why is it that most married couples that have been married 4 along time seem like they r more like bestfriends than like they love eachother?
2007-02-07 08:32:56 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because that's what you become after being married for such a long time. The "lust" wears off and that's what you have. So if you don't have that and the sex wears off, then you're in big trouble.
2007-02-07 08:36:18 · answer #1 · answered by Jewel 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well that depends on the marriage. My parents, 25 years, happy as two kids who jsut fell in love and they have a great time. My grandparents, dont look happy because they are old and other things trouble them, but the love is there. Don't lose hope on love. Most people might look unhappy because people get married on instinct rather than making sure the person is right for them. Of course the time frame you are talking about now came from a generation oif marriage was final, divorce didnt exist, atleast without committing some kind of mortal sin. So it could be 20 years in they woke up and said, what the hell am i doin. But on the same token, sometimes joy isnt in a face, its in the holding of hands, the fact that they still go out to eat together, that the love is still there. I hope that you find this kind of love and wish you the best.
2007-02-07 08:39:57 · answer #2 · answered by Drew 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there are way too many variables to answer for everyone out there but I will say this! That as children are born the responsibilities grow and are harder to ignore and party down. Also you are so tired after working your bu** off then coming home cooking cleaning helping with studies. Getting tomorrow organized planning the next meal etc etc etc the closeness that enables lovers to recall the last time shared embracing hugging kissing licking etc etcetc become far and few in between. It's when they become non existent is when the problems in marriages really take flight. Lack of money and lack of naughty sex kills marriages. Though there are plenty of religious missionary oriented couples that think I am a pig. Here's why: The reason after years and years of marriage a man still holds his wife's hand is because she swallows. (period)
2007-02-07 09:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur Richards of Kent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee, I don't know what type of married people you hang with! We have many happily and in love married friends. My parents were totally happily married and fully in love. So are my three sisters - married 20 years and more, and still love and are loved. As for me, married almost 18 years, and it just seems to get better all the time. We totally love each other, it grows and deepens as each year goes by. Our relationship is full of fun and laughter, love and lust.
I hope you get better role models...
2007-02-07 09:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're confusing love with lust. The longer you're married to somebody (if you are truly committed and not focused on yourself), the more comfortable you become with that person. Also, many couples who have been married a long time got married when it was considered appropriate and respectful towards one another by not sharing all of the intimate details of their sex life with everybody they know. Just because they aren't pawing each other in public doesn't mean they don't love each other. It means they have respect for others and for themselves.
2007-02-07 08:45:51 · answer #5 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes in a marriage the love just slowly fades away or the other reason is because they are use to eachother, there is nothing more new to figure out all the excitement of the relationship is gone and your just bored with your partner
2014-12-29 01:01:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because we often confuse lust and obsession with love. Love is calm, steady. Your love of 20 years can stand to be in the other room doing their own thing while you read, watch TV, talk on the phone. Your love of 20 days is obsessed and has to talk to you constantly, touch you, kiss you, and be sort of annoying until the "newness" wears off. Scientists suggest that lust/obsessive love lasts about 18 months max. and then you are stuck with the ordinary love that can last a lifetime or only a few more months if you are needing that "obsessive" love again.
2007-02-07 08:40:43 · answer #7 · answered by Nutzzzzz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well.... hormone levels drop as you get older so the sex drive isn't kicking in every 10 minutes like it was when you are younger.. and... well.. they most likely have ridden that ride a bizillion times and after a while... it becomes old hat. So.. whats left is a deeper relationship between the two.. not one that is based on sex but on an understanding of the persons soul.
2007-02-07 08:49:55 · answer #8 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. that is not true of all married couples and I've been married for ten years and my husband and I are friends!! We re still very romantic and steam!! Marriage is not like the dating game and the boyfriend and girlfriend!! We know it takes more than empty words and sexual escapades!! It takes commitment, faithfulness and in the eyes of the unmarried it may look like best friends!
2007-02-07 08:48:56 · answer #9 · answered by sexychocolatecity21 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not all of them at least my parents still love eachother they have been married for 42 years. But I guess they get used to the other side... so they look like brothers.
2007-02-07 08:38:03 · answer #10 · answered by Marquel 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think they just stop putting effort into their relationship. Even when you have been married for a while, you should still act like your dating. Life just kinda gets boring and so they should travel or go on dates or do romantic things for each other.
2007-02-07 09:09:18 · answer #11 · answered by Jenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋