Why are people sometimes embarrassed to tell if they are being abused?

Question

I just don't understand how they can be too embarrassed to get help in a situation that they know is not their fault.

P.S. Just wanted to add, thank you all for setting me straight, I realize now people are not necessarily embarrassed and that there are deeper problems only understood by someone in this kind of situation.

Answer 1

You've just answered your own question. People who have been abused do not 'know it is not their fault'. They have often been beaten down over a long period of time and have little self esteem or self worth. They have often been told by their abuser that it is their fault and that they deserve it. It is very hard for someone who is being abused to overcome these feelings and tell someone. They are also in fear of societal stigma, damaging their family, the reaction of the abuser and not being believed.

Answer 2

Abuse in families can take many forms. It may be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, or a combination of any or all of those. Neglect - when parents don't take care of the basic needs of the children who depend on them - can be a form of abuse.

Family violence can affect anyone, regardless of religion, color, or social standing. It happens in both wealthy and poor families and in single-parent or two-parent households. Sometimes parents abuse each other, which can be hard for a child to witness. Some parents abuse their children by using physical or verbal cruelty as a way of discipline. Both girls and guys can experience abusive physical punishment by a parent - but male children are beaten more often than female children.

People who are being abused need to get help. Keeping the abuse a secret doesn't protect a person from being abused - it only makes it more likely that the abuse will continue.

If you or anyone you know is being abused, talk to someone you or your friend can trust - a family member, a friend, a trusted teacher, a doctor, or an adult who works with youth at school or in a place of worship. Many teachers and counselors, for instance, have training in how to recognize and report abuse.

Telephone directories list local child abuse and family violence hotline numbers that you can call for help. There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453).

Answer 3

I think it's because many people find themselves being abused by someone they also love, and that is a hard thing to get over. When you love someone, you want to believe that they're going to change. It can be embarrassing to admit being abused by someone that you love because you don't want to admit any number of things: that you let yourself get into the situation, that the abuser isn't the person you thought they were, etc. People often feel as if they are giving up, even though they are the one being abused.

Answer 4

It's not that they are embarrased, they know being abused is wrong, but what is the problem with this people is they need so much someones's influence and company that they literally can't live without them... that, or they are afraid of telling cause that could have even worse consequences... they need help, and sometimes they don't want it cause they think it's natural to be abused, it's all about their background and their education.

Answer 5

I don't think it's so much that they're embarrassed--it's the fear that the abuser has put into their heads. They don't want to continue being abused, but are afraid that if the abuser finds out they told someone--much worse abuse will occur.

Answer 6

If you have ever been abused, then you would understand that is not being embarrassed, its being scared and when you are abused you do feel like it is your fault, its easy for the abuser to make you feel that way.

Answer 7

I guess they are afraid that no one would believe them! I was sexually abused by my grand-father when i was younger and i told a few peole that knew how he was including my own mother and i was told to never say that again even though they all knew it was true maybe that is why a lot of peopl don't tell to keep the peace especially when family is involved!

Answer 8

I am not embarrassed at all ..... I was abused when I was a kid and younger. My parents sort of like abandoned and neglected me all my life so practically I never know what parents' love is.....I was raised by grandmother and mother's sisters which basically they felt under pressures to raise me emotionally and financially. They presumably believe that I was not their responsibility, but mother's. But since mother refuses to accept me -since she got pregnant of me from the first night sex with father whom she never really loved- she shuns me..... So then, my aunts unconsciously abused me emotionally 70% and physically. I experienced so many emotional violence since I was a little kid... which supposedly a kid at that young age should never experience that kind of emotional and verbal abuse ever. But I did... And at that time, no one really reached out a hand for helping me out. I did and do it myself with my own awareness and comprehension.
Still the fright, scare and tremor from my traumatic childhood and past affects me until now..... All the fears that brought to me from my past still affects me until now. It's kinda like a ghost that haunts me.
It was such a traumatic moments for me. Yes.
And I never get embarrassed at all to tell the whole world about this... I know many people are so uneasy and anxious to talk about it.....But I guess we have to change it, because child abuse is something that you really have to break. Child abuse is like a dreadful domino effect.... somebody has to stop it. A child should live under the brightness of sun shine.... NOT inside the darkness and coldness of the soul.
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Answer 9

Alice i think it's more about fear, than it is embarrassment. that is something you should really look into, i'm curious myself. someone mayhave the answer though.

Answer 10

That's just part of human nature.They like to appear as if they have it all together.