i need help please from any teen mothers or mothers themselves!!?

Question

i am 17 years old almost 18 and will be done with school soon. me and my fiance are wanting to concieve we know we are ready in every way... but then again im not sure... what do u think?

Answer 1

If you really want to talk to somebody who has been there, done that, instant message me at [e-mail] There are so many things I could tell you, but it would take too long, and I dont know your exact situation. I would be happy to help in any way, and give you honest adivce and opinions, which is hard to get from some people. I know how you feel. My daughter is now 2 years old. I now have a 19 year old friend who is in the same position you are. I'd be happy to chat with you about it. God bless.

Answer 2

I got pregnant at almost exactly at your age--don't do it. You think you are ready, but you most likely are not. I am almost 36 now, and looking back realize I was not ready at all. I had a child at 18, 20, and 32--things were soooo much easier at 32, and I was so much more ready. My suggestion is to first live together, and see how things go. Once that is going smoothly, get a puppy--that will give you an idea how much work it can be--if that goes smoothly--expect around 10x harder conditions with a baby, and go for it. Also make sure that financially you can support the baby, and realize that it can never be taken back--parenthood. Although I love me older sons to death, there is so much different I would do if I knew the things I know now. Number one would be to get a college degree, or some type of job schooling first, so my child would have had everything in the world, not just hand me downs and a childhood of struggling to make ends meet. I am in a great marriage now, and look at how much more my younger child has had, and feel somewhat guilty that my older boys did not have the same things he does. Parenthood is a wonderful experience that I hope you someday experience, but I really hope you will wait, and experience life before being tied down with a child. Everything in your life will change, and like I said before, there is no going back once you make the decision. Good Luck!

Answer 3

I am 22 years old, and i am VERY much against teen pregnancy, and getting pregnant before being ready, in general, no matter what age you are. I graduated high school in 2003, since then, more than half of the girls I graduated with have babies, only about 1/3 of them are still with the baby's father or married to their fathers. the other half of the girls with babies, their parents are raising the grandchild while the mother is out partying, etc. I got pregnant by accident when I was 20, (Birth control pill accident) I was happy because I've been with my boyfriend (back then it was only 2 and a half years,) 4 years, now. we were planning on moving in together before I got pregnant, and we were both financially ready for a baby, both of us have good jobs, etc. I had a misscarriage, and had to have surgery, which Insurance didn't cover all the way. I now owe the hospital over 10,000$ because I got pregnant. Ask yourself these questions...if you cant say yes to all of them, then you're not ready: Are you financially and emotionally stable enough to deal with something tramatic in your pregnancy? I was 20 and I wasn't, so at 17-18 years old being in high school I can't imagine that you would be either. Do you have GOOD health insurance? Do you know how your fiance would treat the child, like disapline, etc. Can you take care of the baby without having to rely on someone else like your parents, his parents, all the time? Have you done everything in your life, for yourself, that you've wanted to do?
I am still with the same guy, and we're talking about getting married. If I would have had the baby that I lost, as much as i would have loved that baby and as much as I was happy I was pregnant and happy with the whole situation in general, my life would not be what it is now (everything happens for a reason they say) and i would not have had the great opertunities that I have had in my life, if I had a child. Enjoy your life with your man right now. Get married, have a blast at your wedding, maybe go to college if that's what you want, make sure your marriage is going to last, then have babies. My grandmother always says to me, the expression "go sew your wild oats...." whatever that means, she's trying to tell me to be young and have fun with my life until I am ready to settle down.

Answer 4

I really think every child DESERVES to be born into a loving 2-parent home. Having a child is a monumental decision. It is absolutely life-changing. It will stretch you beyond any limits you can ever imagine and then some. And it is the most beautiful experience in the world too. I look at my children and my heart nearly breaks from the love I feel for them.

Remember that children are whole new ppl. And for the first part of their lives, they depend on you completely. You must not only care for, nourish, protect, and love them, you shape the ppl they will grow to be. You will, in large part, shape the world of the future by shaping these tiny beings. SOmetimes the responsibility terrifies me!

I don't think anybody can put a specific age on maturity. Many years ago, it was normal to have babies at 18 and even younger. Now, it is more culturally acceptable to wait...and w/ good reason. The vast majority of 18 year olds today are still finding their own place in the world. Raising a child is tremendously more difficult when you are still forming yourself.

I recommend waiting and thinking a great deal about what you would want for your children. What kind of life would you want to give them and what kind of parent would you want to be? Do you have that now or will it take a little more time and preparation? Think carefully, b/c the life you bring into the world is your responsibility and it is a huge one.

Answer 5

You are NOT ready!

1) You're almost 18. YOU ARE STILL A BABY! I had a baby young, and although I love my son dearly, I also know that it is a tough road. At 18 you aren't emotionally or financially ready to have a child. Where will you live? How will you pay bills? What about college?

2) You may think you're ready to concieve, but you're not. Who's insurance will you be on? Your parents' won't support a new grandchild. Birth alone will cost you AT MINIMUM $400 upfront. That's just the birth. What would pediatric care? What is something happens?

3) Wait 4 years, get through college, then get married. THEN after a few years of surviving marriage, have a kid. Don't jump marriage for a kid. YOU NEED a strong relationship to survive a kid. Don't believe? Talk to anyone who was married before the age of 20 AND had a kid. It's tough.

Answer 6

Oh, please.. listen carefully. You are way too young and unstable to consider this. Yes, you may be in love and think that this is the best way to keep it together, but honestly it may tear things apart. Give yourselves some time. Be a couple. Get married. Have fun. Get a career, a house, save some money and then consider children. I have 3 children. I had one at age 20, one at 22 and the other at 32. I am a MUCH better mother to my youngest, because I am more mature and able to handle life itself. I made a lot of mistakes and I would not change my children for the world, but I would NOT recommend having children at such a young age. Really think about this before you make the same mistakes I did.

Answer 7

make sure you both have jobs and have money and a place..it maybe a bit early cause you still need alot of things. To have children is a lifetime thing and alot of things to need. Do you want children right away..work for a bit cause there maybe things you want to do but after having children it take alot of things away that you can't do that you wish you did. I got married the first time around and started my kids right away. Well there was alot of things i wanted to do before having kids and i missed out a lot..so before you do give it a bit more thinking. You maybe ready..but maybe deep down your not really.
Once you have a baby there is no turning back. If you don't have a job or home it will be hard to raise that child. But it is also not a good way for you to live on social severs or welfare

Answer 8

I personally think you should wait until after you two get married or have lived together for awhile if you aren't doing so now. My husband and I wanted a baby almost immediately after we got married. I'm 22 now and he's 23, I was 20 when we were married. It actually ended up taking us over a year to finally conceive. As much as I wanted it then, I am so thankful that we never got pregnant until later. I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant. And as excited as I am to have this baby, I am so thankful that my husband and I had a good 2 years to enjoy each other, our marriage and to be able to get up and go out without having to worry about a babysitter. It made our relationship that much stronger so that we can pass all that love on to our little one. But never solely rely on your financial situation when deciding to conceive because no matter how much you think you are covered, you are never fully ready for the financial responsibility but nothing can make you want to give up extra expenditures more.

Answer 9

Well since you said fiance, your not married yet. Which I'm not saying should be a requirement. But babies take up all of your time and can strain your relationship with your spouse. That is why is sometimes good to have a year or two with your spouse/boyfriend/fiance where you get to know each other and be with one another. The first year in marriage is always the hardest. You have to get used to each other's habits and schedules. Also it is important to be financially stable. Do you have enough money to pay for bills, groceries, house payment, car payment and etc... and after each paycheck do you have enough to buy diapers, formula, milk, diaper wipes, I mean you can be ready between the both of you but you have to think of all the responsibilities. Are you going to be a stay at home mom, are you going to continue to work, if you do continue to work do you have enough to pay your share of bills plus daycare? If you stay at home is he going to make enough for both of you. I think you should make a pro and con list for both staying at home and working.. then a list for having a baby now or waiting another year or two. You don't have to rush into anything. But if you both feel like your ready to have a baby.. then go for it.. no one can tell you no you can't. Goodluck and I hope everything works out for you

Answer 10

I am 23 and I have 3 children I had my first at 18. I love my kids and I am glad they are here however I wish I had them later. I lost my teen years and it's sad when i look back. Right now I should have a job or be doing 23 year old things however I am changing diapers and taking my daughter to school every morning. I think you should wait you two should have fun right now and in a few years see if you still want to have children.