my boyriend is nearly 30 and stays with me most of the time, but he wont actually move out. i cant respect a 30 year old still technically living with his parents - i dont knwo what to do with this!
2007-02-07 10:45:17 · 19 answers · asked by kittencreznor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and yes i am a chick, who is 25 and has lived alone for years, this is why i just cant understand!
2007-02-07 10:58:47 · update #1
He is WAY too attached to mommy and daddy, I would never date a guy that still lived at home. Imagine if you married him his parents would be in your business all the time because of his attachment to them. Even if they are good people that you like. You need time alone for a while, without them. Have you ever watched Everybody Loves Raymond?
2007-02-07 10:49:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately I don't think this is a good sign. The only time I think it is O.K. is if it is cultural or he is saving to buy a home. Otherwise it shows he wants to be taken care of, is afraid to be a responsible adult, possibly afraid to be alone, can't manage money, does not make enough money to support himself or that his parents still have a lot of control over him and they don't want to be alone. I know it is traditional in many Asian and Hispanic households for the children to live at home until they are married. These are just some points to consider. Why are you letting him stay with you ? I think that if he wasn't able to stay with you he might be more motivated to get his own place. Now he has you and his parents taking care of him - not good. He needs to show you and himself that he can be responsible and take care of himself financially as well as routine daily chores. My fiance had his own place before we moved in together which was good because I knew he had the responsibility of paying bills, cleaning up after himself etc.
2007-02-07 12:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you know it or not this is a growing trend among the 20-35 age group. I know it sounds wierd but it's a fact. Recently my Girlfriends 25 year old daughter has returned home to live. This is the 2nd time since she graduated high school and even though she has a very good job, she show's no signs of leaving anytime soon.
I'd have a sitdown chat with him if i were you and get to the bottom of this situation. tell him how you feel about this situation and see if the two of you will be able to figure something out on this.
2007-02-07 11:00:29 · answer #3 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your bf has a job and is helping his parents out on
home expenses and helps around the house, then it's not
un-heard of as maybe he has had bad luck with other
women in his life or maybe his parents want him to be
near to help them out, who knows. If on the other hand
he is like our neighbor's son who lives with his parents
doesn't have a job and never helps around the house and
just leaches off his parents, then that is a complete diff-
erent story. You may have lived alone for years as you
are self independent, and can live with that which is good
Talk to your bf and if and when you do want him to move
out and live with you then make sure he is a responsible
person that will help you out in expenses and if you see
that he is ir-responsible then you need to keep on being
self independent and go on your way as you do not need
a man in your life that you will not be happy with because
of the way he is. Good luck.
2007-02-07 13:28:05 · answer #4 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 31 and I can not see myself dating a man that still lives with mom and dad. How do you respect someone that does not have the maturity to support himself. If you are able to hold down a stable enviroment then why should he be the exception. I bet if you told him that he had to make a choice of getting his own place or ending your relationship...I bet he would offer to move in with you. Then if you said no he would let you go. He is to immature for an adult relationship with adult responsiblities.
2007-02-07 11:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't read too much into it. My fiance' is 43 and has lived with his mother for the last 12 years. He went through an emotional divorce and was a wreck. He credits his mother with bringing him back to reality, and he feels a certain connection to her. I don't think he is a mamma's boy, he just need the security and assurity.
2007-02-07 13:12:16 · answer #6 · answered by Special K 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What do I call a 30 year old man who still lives with his parents? A loser, that's what I call him. Here's a man who will not even support himself, and is content to freeload off his parents (who for some undefinable reason allow him to do this.). If I were you, I would dump him, because you take this relationship any further, he might move out of his parents house, and right into yours, and then proceed to freeload off of you. Let the guy support himself and BE A MAN for awhile, THEN see what happens. I would run very, very fast from this one!
2007-02-07 10:52:04 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
talk with him and ask why he has not gone out on his own.could be hes saving for a house,or just too comfortable to leave. does he seem mature too you?can he come and go as he pleases without family problems?only you can find the answers you seek.talk to his family too that will tell you allot.could be hes lazy gets everything done for him so he figures he will stay till something better comes his way.good luck
2007-02-07 11:20:25 · answer #8 · answered by zachsgrammy1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked about it with him? This is the 1st step. The last one may be breaking up if you find that his reasons for staying with his parents indicate a lack of character
2007-02-07 10:57:53 · answer #9 · answered by babydoll 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may be a bit immature, if he is still living with the parents he may feel comfortable there and like being taken care of. maybe he sees no reason to move out until he is married.
2007-02-07 10:49:08 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋