Guys... how would you feel if a girl told you this?

Question

My special friend & I ended what we had & instead of stalking him like some women, I moved on. I called him my special friend because we never said we were bf & gf. I dated other guys & just had fun. Before I was the good girl. I had never had a one night stand, I had never had a friend with benefits type of relationship nor had I ever had sex with anyone unless I thought we were in a relationship. After the split I went through a few months of what I like to call 'finding myself" & I stayed in contact with 1 person. All of a sudden my special friend asked to come back & so far it still has been only as my special friend. We both got tested and started having sex without protection "I AM OK WITH THAT DECESION", but I asked him again was this going anywhere (still waiting for an answer) I also let him know that he is the only person I am having unprotected sex with (it's the truth), but not the only person I am having sex with. So I want to know does a guy care if a girl tells him that?

I just don't understand why does it matter what I do if he is not ready to commit.

Also he has never told me I was the only one.

Answer 1

Here's the thing...now that your "special friend" knows you are having sex with others he will feel open to as well. This puts everyone involved at risk. Just because you were tested previously does not mean you won't contract something later. You or he may find yourselves in a situation without a condom or with a broken one and not even know he has anything. Then you have sex with each other and boom! You've both got it. Plus the possibility of pregnancy that shouldn't even have to be explained. That would put more of a strain on the "relationship" than anything.

From the sounds of it you would like this relationship to go further than it is. By asking and in the same breath telling him that you are sexually active with others you are sending mixed signals. I'm sure this poor guy is rather confused at the moment. You need to set the record straight and tell him A) that you want more out of your relationship and are willing to cut down to a single partner (i.e. him) and be faithful to him and the relationship or B) you are happy sowing your wild oats and want to make sure you are not sending "i want a serious relationship" signals and confusing him. Either way do not leave it open-ended and begin assuming things. It will lead to everyone being misled and hurt. Just think how you would feel if you were only sleeping with him and he told you he was having multiple partners (protected or not). You would be in a slight state of confusion as well.

Hope this helps and just remember if something does happen (i.e. you get pregnant by him or anyone else or contract something) it can not be anyone's fault. By being open about your actions and you both knowingly having sex you are both equally responsible for everything that happens.

Answer 2

Yes, a guy would care if a girl were to tell him that.

Here's what the guy's reaction would be:
- She has asked me if this relationship is going anywhere
- She's telling me that I'm not the only one
- She and I are at risk to become parents (unprotected sex)
therefore, she is trying to get me to commit to a permanent relationship and I'm not ready to do that.

I think that your future as a single parent is quite bright. You should be missing periods and be pregnant any day now. How's that working for you? It is unlikely that he will be any MORE committed to you after the kid is on the way.

Answer 3

i dont think there is anything wrong with it no, infact my ex told me how she feels before i told her, some guys are shy and cannot tell the girl how she feels therefore if anything is going to be made of it then the girl must tell the guy how she feels. even if your not sure if the guy feels the same way its still better said then not said. theres nothing wrong with a girl telling a guy how she feels..

Answer 4

I cant say i would feel anything but pleasure cause as long as im on top hittin it. The way i see it this poor guy doesnt get much and is in love with you and you probably love him too and enough to bareback him but how can you bone someone else and think a guy wont care? This scam and jam is confusing you and will haunt you forever unless you change your evil ways. Not hating

Answer 5

depends on the guy...is he a nerdy guy who probably isnt getting laid all over the place? but if he is like i used to be...thats great for him...one less disease outlet to worry about...but if your just the fall back, then i wouldnt have unprotected sex with him, cause condoms really dont prevent everything, and they especially dont protect against warts or herpes, or a number of disgusting things that can be in the fluids that pour all over the place...

Answer 6

personally I would care but everyone has thier own opinoins on things and he can only answer that. 90% of the time guys are posessive. I would make sure he knows now instead of later. The longer you wait to tell him the worse the response.

Answer 7

Some guys care.

Guys like your friend who like having casual, meaningless sex with women who want the same don't care.

What about the other person you are having sex with? Does he know?

I think you need to grow up a little.

Answer 8

You gotta love kissing through reynolds-wrap....
Oh wait you said sex...
Can't get anything from kissing...

Oh and you both really need to talk. That is what is going to tell if you have anything in comon with each other. Nothing that you can't live WITH that the other does and won't change.

Answer 9

If you are having unptrotected s ex then he doesn't care. You say that you are not into the "casual" thing, but yet you are sleeping with this guy without having a relationship and while dating others.

You need to clear up your head, your heading for disaster,

Answer 10

Yes. It depends on the guy- but the answer is yes. People are generally better than you think. This world. Oh man.