im SO scared; bawling right now.. help?

Question

well, im stuck between the line: either, betray my friend and possibly loose her, or let my friend starve herself. you see, i was talking to her and shes like "OMG DON'T LOO AT MY MYSPACE COMMENT, I NEED TO HIDE THEM RIGHT AWAY!" and, i did, without telling her, and she hid them and i asked her what it was about and she said she would be mad if she told me. I saw the comments and a girl was talking to her and said "YOU STARVE YOURSELF, AND THROW UP YOUR FOOD?! BAD BAD BAD, DON'T DO THAT; NEVER STARVE YOURSELF AGAIN!" that's why my friend(best friend) didn't want me seeing it, she'd know that i wanted to do something about it. I DON'TKNOW WHAT TO DO. im so scared cause she is the perfect size and she thinks she's fat; she doesn't eat that much but says she pigs out at home. she says she has thown up ONCE but not on purpose. please help me out, and don't say "you need to get her help right now!" .. thanks. =(

Answer 1

You need to sit down and talk with her alone. Ask her why does she think she's fat. Tell her your most honest answer of what you think of her weight. Then tell her that her life is more important than her wishes to be as skinny as Kiera Knightly. If she didn't throw up on purpose, then that's good. But she's starving herself. What satisfaction does she have in it? It's what she should feel, not look. I am a victim of starving myself. It's horrible. And I'm only 14. But then a friend told me that I should eat. It's makes you FEEL good. Yes, sometimes, it even makes you look good. She needs to eat. In order to be healthy. Now, I eat. And it doesn't affect my looks. Well, it makes me look better by making me look healthy. Not sickly, like how I used to look. Girl, I know it's a tough decision. But people die of starving themselves. Just talk with her. And share these facts from a girl who used to starve herself. I know what's she's going through.

Answer 2

If she is truly anorexic then she needs help, otherwise your friend will not be here very long or she will damage her body so much that she will finally wish she were dead seriously. If she is at a healthy weight, like by BMI standards, then I would not fly to pieces just yet. If she is very thin and sickly then you need to talk with her about what is happening to her. Try to identify with what you believe she is going through and try to talk her into getting help on her own. Watch her for awhile and see what she is really doing if you can. You might want to speak with her mom or siblings, you don't have to come out and say "She is anorexic, can you take her to the hospital now?" Just tell them you noticed a comment about her and that she hid it, or describe some type of behavior that bothers you, and I know you do have some troublesome thoughts about this. In the end, you will have to betray your friend, but you can be honest with her and tell her that you were afraid that she was going to die. Later in life she will thank you.

Answer 3

You need to get her help right away!

Okay...If I didn't want to tell on her and I wanted to help her and she wasn't open to getting or receiving professional help...here is what I would probably do....

Turn things around and tell her you need help. Tell her that you haven't been feeling as healthy lately and that you want to take some steps and make some changes to become healthier. Tell her you have been trying but not doing as well as you'd like and ask her if she would be willing to help you by making these changes together. Tell her it would help you if you had somebody to pursue common goals like eating healthier and stuff. So, then you look up some health books and 'discover' together what healthy weights are for your height. Have lunch with her and eat the same types of dishes. Follow lunches up with some sort of acitivity immediately and stay with her so that she doesn't have the opportunity to throw it up. Like maybe taking a brisk walk or something. Kind pursue activities that build upon this.

Hope this helps and good luck!

Answer 4

Okay and breathe please! First and foremost, have YOU thought about what your friend is actually doing to herself right now? Have YOU considered what the meaning of her NOT eating AND having(only once according to her) thrown up after eating really mean? As much as you don't want to read it here, she DOES have a problem! Her problem can only be dealt with if you DO get her some help. Or at least, tell her parents about this RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! In other words, you need to get her some help and you should have already done so if you really are her friend!

Answer 5

If you are worried about her but dont want her to know it was you getting involved, try sending her parents an annonymous letter in the mail. If this information was on myspace it could be anyone who sends the letter right? If you r freind asks you you can deny it.

It really is important to get her help even thoguh thats not what you wanted to hear. You can tell her she looks fine all you want but her parents need to know. Try typing up a letter to her parents and putting it in her mailbox. Hopefully there will come a day when you can talk about it with her and she can thank you for saving her life.

Good Luck. PLEASE TELL SOMEONE

Answer 6

Im sorry but you need to tell someone who could help her because thats just the reality of life. If you are her real freind you will. thats just it. Your not stabbing her in the back in anyway you are her freind and you were worried about her period end of the story. If she wasnt shouting out for help anyway she wouldnt have been talking about either to a freind or a complete stranger on her big open Myspace page! I mean if you wanted a cry for help well there it is. Get HER HELP! your not backstabbing her your being a real freind and your showing tough love.

Answer 7

your friend is asking for help in her own way, the fact that she even mentioned the comments to you was a cry for help--she in fact did want you to see them. I would speak with a school counselor and see if they can reach out to her....and she may actually be mad for a little while but once she gets herself healthy again she will appreciate what you did for her and understand that you did it because you care about her. but you need to TAKE ACTION you dont want something to happen down the line that could be prevented now

Answer 8

She can only be helped when she wants it. But it sounds as if she is reaching out, albeit through myspace, so as a true friend, you should find someone to help her. Go to an adult you trust and tell them. The feeling that you are betraying her will abate the second you realize you may have saved her life.

Answer 9

I know you don't want anyone telling you to get your friend some help, but that is exactly what you must do. You fear losing her friendship, yet there won't be any, if you don't act now. If you don't, something even worse might happen; she might even lose her life. It's very dangerous for one to starve themselves and you know that. Yes, you did betray your friend's trust, but because this might become - or already is - a life-death situation, you'll have to put things like that on hold for now and help her.

Answer 10

Talk to her parents immediately. I was bulimic for years ---from age 13 and I am 51 now. I haven't stopped. Talk about future medical problems....let me tell you. I have had to have all of my teeth capped the acid when throwing up tore out filling and eroded my enamel of the teeth. My throat / esophagus has had to be opened/stretched numerous time from the scarring caused by throwing up. Nexium, Carafate are my best friends. Before I eat anything, I think is this going to be something easy to throw up? This is a disease. It gets worse. I have tried to stop but I can't. Your friend is young enough where she can.

Go over and talk to her parents. NOW.