The computer is in our room and he has been checking it site while we are home. The bedrooms are upstairs, so he does this while the rest of us are watching tv or dinner around. I found the websites by accident while entering in www.anything it brought up entries that have been put in. SO I went thru www.a www.b and there was hundreds! I have McAfee on there and he is suppose to sign in under his name to prevent this, but of course he doesn't. My husband yelled at him about it, than had a talk with him. My husband is telling me boys will be boys, he is 14 & is curious. He knows that I know and avoided me yesterday. I plan on talking to him about it tonight. What do I say....
2007-02-07 09:48:29 · 7 answers · asked by Lisa P 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Talking about sex when you're 14 is extremely difficult...unless you are 14 and your audience is 14. He will be concerned that he doesn't know much and is ashamed to admit his ignorance, that he believes he knows more than you and will be ashamed to admit it, that he is uncomfortable talking about sex with a woman, that he is uncomfortable talking about sex with his mother, etc., etc. So, you might try approaching the subject as you asking for his advice to pass on to the mother of another 14 year old boy. In other words, you ask him for advice about what you can way to another mother who is worried about her son watching pron on the internet. What advice would he give? Does he think there is a problem with it? Should the other mother say something to her son or let it pass? What does he think the other mother could tell her son? How does he think the other boy will take the conversation with his mother? Try that approach without ever admitting you know he has been doing it. Good luck.
2007-02-07 13:26:23 · answer #1 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you should put a password right on the start up of the computer . i have that without the password this computer wont even finish starting up .
once you do that you can tell the boy that when he finishes using the computer he is to tell you or you set a time limit and then turn it off so only you and your husband can turn it on again .
i think that its important you check out what he does on the computer every day . teach him that the sex he saw was real in so much as part A does fit into part B but that is about it all the rest is for the most part acting bad acting but acting none the less.
i would work on teaching him the moral and emotional aspects of a relationship now you don't need to teach him the rest as he saw the show .
good luck and keep up the good work . oh and he is a normal kid
attempting to see porn on the computer is no different then checking out dads playboy was when i was a kid.
good luck
2007-02-08 04:18:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this situation is most like having a pool at house: You should not forbid your kids to get into the pool, rather to teach them haw to swim.
At 14, most boys want to discover what is going on with their bodies, and what happens to girls'; and the easiest way to find out is surfing the Net. It is not uncommon they become influenced by older or more mature kids, who show them pornography as a good and actually interesting thing.
Yelling only makes things worse, since the boy will keep doing it, now as an open challenge to your authority as parents. The best way to solve it, is providing a given set of rules, i.e. To perform his "discoveries" in private, do sports (good both for fitness and mind health), and avoid pornography on the PC, since many infections come through these pages (Tell him "thus, there will not be a computer at all to surf the Net, since we will have to get it repaired."); but these rules should not be at all restrictive, or he will abridge them.
When you talk to him, make him feel safe, and do not force him to talk. Good luck!!
2007-02-08 08:06:38 · answer #3 · answered by Arminius 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had been caught many times when I was 14 and I've had the talk with my parents lots of times but it didn't get me to stop. You can tell your son that you would prefer him not to look at porn but he probably will continue you too anyways. The fact is its very addictive. More addictive than crack I would say and look at all the crackheads out there. Anyways, talk to your son explain to him your views on why you think its wrong and try to convince him that stopping is best for him. But I'd have to say that its completely normal.
2007-02-08 16:12:24 · answer #4 · answered by Ace of Blackness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you are catholic or christian you should say that God made the human body not for others just to look at for enjoyment. that is a mortal sin. there are reasons why those "parts" are there. mainly for nurturing babies. dont freak him out but if you are christian tell him that he has to go to confesion and he is grounded from the computer for x weeks or days. and from then on he must always be monitored on the computer. also check his room for anything that could be used for masturbating. after seeing something sexually attractive you probably know what happens. He could masturbate afterwards. you should check under his mattress, under his bed, and everywhere
2007-02-07 13:27:25 · answer #5 · answered by wacky_cornrows 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may install NetDog Porn Filter: http://www.netdogsoft.com on his computer, it will block all porn websites quitely when he's on the computer
2007-02-07 18:30:34 · answer #6 · answered by beyondhelper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont talk to him about it at all
forget about it
its embarassing enough that his mom caught him, he doesnt need further embarassment
wouldnt you rather him look at porn than have sex
2007-02-07 15:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by Pitbull 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋