How in the hell am I acting white?

Question

Not a day goes by at school or anywhere else that people ask me if my hair is real. Is it because I'm black? People say that my hair is like a white girls. It hurts my feelings to think that people ask those questions because they believe that black girls can't have long hair.

Also, I listen to bands like Coldplay, Goldfrapp and Daft Punk. I hardly ever listen to rap. I try not to speak ebonics and I talk properly a lot. White people tell me that I act white and black people tell me to stop acting white. I talk about my plans to go to college and be a successful writer or model and my black friends just roll their eyes. Black boys don't even associate with me often anymore because they say I'm too white for them. They speak ebonics, wear their pants down to their butts and just act ghetto. The black girls embarrass me. They're so obnoxious and it makes me think that other people will categorize me as apart of them.

I don't understand it at all. I'm called an Oreo now. Help...

Answer 1

People enjoy clinging to stereotypes, and they dislike it when people don't fit into their molds - so they try and break it down, and force them to rever to more acceptable behaviours.

It's a sad statement that in your area, wanting to go to college is associated with being 'white'. At the end of the day, these kid's opinions don't matter at all - going to college not only increases your chance at success, but it really is an amazing experience. You'll be out of high school soon enough, and I'm sure you'll find college a much more enjoyable place! You leave most of the stupid folk behind, and with them - their silly ideas and stereotypes. I'm not saying college is perfect, but believe me when I say it's definitely worth shooting for and a lot better than what you seem to be dealing with.

And you're definitely not the only black person that likes rock, and things that aren't rap and hip hop. Right now a Japanese rock band is touring the US, and I went to their Atlanta show - and there was more than a few of us black people there. We didn't get any flack, or a double look. Just your average fan.

The whole world isn't like it, and I think right now - you need to just raise your chin, and ignore them. Keep aiming for college, because it'll be such a great place for you. Trust me. ;D

Answer 2

It's an unspoken, social trap. If your English is good and you have education and a good job you're considered a sellout, and a wannabe, acting White person by many Black people, but if you're poor, with a ghetto mentality, and have done some jail time then you are a real Black person. Sometimes it also works like this. A Black person decides he/she wants to do something with their lives so they make a decision to steer clear of everything that 's Black related, so they are perceived by all the other races as being progressive, and education minded. They purposely alter their speech, and behavior habits to be more euro-centric, and the reward for doing this is that in school, or the work place, or out in public in general Whites and Asians react to them differently; they are less judgmental, less racists, and more friendly towards the Black person that alters their base character, but the flip side to this is that when the the Black person who did alter their character, and behavior deal with other Black people they are usually met with contempt, suspicion, and distrust, and viewed as a total sellout. It's a trap, and that trap is defined by White establishment, and Black people who are fearful when one of their brothers or sisters try to make something of themselves, so they try to pull that person down, or brand them a sellout in order to make them go away (which usually happens) so the community can be once again a same minded environment of victim mentality. Then you have Black people that were somehow ruined by their own race when they were young, so when they finally became of age they left their communities, got a good education, and a good job, then then spend the rest of their lives talking bad about Black people to Whites and Asians. They also changed their behavior and speech patterns so completely that if you closed your eyes while you were talking to them you would believe that the person you're talking to is White. Any encounter with a Black person they will go out of their way to belittle them, and if they get a new Black worker at their job they do their best to get them fired. As far as dating goes they will never consider another Black person as a possible mate and only date other races. Whites LOVE this kind of Black person. Whenever Whites say "I'm not racists I have a Black friend" They are referring to the person I just spoke about.

Answer 3

This is tough. High school sometimes sucks for intelligent and sophisticated people such as yourself. Students don't know how to categorize you. They want you to fit into their cliques, but it sounds like you are more of an independent thinker.

What is considered "black" is full of many useless stereotypes put out by rappers who are selling an image. Look to other black role models and you will see that you're as black as the best of them. It's not really black culture they're going on about actually, it's hip-hop culture and a dialect of English.

To turn the situation to your advantage, you could ask some of your black friends to teach you ebonics and introduce a few rappers you should check out. You have the opportunity to participate in their group and to learn what they know. As far as the obnoxious girls go, you may never fit in to their groups, but would you want to? You probably make them jealous. This is painful at the moment (consider changing schools?) but a few years from now you won't see any of them and you'll be able to laugh about this.

Peace.

Charles Cox

Answer 4

I don't think you are acting white either. Besides, you don't need to try to act black, you ARE black. Not all black people like rap. Not all white people want to go to college and/or want to be successful.

I don't think color even enters into the way you are "acting." You are "acting" like a well-educated young woman with a good head on your shoulders. I was able to tell a lot about you by reading your post. Pay those idiots no mind--you'll leave them in the dust soon enough anyway.

Answer 5

wow what a predicament. Dont pay attention to what anybody says. It seems like you have a great future ahead of you if you stay on track and not let their peer pressure bring you down. Look at it this way... What are all your friends going to be doing in the next 5-10 years? With your goals and ambitions, you will have made it in this world. And they will be working McDonalds or somewhere, thats what their ebonics and baggy pants are going to get them. There are plenty of black girls who like that type of music, and talk properly. What it sounds like is they are sterotyping. Are your friends trying to say that since your black you have to talk ebonics, have weave in your hair, wear baggy clothing? Everybody is different regardless of the color of their skin. Good luck!

Answer 6

Oh my, I see the same kinds of people at my school but they don't say that I act white

The whole music thing, listen to whatever you want. I don't like rap either and almost listen to everything but that, man ignorance is something else

And it just kills me how black females (especially the younger ones) don't know anything about their hair; over the past few weeks I have heard many things from black females that I find disturbing

Answer 7

I feel u. U need to just keep being yourself because there has to be some people out to represent the black race without being ghetto. i'm black and i don't act ghetto that doesn't mean i'm white. Because u shouldn't act like media protray what's supposed to be black. Black people can talk correct english, have long hair and want to succeed in life.

Answer 8

You aren't acting 'white' you are acting like yourself.

Black people who play out racial stereotypes by talking 'ebonics' or by dressing and acting the way you describe aren't being themselves, and are doing themselves and other blacks a disservice.

They reinforce the negative stereotypes, and then wonder why they are stuck in the situations they find themselves in.

Be yourself - don't let anyone tell you how you should be. (including me)

Answer 9

I'd say if your listening to the music you want to and your speaking correct english and your hair is beautiful, then they are jealous. Who cares. Be yourself. You will go alot further in life than most that are just acting ignorant because it's "cool".

Answer 10

The comments of others do not define or describe you. Pay no attention, just be yourself.

People who judge others in this way are deeply confused.

Does it really mater what the confused think?

Your fine just the way you are, don't let the comments of others make you change in any way.

Love and blessings Don