Coming out idea?

Question

Ok, i recently came out to my mom and a few others but still havent told my dad. The reallity of it is that my dad will deffinately freak out. So my mom came up with and idea, instead of telling him and haveing him react quickly, my mom will tell him before i go to her house for the weekend and then give him a coulpe days to think about it. my mom will tell him in a way that she says that i dont know she is telling him so that i can come out to him when i get home. Is this a good idea? i seem to think so but want some more ideas. please give me some ideas then give me your story. THANX <3

if i tell him he might not believe me so if my mom tells him he will know it is serious

Answer 1

well, i'm glad your mom is ok with it, but i think it would mean more if YOU told him. granted, he might freak out - but at least he might be able to respect the fact that YOU came to him about it.
I came out to my dad just last summer while we were in the car. that way he wasnt going to just get up and leave the room and i know he wasnt going to kick me out on the curb. it was a little shocking to him at first but he is totally fine with it now. i'm sure its a little easier being a girl (or more socially acceptable) but my dad is a rush limbaugh loving hardcore conservative - so it wasnt easy to bring it up. i just basically said 'dad, ive been dating somebody for a couple of weeks and i want you to meet... her.' he was just glad that i told him, ya know, that i didnt try to keep my life a secret from him. i wish you luck though, i was so nervous. even if he had freaked out i think i still would have felt better just to get it out there. be honest with him and straight forward. if you talk from your heart he will respect your courage.

i just read your update - maybe you could tell him with your mom there also? make it a family discussion with your mom right there by your side?

Answer 2

It seems harder for a father to take to news of a gay son or daughter. They want grandchildren to pass on the name. In time we hope that all will understand that love is love, no matter what sex, race or religion, but then what would the world have left to fight about. Just tell your dad its nothing he did, or didn't do, that your grown and these are your choices right now, and most of all, no matter what he says...tell him you love him unconditionally. Best of luck.

Answer 3

You and your mom know best. If she thinks that she knows him well enough to know that he will take it better coming from her, by all means, let her do it. It will allow him to rant and rave at her if he has a problem, and calm down by the time you see him. It may save him from saying things that he will regret later.

Answer 4

If you're comfortable with him hearing it from her at first instead of you, go with it. If you feel it's not her place, then I think that's fair, but it comes down to whatever would make you most comfortable.