I do love my husband, but I'm in tears right now. I don't think in 4 years of us being together he has ever made a sexual move on me and I now get rebuffed. He works away from home alot. I miss romance - and I'm so worried about never having 'the first kiss' again - I'd like it with him but just the fact it will never happen is making me cry now. I feel so bored, neglected, lonely, isolated - is this marriage?
2007-02-07 11:00:32 · 19 answers · asked by Madam Rosmerta 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I love my husband. But goddammit. I'm so lonely, bored, barren and not understanding at the moment why I'm sitting here alone, whilst he is away 3 days a week (at his Mums' I must add) I'm sorry - if a guy walked up to me in the street and said 'gosh, your wonderful - kiss me now you enigmatic, wonderous women.... I'd snog him (despite him being a catherine cookson charactor!!!)
2007-02-07 11:24:45 · update #1
honey im right there with you...im not married yet but ive got the engagement ring...and it just hit me the other day that im never going to have another first kiss again. he has also never made the first move sex wise either. once we are at it, he love it, its obvious but it would be nice to get ambushed once and a while. we arent sure what to do but we're going to start by getting a hotel room for the weekend just for a change of pace. id start by letting him know how you feel. i know it might not seem like it will help, but i know i definatly have been breathing a little bit easier since i told him how i was feeling. if you keep this bottled up, your never going to have a chance to work it out. sorry if this was a little long winded, i just wanted to show you im in a similar situation.
2007-02-07 11:07:49 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him away for good and look for another one after the divorce. This is not marriage so let mom have him back 7 days a week. You can not always make it work and it will take its toll on you. He should be home with you his wife if his mom needs him then you should be able to go to or let her stay with you. If you want to keep him then put on something sexy under your other clothes and on the night he is there tie him up and keep him up all night long strutting around and rape him as many times as you like. You have the right let him know how you feel-Divorce or a change of the way things are. You could always buy a nice whip! (Honest don't get too violent)
2007-02-07 19:27:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe in the 3 year each. Everyone i have discussed this with, including my own experience, is that the 3rd year is the hardest. You need to figure out if all these feelings are because you miss him, or if it is that something is missing from your marriage. And the first kiss thing, yeah its exciting, but i made a list for my husband of little things that would thrill me and i had on the list that perfect movie kiss. And out of the blue on day i got it. May not be a first, but when you get a kiss you arent use to getting it counts. Try making a list and tell him to do the same for you. He may be feeling the same way.
2007-02-07 19:11:15 · answer #3 · answered by lovebeans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to yourself first off and remember your vows. Once you put your faith in that "the first kiss again" mess you are on the road to something really bad if the opportunity arose.
And just like most, it's usually with the addiction and not the individual who can be a complete loser, but you got your fix..your high.
You guys need counseling now...this can get ugly if you guys do nothing about it now. You guys just need to come clean and recharge your relationship. marriage is HARDER not easier.
It's when one person thinks they are supposed to be happier is when marriages fall apart. You keep yourself happy. It's too much of a load for another human to keep you and him/her happy. You probably are stressing poor dude out and he's shut down man.
Once someone shuts down....EVERYTHING shuts down.
Go to counseling. That greener pastures crap when there really is nothing major wrong and your ready to bail is for the birds. Someone needs to take charge. Let it be you.
2007-02-07 19:32:30 · answer #4 · answered by The Internet Is Yours 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I used to have the same problem. Turns out he was ashamed of a few things, and it had nothing to do with me. He was just insecure. We have now been married 7 years. He has been getting couseling and talks about sex all the time. What a turn around. In the beginning I had to practically beg him to make love to me. Its a very degrading feeling. I would say, there are some other issues you guys need to work through. Good luck to you both.
2007-02-07 19:07:14 · answer #5 · answered by angie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is something that peoplealways get into half preparerd!! You've been married for three years and sexually he has not made a move!!! The vows stated for better or for worse!! So know you want out!! Marriage is a commitment and a decision to maitain everyday!! I have a saying anyone (man or woman) can get married but it takes a real (man or woman) to make it work!!
2007-02-07 19:27:22 · answer #6 · answered by sexychocolatecity21 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no that is not marriage especially after only 4 years together. He needs a spanking! j/k. Tell him this, be honest and if the tears flow, so be it, let him know where you stand, he has to know so he has the power to change it before you do something you will regret forever. Give him the opportunity to change things, its only fair. I hope the very best for you!
2007-02-07 19:28:26 · answer #7 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he wants his head examining you will have to confront him though as some obvious thoughts immediately went through my head, is he being unfaithful to you? no matter what the answer good or bad it will let you either save your marriage or eventually move on and find someone worthy of you take care
2007-02-07 19:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by grahamralph2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband and tell him how you are feeling and why. See if there is something you can do to save and work on this marriage before it gets worse and fall apart. You need to find out why he is treating you this way. Seek counseling and help for you and for your marriage. I sure hope things get better for you and for your marriage soon.
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://www.drphil.com
2007-02-07 19:14:31 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is my dear, yes it is. In my marriage my wife rarelly the instigator, And right now I can't even remember the last time we had sex. Fortunatelly there is always something that can be done. When you find out what that is I would appreciate if you would let me know. Hopefully before we get a divorce.
2007-02-07 19:07:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋