My wife and I got back together 6 months ago after being seperated for almost 2 years. We have been married for 17. While we were seperated, I met other women on Match.com and MySpace. My wife has a problem with me still exchanging e-mails with them even though I have never met these women face to face or talked with them on the phone. Who is being unreasonable?
2007-02-07 07:43:13 · 10 answers · asked by The Central Scrutinizer 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The simplest way for you to answer this is to put yourself in her place. How would you feel if it were her that had these friends that she met online on dating sites? And why is it so important for you to maintain these "friendships" with people you don't even know if it causes her to feel suspicious? The way I see it, if you want a marriage to work, you need to remember your priorities.
2007-02-07 07:50:26 · answer #1 · answered by Mel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest with you, there is an inherent danger, or implication, in having "outside interests" when married. Sure, you've never met these women before, but you well know that you wouldn't mind meeting them. Be honest with yourself, and think about how you'd feel if your wife met men on Match.com (a dating site), and Myspace.com WHILE YOU WERE SEPARATED, and then continued these relationships at a time when you are trying to reconcile your already strained marriage.
If you really love and care for not only your wife, but your marriage, and about yourself, you must put an earnest effort into mending your relationship, and developing trust. Because you've never met these Myspace or Match women in person, it should not be too difficult to explain that you are trying to work out your marriage, and that you are choosing to cutoff communication with them. I'm not sure what your relationships are like with these women, but the issues of a person's marriage should only be discussed with the marriage partner, or with a trained professional who has no personal interest in either of you, and serves the sole purpose of facilitating the mending of your relationship.
If you truly want to develop trust between you and your wife, you've got to give her 100% of yourself, and demonstrate this by removing from your life any "interloper" who might preclude you from giving that 100% to your marriage.
2007-02-07 15:57:04 · answer #2 · answered by Ronnieboy34 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can see how she could be jealous. But if you're just friends with these women then there shouldn't be a problem. I wont ask why you were seperated in the first place but if it has anything to do with you being unfaithful or if you have done something that gives her a reason not to trust you then you cannot blame her for having a problem with you speaking to other women. Just reassure her that you are only friends with these women, if she trusts you, she will understand.
2007-02-07 16:06:09 · answer #3 · answered by Allie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly interested in getting back with your wife, the other online women should not be an issue for you. Forget them and focus on your wife. There's nothing worse than a man wasting time on a cyberchick, when he's got a living, breathing woman in the next room waiting.
2007-02-07 15:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess she has the fear of not knowing what exactly your relationship was with these women before you two got back together. I personally have a pen pal of the opposite sex. My husband used to have a huge problem with it but I kept writing and still do because I know that I'm not doing anything wrong. As long as the relationship is strictly plutonic and there isn't even a glint of flirting, I don't think that you should quit writing to these women.
2007-02-07 15:50:57 · answer #5 · answered by Tasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you for real??? Match is a place to get dates! Noone goes there to make friends. It sounds like you want to keep your options open. If you really want to maintain your marriage, drop these women. Are they really worth the love and trust of your marriage?
2007-02-07 16:06:33 · answer #6 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk away. Who is wearing the pants anyway? If you are not pursuing these women and they are just "friends" I do not se any harm. It also works both ways though. She can also talk to "friends" online too.
2007-02-07 16:12:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're being unreasonable. Concentrate on making your relationship with your wife work (if its what you really want) and get rid of the other women.
You can't have your cake and eat it too!!!!
2007-02-07 16:08:43 · answer #8 · answered by AmyB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dropped all online friends when I met my man. It was being inconsiderate of his feelings. I'm much happen now anyways. I hope this answered your question.
2007-02-07 16:00:46 · answer #9 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are.
you got back together with your wife. it's time to cut off contact with the seat fillers.
2007-02-07 17:10:12 · answer #10 · answered by jude D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋