Married for 10 years. How can I put the sparka spark back in our marriage?

Question

I want it so he wants me all the time, where we have our spark back. Men and Ladies, HOW DO I DO THIS??

I am losing weight and becoming fit, I am working full-time and make $35,000 a year, I am hiring a housekeeper so I don't have to spend all my time in the house cleaning, I am going back to school for my bachelors, and I am pretty cute too.

How can I ad that something back into this very dry marriage? Be honest and forthright cause I am at my wits end. HELP???

Answer 1

buy a very young perfume, like hollister. buy the same, but of course cologne for him... then dress and show cleavage, and wear heavy smokey makeup. HAVE FUN!!

Answer 2

You guys need to spend time together again. You know, like back before you were married and living together. They call it DATING. You'll probably have to get the ball rolling (no pun intended) but plan an evening out for the 2 of you. Or, better yet, plan it at home (assuming you don't have kids or they can be sent elsewhere for the evening). Buy some sexy lingerie (yes, guys love that stuff--that's why they watch the Victorias Secret fashion show). Wear the sexy lingerie on this date, under your clothes. Flirt with him like you did before you guys were married. Maybe even stay in a hotel overnight. Or, for a few hours....LOL

Then, do this at least once a week. It won't take long before he'll jump on board (again, no pun intended). It just takes alot of work to keep a marriage going. Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

Try new things in the bedroom. Remember what it was like to dress provo and lean down in front of him when dating to see him squirm? hee hee
Pull off on the side of the road for a quicky after getting him worked up coming home. It doesnt have to be in the bedroom just because you have one.
Wear a dress to dinner without undies and make sure he knows u dont have any on at some point during dinner.
Its all about keeping him interested. You gotta get creative.
Introduce toys if you are into that kind of thing.
After 10 years, u gotta be creative.
But, its well worth it when u see that spark in him that u havent seen in years.
Good luck and let it all go and have some fun!!!!

Answer 4

Working full time, fitness, and going back to school; thats a lot of activity. You may be able to spark your marriage better by spending more time with each other. My marriage was similar, we both worked 50+ hours a week. It got bad, we were intimate only 5 times last year. Now we schedule dates for us two

Answer 5

It seems you are doing what you can in your part to warm up your relationship. But it doesn't have to be only you, nor will it be sufficient. Relationship is a mutual thing. You try your part, then he has to try your part. And if both of you want each other, then you have the spark. I mean what else do you want. He wants you right? and you want him right?...I am sure with you being fitter you will rekindle the sex life. But marriage is not all about sex. It is about the things you are doing right now for him. you are trying to improve your financial status, you are eliminating the number 1 cause of divorce----financial issues. you are also avoiding the other problem---sexual issues.
Honey , I do believe you have a bright future. What is he doing to lighten up the marriage? as I said it takes both of you not only you nor him....it is a duet thing.
I hope God will Bless your marriage.
Good Luck

Answer 6

I would spice up your love life. You (purposefully and not telling him) could both pass by a sex store and suggest to go in the see what new in this day and age. You could pick up some sex games, books on romantic ideas, Introduce some toys, get a video on sexual positions, better yet buy the kamasutra, videos for lovers (no hardcore), go to a expo or something having to do with sex (we have one here in toronto every year), start role playing, surprise him one day and just jump his bones for no reason at all. Just grab him and start taking his clothes off. If he says something you tell him to shut the f... up and don't move. These are just some thoughts.

Answer 7

you could try:
-role playing/dress up eg. naughty nurse, school girl, cheer leader
-flirting with him
-sending him naughty pictures of you ( you can use a digital camera or your cell phone with a mirror )
-leaving him naughty notes
-naughty text messages on your cell phone or email (be careful to get the right address!)
-love making in different rooms
-pick up a book with suggestions, book mark a few you'd like to try and leave it where he can find it
-let him think that you think about sex with him often
-casually touch him when you're talking to him
-put a little heat in your eyes when you look at him

And also, if he thinks that you want him all the time, he will begin to think of you the same way. Your self confiddence will attract him the most. You are beautiful, you are sexy, you are hot! Now don't you forget that!

Answer 8

Well, after 10 years together you now best what he likes. But, everyone has secret fantasies. Maybe not sexual even but like he has always wanted you to do something for him. For example, like pack his lunch, spray your perfume in his breif case, leave him little notes all over the house telling him what he can do for or to you. Take pictures of your self sence you are working out. Ask him what you can do or suprise him. You need to communicate, but for you to have made it through 10 years i'm sure you already know that. Good luck.

Answer 9

You will have to work at it every day.
Think back to when you first met and how you felt. Think of all those little things that made your insides turn and twist.
You need to get that state of mind back by doing this your actions will also show it.
do something new together and and just do simple silly things like hold his hand and get that spark in your eye with that little smile that you had when you first met.
Good Luck

Answer 10

It's not about "things', it's not about "places", or what you do for a living, how much you make, how you look, how much you weigh or any of that. It's all about ATTITUDE.

You will find it in how you look at him, how you think of him, how you approach him. And it also will not be in how you did it 10 years ago but in a totally new way. You are different people now and it will take a different way.

Try on different feelings, different attitudes. Play with it. Flirt with him, be open, be generous, be kind, be loving. Also know that you need not be so careful anymore. Be bold. He is your husband.

Answer 11

It sounds like you're already trying pretty hard to mke something of yourself and he isn't even noticing. I would try dressing very differently than you are now, sexier and more noticable. Wear a different scent. Flirt with him every chance you get and if that doesn't work, try going out with the girls dressed to kill and see if you canmake him sit up and take notice.