My boyfriend has been pushing me away these days. He did not get promoted at work and since then he has been pretty upset about it. He has been working so hard these days, he said he worked till 1 am for the last 2 nights. I called him today but he told me that he thought I understand him that he needs to focus right now. I told him that I understand him but I also want to see him. He said that he has only one thing on his mind right now and he does not want or need anybody right now. We are supposed to meet this weekend. I know he is upset a lot these days as he seems to be having problems with his boss but what should I do? It hurts me to hear that he does not need me?
2007-02-07 09:27:39 · 7 answers · asked by Elisa N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He is only saying that because of the situation that he is going thru. But if u keep pushing him to give u time and stuff like that then u are going to lose him. So if he is saying he doesnt need anyone (right now) and he needs to focus then give him a little space to do what he is asking to do. He will miss u and come back instead of u making things worse and crowding the space he needs
2007-02-07 09:37:19 · answer #1 · answered by JAY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went through a very similar situation with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. He started becoming insecure for no particular reason, feeling like he needed to just be alone with his thoughts and figure his stuff out. I fought him over it, which maybe is something I shouldn't have done. I gave him his space, even though it hurt more than I'd like to describe. We ended up talking everything out, and we're just as good as before, if not better and stronger.
Give him his space, let him understand that you care about him a lot, and you carre about him so much that you're willing to give him some time to figure things out. Hopefully, he'll figure things out and this problem will be solved, but you have to let him figure it out. Tell him that if he needs support, love, or someone to listen, you'll be there for him. He'll appreciate it a lot, I promise.
However, the whole work situation could be an excuse for him to be moody and unattached, so keep that in mind.
Good luck. Hope this was helpful.
2007-02-07 17:36:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not that he doesnt care about you. He is going through a tough time right now and wants his space. Its not that he doesnt "need" you, but its in every man's nature to try to take it upon himself to "fix" a situation when things go awry without anyones help. He's just got his mind set on the goal to get promoted and he figures by putting in extra time his boss will see that and set him up for the next promotion (even though that might not be the reason he was passed for a promotion). All you need to do is let him know that your here for him and then give him the space he needs. When the time comes, he'll naturally come to you....
2007-02-07 17:38:29 · answer #3 · answered by Herbal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give him the space that he wants otherwise you will push him totally away. If your afraid of losing him maybe you already have. Are there clues something has gone awry in the relationship? You seem to be picking up on something. Maybe he is not really working until 1:00am at all. I know I would be suspcious but accusations and calling him is not going to bring him closer to you it will only push him away from you.
2007-02-07 17:36:44 · answer #4 · answered by devilgal031948 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mmm, maybe he does need time to concentrate on his job. Leave him alone for a little while, he will realize something is missing when you back away from him. Let him come to you, if its work that is stressing him, he'll call you. If its something else, then he may not, but by then you will know where you stand in the relationship. I know it hurts, but you can't make him come to you for comfort if does not want to.
2007-02-07 17:36:34 · answer #5 · answered by RR77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him be for a while.
The more co-dependent you get, the less he cares.
And hey, who's to say he's not lying to you?
Cheating on you?
Whatever.
If he don' wantcha, you don' need him.
2007-02-07 17:31:41 · answer #6 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probably just upset that he got overlooked you should just be supportive but also give him his space
2007-02-07 17:32:58 · answer #7 · answered by kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋