I have been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years. I need a roommate due to my student loans payment about to being. So I can not afford to live on my own. I have 2 dogs and 1 cat. My dogs are 2 and 5 years old. I had them since they were babies and my cat is 6 years old and I had her since her birth. I love them dearly. My boyfriend knew I had them and would play with them and by them gifts. He recently bought a new home and then got a rott dog. My dog is 2lb and the other 50lbs and his is 150lbs. My pets are all in door pets and he will not allow me to have them in doors and they never been to his house. He expects them to not bark and be okay outside in the yard with his rott. He said my cat can not live with us at all. I d o not know what to do. If put my cat in a shelter they will put her to sleep because she is a senior, despite the fact she is healthy. We are not engaged. I do not want to end up hating him for life and worst if we break up I won't have my pets. What should I do?
2007-02-07 09:34:24 · 21 answers · asked by godsgracekme 1 in Pets ➔ Other - Pets
Find a different roomie or see if your parents or other family members will take them. But you need to really think about your relationship it sounds like. He sounds like he wants you to do whatever he wants and doesnt care what you think. I mean he knew you had them so why did he ask you to move in if he wasnt willing to take all of your "family" too. Or did you ask to move in with him, cuz if you did maybe its his way of saying no. If he thinks you wont move in if he says you cant have your cat, maybe thats what hes doing so that way YOU decide to not move in instead of him saying no I dont want you to move in. Just remember your pets were there long before he was and will be there for you after (if you all break up).
2007-02-07 09:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by Ryne's proud mommy 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
DUMP HIM! For me, love of animals is an absolute requirement for a man. And not only are they animals, they are YOURS. YOU have a say in where they live. Don't be a docile girl, stand up for your animals. If you give them up for him you will never forget it and always regret it. I understand you have financial problems, but regardless he should be respecting you and your posessions. If he cannot, I would dump him.
Don't give your animals up for a man who does not show respect for your loves and posessions, and who is trying to control you when you are not even engaged. You say that like you think you may be engaged/married some day. If so, he will have to learn how to compromise. If he can't do that now what makes you think you'll have any choices once you do get engaged, married?
Also, he keeps his dog OUTSIDE, and won't let it in the house. That fact alone would turn me off to a guy. This is, obviously, just my personal opinion, but I would not stand for a guy like that.
Do what your heart tells you is right. Otherwise you will regret it for a long, long time. I wish you luck, I realize this is very hard for you.
2007-02-07 19:36:09 · answer #2 · answered by lildi_32 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would take a stand now, before things go any further. I'm sure you love him, but you had them first and there is no reason you should have to give them up. Having pets is a big responsibility, and you are responsible for them for life. How will he be when it's time to think about children? Will they have to stay outside most of the time so they won't mess up the house? Will they be allowed to play and make noise? I don't mean to be sarcastic, but these are realistic questions for a man who has taken such a hard stance against your animals. Good luck and stay strong.
2007-02-07 17:44:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I hate to say it, especially since you have been together for so long, but if he can't accept your pets, you don't want to be with him. You had your pets first, & when you started dating him, did THEY tell you its him or them? no, they accepted him in your life.
I know its not the same thing exactly, but come on, he knew you had the pets first. Don't give up your babies just for some guy. Guy's are replaceable. An animal that will love you unconditionally.... well, you know.
GOOD LUCK!!
2007-02-07 18:51:58 · answer #4 · answered by jamie c 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that if he is behaving so bacause of your pets , imagen if you marry him he will want apart you from your loves ones "parents".
Look how much years you have with your pets and he will come and make you loose them , all the moments you spend with them when he was not there , It have many things that you can do and in those you dont want to loose your boyfriend or your pets, boyfriend you can have it any time but not the same , pets when they gone they do not come back and leaving them that will be a pain in your heart , just think about what is better for you and the future and choose !
2007-02-07 18:05:19 · answer #5 · answered by Hindu_ Latina 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
personally i'd tell him it was all of us or none of us. if he was fine with them before he shouldn't have a problem with them now. he may be worried that the rottie will attack the cat. talk to him and see why he feels that way but the bottom line has to be that you love your animals and are not going to give them up. if your animals are indoor animals they probably will not do good outside all the time. no animal should be an outside pet! the changes in the weather could kill them if it is to extreme.
2007-02-07 18:53:32 · answer #6 · answered by MommyCaleb 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This one's a pretty easy call. People who own Rots do so because it's a power thing. They want to show their power, and exhibit it over others. You had your pets first, but your bf wanted to ignore your/their needs and get his own dog, which is incompatible with yours. By doing so, he's basically stating that it's his way or the highway.
However, I do need to point this out: Which is more important to you: Your relationship to a person, or your relationship with your pets? Some people live for their pets. Nothing wrong with that, it's just the way some people are wired. To others, pets are just that- pets. At this juncture, you need to decide which is really more important to you. If you choose your pets, that's OK.
As for your b/f, no need to hate him, just realize what he is and move on. Or stay with him, if you must. But if it were my daughter, I'd advise her to move on or face a life of (increasing) control.
2007-02-07 18:10:36 · answer #7 · answered by Capt. Obvious 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should ask your boyfriend if you can just let them try a night with you and let them bark for one night and then tell the to be quiet the next night. Or if you don't want to do that then you could ask your parents or bet friend if they could keep the animals for a little while until you get the money to buy your own house. Those are some suggestions.
2007-02-07 17:44:03 · answer #8 · answered by mychickenwill 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
he needs to rethink his position. if you are both bringing income into the household, then the decisions are agreed upon by both of you, he's not your daddy. if you allow him to begin with behavior like this it will only get worse and you are right, if a senior cat can even get a spot in a no kill shelter, it would probably not live due to the shock of a desertion by the owner he's had all his life. advertise for another roommate and don't let your boyfriend decide how you should live.
2007-02-07 17:55:10 · answer #9 · answered by llsnwtsn 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I have dogs as well. I took the responsibility for them when they came into my life, therefore it is my responsibility to care for them until they pass. I would not give them up for anything or anyone. To me they are just like my kids. If my boyfriend did not accept them, fully, then that would be a big hint to me to find another. I understand that you have financial issues but those can be taken care of. Find someone else to room with.
2007-02-07 17:47:17 · answer #10 · answered by gomorrah 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋