Should I word a sentence in a poem like "...into my soul dampened with dullness." or should I word it like " into my dullness-dampened soul."
2007-02-07 11:25:51 · 12 answers · asked by Kate 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
the first one is way better.
The first one has a poetic beat, especially if you pause a bit after soul.
The second one's beat sounds like someone tripping over a rock.
Just my opinion.
But, you seem kinda depressed or something.
2007-02-07 11:29:02 · answer #1 · answered by PH 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the context, if you're rhyming or have a pattern going with number of syllables per line. I think your second example would sound better as "into my dull-dampened soul," but again it really depends what you're trying to achieve with the line. Hope it helps.
2007-02-07 19:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i prefer the first way. into my soul dampened with dullness sounds better to me.
2007-02-07 19:44:37 · answer #3 · answered by ~*~AmethystMoonBeams~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like dullness dampened sould because of the alliteration.
2007-02-07 19:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by Phat Kidd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first. The alliteration is too close together in the second one. Also, the adjectives are too obviously placed in the second one.
2007-02-07 19:31:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
the 1st 1
2007-02-07 19:31:57 · answer #6 · answered by Taylor 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the FIRST one, if you go with the second one its just bad alliteration. the first one is way better
2007-02-07 19:33:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the first way better.
2007-02-07 19:28:06 · answer #8 · answered by Holly S 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The second one, definately.
2007-02-07 19:28:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
the first one is more poetic and dramatic.
2007-02-07 19:33:08 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋