Depressed and Afraid?

Question

I am 17 and am extemely anti-social. No matter how much I want to socialize I just can't do it. It's not that I'm afraid it's just that I simply can't and still make it natural. I am becoming extremely depressed from spending every day at home on my computer or PS3. I have tried an long distance relationship but that has let me down. See other question. I have no social life and am pretty much an outcast. I am overweight and have never found the initiative to control it. I just want a friend and a romantic relationship but I just can't count on people, they always let me down. I love my mother but as of now she is the only person in the world that I trust. Please, I need some advice, I'm on Zoloft and do counciling but none of it works. I am extremely depressed and I am afraid of what I might do tonight.

Answer 1

im going through the same thing. there's really nothing that helps completely but the thing that helps me the most is just finding something i like to do and completely getting lost in it. it helps pass time and it takes your mind off of things a little. this may not help you but its the best advice i can give.

Answer 2

DON'T KILL THYSELF

As a undone suicidal, I know that because you asked, your brain is screaming "Help! I don't wanna frigging die!"

To feel less depressed and become more social:

1. Screw being at home. Get out of the house.
2. Talk to people for a while. If you share something in common, it dosen't matter if your good or not, it will be natural. Saying you can't make it natural means you're feeling pressured to look cool. Screw that. I am a serious wierdo (I'm schitzo, even) and because I took a positive outlook I'm now uber-popular, just not preppy.
3. Get involved in anything you like. Join clubs, go to conventions, meet people.
4. As for a romantic relationship, there's not much I can do, but you just wait. One day you'll find an awesome guy/girl, and one way or another you'll get 2gether.
5. Email me at [e-mail]. I will totally support you and give you advice and even listen to you ***** and moan on how sucky your life is-belive me it helps.

6. Make a list of people who might still care. I mean really, have you no family?
7. Call one of these people and talk, talk, talk, talk.
8. As for trust, let go of that paranoia. You don't trust people automatically, give it a few weeks.
9. I'm overweight, too. Unless you weigh like 550+ pounds you're not in serious danger, all those "studies" are ttly fake.
10. DON'T EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER KILL YOUSELF. It's a stupid thing 2 do.

Answer 3

It sounds like the Zoloft and the therapy are not working for you. It's time to call your psychiatrist or whomever prescribes your Zoloft and tell them that you are feeling very depressed and isolated. It is very common when you are depressed to become isolated and to feel as though you just can't fit in with everybody else. Your entire perception of the world and life can be distorted because your brain isn't functioning normally.

It's not uncommon to have trust issues when you have depression, especially if people have let you down in the past. My suggestion to you is to be more proactive on getting help that works. If your therapist isn't the right one, look for another one. If your medication isn't being helpful then ask about trying something different. Chances are you won't find the right medication the first time around. Sometimes you have to be on higher dosages or even combinations of meds to get a good result. Sometimes they don't work for some people. Every body is different.

You need to work on feeling better, then start trying to take some small steps with socializing. It won't happen instantly.

I have had depression and anxiety since childhood and it took me a long time to adapt to the outside world. I didn't have a mother I could count on so be glad that you have a supportive parent...

Good luck....

Answer 4

I feel ya man. I'm 17 too, and I've been there, and completely understand the feeling of just wanting one trustworthy friend and a romance. For now, just try and conquer the friends situation.

I don't know where you go to high school (public or private...etc.) but I'm guessing there are some clubs at your school, or if not clubs, groups that have particular interests. What are your interests? Try and join a group of club that caters to your interests, and then you'll have an easy conversation piece with these people because you can talk about whatever you're doing, and know that they won't reject you. If you're looking for one "true" friend, he/she probably won't appear instentaneously, but if you start slow, join some club or activity, find people with a single common interest, then maybe one day you might meet someone where it clicks.

When you find a friend who you would consider hanging out with outside of the "school" environment, invite him to the movies, or some other activity where the focus is really on the activity. Going out on a Friday night, as opposed to staying home, and and seeing a movie with a friend, even if you go home right after that, will give you a great feeling of confidence and progress. Take things step by step.

I am not overweight, but I do workout and have struggled with motivation, so my best advice to you is to go online, find an e-book on losing fat and building muscle (I'll include a link at the end of the page) buy it if you can (or just subscribe to the free newsletters and options), and then apply it. When you see all of this knowledge in front of you, told by people who often started in a similar situation, it is comforting. By a body fat % caliper to take measurments, and mark your progress weekly to keep yourself motivated (even if the changes are not obvious in the mirror).

I hope this helps...here are a few links which I have visited and found helpful to varying degrees. One link is a website created by a college student who battled and overcame extreme shyness in his teens, and in his articles he phrases things in way where you say, "that's exactly what I was thinking at that moment."

Answer 5

Let me tell you something that may be way out in right field but it did pop into my head. I hope you won't mind me sharing it with you. Just a suggestion, so take it or leave it. Anyway, have you given any thought to getting involved behind the scenes in community theatre or even plays put on by your school. There's a lot of great stuff you can do like helping out building sets, moving props around, lighting, etc. None of these involve any acting skills or memorizing lines. But guess what? You lose yourself in the activity and more importantly, you find a group of people that need you and would be glad to have you on board. In this kind of setting you'll naturally find people to hang with. Don't worry about the romance part for now. Believe me, it's not all it is cracked up to be. Anyway dude, give the theatre thing a shot. You just might really take to it. And remember, you the man!

Answer 6

Probably what I can tell you, you have already heard but you don't really believe that you can do it. It scares me that you are on medication at such a young age. This will sound trite but until you love yourself how can anyone else. You can't demand either of yourself or anyone else a relationship. They are developed hopefully with mutual respect. Look around you at all the misery and suffering that other people have to deal with and then find someway that you can help. What you do is who you are. Not what you think. So try to do good and the rest will follow. If things don't occur with the speed that you demand, it doesn't mean they won't eventually. Keep busy and think about someone besides yourself. It will help.

Answer 7

You need to go out and meet people and don't worry about your appearence- just be yourself! You have to be a friend before you can make a friend! The best relationships usually start out as a friendship. Maybe you should consider joining a gym or physical fitness center- you could kill two birds w/ one stone! Start acting on your weight problem and start meeting new people! Don't go out and just expect to be able to count on everyone you meet- you have to learn trust and in order to do that you also have to earn trust, just don't do anything dumb tonight- see if your mom would like to go see a movie or go for a burger! Even if you take up walking to get yourself out of the house would be good for you- it is a proven fact that walking helps a person who is depressedthe fresh air and the excercise will both do you and your mind good!

Answer 8

What would you tell somebody in the same situation?
I would suggest taking your own advice.

Crisis situations are rough. It is hard to keep a positive attitude, but you must. You need to be a positive role model for others. Most of us are lazy too. It is difficult to not be lazy or afraid. Those that are not lazy or afraid are my role models and they deserve the utmost respect.

When you see a movie, what would you rather see, some guy that triumphs over all adversity, or some guy that just gives up?

I think you should push yourself to go the extra mile. When you start accomplishing little things, they add up. Sooner or later, you will start to accomplish much greater things.

Never Give Up. Never Surrender.

Answer 9

I am the exact same with my escape being books. I have absolutely no advice to give except for to know that others are out there. I wanted to commit suicide last year when I found websites devoted to just introverts. It gave me a boost and I started looking out at the world a little more. I know it can be hard getting out since most people just won't shut up, but even going to places without people can help. In the deepest part of our library I met a boy who happened to be reading one of my favorite authors. I also made up a list of everything in life that I loved, even though at that point it was only little things. Just making the list made me feel better.

Answer 10

Often, things don't seem natural when you first try it. The fact is you need to interact more outside the virtual environment. Over time, interactions will feel more "natural".

Also, if you take the approach that you can't trust anyone , in the end you may create a self-fulfilling prophecy. I know it sounds cliche-ish, but think about using the power of "positive thinking" and try to think less about what you think are your faults or the faults of those around you.