Piece Of Paradise...
After the tears from last night,
I saw my life in a different light,
Feeling tender after our fight,
But sure that I would be alright.
Painted pictures at my desk,
Recieted a list of things I detest,
About you and how we used to be,
And all the things that made me unhappy.
Who am I fooling, I couldnt be without you,
Your a piece of paradise and that I always knew,
Your silly ways
Entertain my days,
And without you,
I am the sea,
Without the blue.
2007-02-07 09:38:51 · 10 answers · asked by Lindsay T 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
That's Beautiful...(sob)
2007-02-07 09:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by Stacy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I found the first 2 paragraphs really strong.
Then the final 2 seem to lack the same strength.
Overall, ALOT better then anything I could ever write!!
2007-02-07 17:50:03 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a great poem. 10 out of 10.
2007-02-07 17:43:39 · answer #3 · answered by Nico 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i like the first two verses very much but i think you could improve the last one or make the last two into a single verse..the style of it getting short at the end doesn't work for me
2007-02-07 17:54:48 · answer #4 · answered by Tek ~aka~Legs! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG, it is beautiful and deep. I love it. 100/10
2007-02-07 17:44:53 · answer #5 · answered by Shelb-N-Ator [[H!ATD]] 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's good...it reminds me of someone I lost a few years ago.
Good job!
2007-02-07 17:44:39 · answer #6 · answered by ._. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whoa! you should try to submit that in a poem contest. Very well written.
2007-02-07 17:46:12 · answer #7 · answered by Op. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very Good! I liked it! You are really good at writing poems..i wish i had that gift! ;)
2007-02-07 17:46:40 · answer #8 · answered by Dawnigirl21 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like it except that it is a little dark.
2007-02-07 17:42:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not too shabby, I love it!!!
2007-02-07 17:43:22 · answer #10 · answered by sickelsie3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋