A close friend has been asked to sign one and is devastated.
Please share your thoughts on this subject.
2007-02-07 10:59:12 · 9 answers · asked by Silva 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am currently single, but when I do get married down the line, my assets will probably be in the 10s of millions (USD). And I've earned ALL my money on my own through hard work.
So, I can completely understand why someone with A LOT more assets than their significant other would want some sort of financial protection... a divorce would litterally cost me millions without a prenup!
Personally tho, I say F-it. I like to think of marriage as more than a financial union. If you think you might get divorced, you really are doomed from the beginning. A prenup is NOT like car insurance. Divorce is NOT an accident.
If you end up divorcing, then lesson learned, make sure to get a pre-nup the next time around if you do re-marry... you'll still have half your stuff, you're not gonna starve...
I just feel there's so much more to life than money. You're not taking your money with you when you die. Life is about sharing and building relationships with other people, and I think marriage is the most important relationship you can foster.
Maybe I'm a traditionalist. Maybe I wanna be like my parents (married 27 years, argue all the time, but couldn't live without each other). Or maybe I'm just a naive and hopeless romantic.
Whatever the case may be, tell your friend not to sign it if she doesn't want to. Maybe she just thinks like me...
2007-02-08 03:12:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is very smart. A good prenuptial agreement can be very benefical to both individuals. They can be set up anyway the couple sees fit. I would advise her to have her own independent lawyer view it and advise her before she signs it though. If there is anything the lawyer sees as something she should look out for the agreement can be modified if it is O.K. with her soon to be husband. A prenuptial agreement should be looked at the same way we view insurance - you hope you never need it but in the case that you do you'll be glad it was prepared and decided upon ahead of time.
2007-02-07 19:36:13 · answer #2 · answered by mailersky 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a plan to fail. You can't put unrealistic rules on a relationship and expect happiness. He obviously cares more about his well - being than your friend's lifelong commitment (just my opinion, i don't know him to judge him that way). What is the value of marriage then? Don't get married and just live together and no one risks losing anything financially. Adults are supposed own up to their mistakes and accept the consequences for their actions. We live in a society where we have to sign waivers of liability to go to the museum or be treated in a hospital. What's next? We have to sign a document to relieve Starbucks of any liability before we can purchase a cup of iced coffee?
Commitment - means to put everything on the line. it's a risk. Your friend obviously feels the same way i do. You should let her work this out on her own, she's the one who's taking the risk with her emotions.
2007-02-07 19:59:54 · answer #3 · answered by MrCead 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She shouldn't be. A pre-nup is a practical thing, not an emotional one. She shouldn't sign right away, she needs to get her own attorney, and have him look over it to make sure that everything is fair.
My husband and I are VERY practical people. We looked into getting a pre-nup before we got married, but after consulting a lawyer we found out that everything we wanted to put in there is already covered under the state's divorce laws. So, we dropped the idea. He was very honest with me about his concerns, I was honest about mine, and we discussed everything in detail. I mean, we love each other and stuff, but we're not gonna sit there and say - "oh, we're never gonna get divorced, it's not gonna happen to US". It might, who knows. No one who's getting married thinks they're gonna get divorced - and yet 50% of people do. There's nothing wrong in looking at things realistically and practically. Sounds like your friend is still in a naive and idealistic mode, perhaps she's simply not ready to be married. Tell her to get a grip, get a lawyer and sign the damn thing - or look for a guy as starry-eyed as she is, and with no money or assets to protect.
2007-02-07 19:08:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if there's property involved, and children involved, it's entirely appropriate to sign a prenuptual agreement. Actually, even without property and children it's probably a good idea to get things spelled out prior to the marriage. So, I guess I don't see anything wrong with them. And I've been married for 19 years.
2007-02-07 19:08:35 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I'm a little close to this sort of situation. Personally, I feel that prenups show a lack of trust. You are saying "We will be together for all our lives...BUT...if we aren't then..." That shows a lack of trusting that you really will stay together.
On the other hand, my wife's father has been raked across the coals twice. His second marriage ended in his ex cleaning house, and not in a french maid outfit or with a vacuum. His third marriage also ended with his ex cleaning him out. I would suggest to him that he sign a prenup if he gets married again.
As for your friend, tell them that it could be that the person they are with has had very bad experiences and can not help but cover their backside. That it isn't a lack of trust in your friend...it is a lack of trust in general due to past circumstances.
2007-02-07 19:09:40 · answer #6 · answered by Guvo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If one person is so to say well off, and the other is not, the there could be a question as to the lesser party wanting to get ahead. If its real love then agreeing to assets based after the marriage should not be a problem. If there is no asserts involved prior to the marriage then why bother.
2007-02-08 20:27:23 · answer #7 · answered by robug 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the situation. If someone has tremendous assets that have been part of a long family trust and they have children from a previous marriage etc. then I think it is very acceptable and perhaps even smart....one never knows what can happen and the previous heirs and the family trust must be preserved.....
2007-02-07 19:03:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess it's OK for those who think they need them.... as for me I wouldn't be "Mrs." right now if my husband had asked me to sign one!
2007-02-07 19:07:41 · answer #9 · answered by Princess Veronica's Mom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋