can someone proof read this paragraph for me thanks?

Question

Upon handling events that may interrupt plan, one must think of the quote “academic comes first”. When an event unexpectedly arises, one must consider the opportunity cost they are giving up. If one is finished with all the readings and homework, one may attend the event. However, if one is not finished with all readings and homework, one must pass up that opportunity of attending that event. If the opportunity cost is worth giving up then proceed if not, then avoid.

Answer 1

sounds ok except for the repetition of "one must/may"

Answer 2

a. Upon handling events that may interrupt existing plans, (The way you have it now, it seems like there's something missing before the word plan.)

b. quote, "Academics come first." (Maybe even putting an exclamation point instead of a period to make it sound stronger.)

c. When an event unexpectedly arises, the opportunity cost that's may be given up has to be taken into account. (This is so you don't have to repeat "one must/may" all the time.)

d. If all reading and homework are completed, (Again, not repeating "one must/may" and reading sounds funny being plural)

e. However, if there are still reading and homework to be done, (Same thing about "one")

f. If the opportunity cost is worth giving up, then proceed; if not, then avoid.

Answer 3

This is how I would have written it. Just a suggestion.

Upon MANAGING events that may interrupt a plan, you must think of the quote “academic comes first”. When an event unexpectedly arises, one must consider the COST OF GIVING THE OPPORTUNITY UP. If YOU ARE finished with all the readings and homework, YOU may attend the event. However, if YOU ARE not finished with all readings and homework, YOU must pass up THE opportunity of attending that event. If the opportunity cost is worth giving up then proceed, if not then avoid.

Answer 4

Put the word 'the' before the word 'plan' in the first sentence.

academics, not academic.

say 'the opportunity of attending that event' rather than 'that opportunity.....'.

put a semi-colon after 'proceed' in the last sentence.