingerinfo
Have fun!
2007-02-07 11:50:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
yep you make love to the person you love and fuc.k the others..I can't understand how some of you people can't seperate sex from love and can't understand how you can say that swingers are not in love or are not satisfied with each other..hello...sex is fun..so y not try different things...and love is a completely different topic. I wouldn't want anyone else there when I make love to my gf...but when we *****..hell yeah
2007-02-07 11:53:01 · answer #10 · answered by donnie b 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be fun. There's a lot of emotional issues that keep us from doing it - because once you do, you can't take it back. I want to go out to the same place with my husband separately and pick up on other people. I like the secracy that he and I would be the only one's who knew. Then we would go home and take all those feelings out on each other. He thinks he would just get jealous and feel guilty. We all have our fantasies.
2007-02-07 11:37:35 · answer #11 · answered by lucki female 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋