If a woman has three half grown teen children (boys...but do not live with her), and then her second marriage was a bust as well, due to him playing around on her.....do you seriously look at "track record" on this woman? Is it a deciding factor on if you want to be involved with her or not? Does it turn you off from even talking to her?
2007-02-07 07:45:09 · 23 answers · asked by a_lot_smarter_now 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For the most part guys do look at track records. I am a 39 year old male going on my second divorce with a simular situation in my current marriage. I've asked myself the same question. What woman in her right mind would ever consider me with my past track record? If I was talking to one of my daughters I would tell her to find someone else. So here is what I've decided to do. Find someone who has been through a simular experience who could really understand what I've been through. In my case that would mean looking at women who may have been divorced, kids okay and maybe have had simular experiences. A woman who has been cheated on would be able to understand my pain and hopefully hate it enough to never want to hurt anyone she cared about in the same way. I'm not looking for a depressed, hurting woman but rather a woman who can understand me and not judge my past until they've heard my story. I do consider myself a good person and I have a lot to offer a woman. But it's not my fault my spouse doesn't feel the same way. I would never turn you down just because you have 3 teens. Who ever accepts me would have to accept my kids as well. That's my advice
2007-02-07 08:16:50 · answer #1 · answered by ProRaul 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times, personality can overshadow the "track record." But it's not easy. With the kids and the two marriages, your own confidence and esteem have been shaken and that might have an affect on how you interact with people. Then there are other issues, like trust, that come into play when you start dating. This could go on and on, but for the most part, if you're awesome, then all that other stuff can be swept under the rug.
2007-02-07 16:06:31 · answer #2 · answered by kane_derick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh track record ABSOLUTLY plays a role.. and it would be something I have always looked at seriously.. and LOL well the track record has proven out to be right so far (not a good thing)
I disagree with the above that men are more likely to stray first.. statistics & surveys dont bear that out.. women have exceeded males in "straying" years ago according to data..
2007-02-07 15:50:41 · answer #3 · answered by darchangel_3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in judging a book by its cover. So what if you have been married twice before. I would still talk with you and get to know you, it usually is pretty easy to figure out where the problem in the previous relationships were once you talk to someone. The only thing that I would be cautious of is her feelings about remarrying, many people after a couple tries no longer want to marry, and that is perfectly fine and understandable.
2007-02-07 15:56:26 · answer #4 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i dont know pal, sometimes it is but you have to look at her as a person, from experience ive learned that if you get yourelf too involved in her past you will find pain for yourself and possibly ruin chances of being happy and keeping a good thing, but i mean if the past is obviously something horrible then you have to take it into consideration, like if a girl had 7 boyfriends in a month and i didnt want a jerk for a gf i would stay FAR away from her. good luck though.
2007-02-07 15:49:25 · answer #5 · answered by U.S MARINE GREG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it very hard to believe that it can not play a role. Is it a deciding factor that is another question. Would that stop me from getting to know you, no.
Unfortunately, when you marry a person with kids you at the same time in a way going to have in your family life another person with connections to your spouse.
2007-02-07 16:17:41 · answer #6 · answered by ???///??? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The failed marriages are not necessarily the track record. The baggage of three kids and two ex-husbands are the problem. Not insurmountable, but potentially a problem. As long as you got your head on straight, are decent looking and like to get it on, you'll be fine.
2007-02-07 15:49:59 · answer #7 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It don't really turn me off but it doe's make me look at her very hard and see if maybe she has some issues that are hard to live with.Allot of times when you see this it's because the woman expects or wants to much form the guy.
2007-02-07 15:56:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I would probably be too young for someone like you if I were single, but it would make me cautious.
It doesn't mean it's a no. But there are lessons to be learned by looking at past behavior. Most importantly - why did these things happen? What have you learned from them? What "damage" has been done to you that will ruin future relationships?
Many of these things can be dealt with. But they DO have to be dealt with.
2007-02-07 15:53:24 · answer #9 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are very few things that would stop me from pursuing a potential lover, but a lot of things that would scare me away from a long term commitment. One that comes to mind is "My ex husband has custody of the kids", or "My ex gets out of the joint next week".
2007-02-07 15:56:18 · answer #10 · answered by The Central Scrutinizer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋