Is it wrong for me to be so angry @ my bro???

Question

My lil bro, (he just turned 17), found out that he was going to be having a baby! His girlfriend is very immature (just turned 18). She is very dependant on others, does drugs, & flirts with other guys. Im afraid that she is going to ruin her baby's life, when the baby is born. Im real angry @ the fact that they ARE having a baby. I mean, he is only 17. He still needs to go to college and grow up more. Im real scared for them. Please, if anyone has any feedback let me know. Thanx~

Answer 1

I can understand your anger. Unfortunately, there are alot of people engagin in sex and risking the creation of a child without having the proper situation for it.

They are both probably scared but feel that having the baby aborted is wrong. There is the perspective of abortion being murder. It may not be yours, but it may be thiers. I would be angrier they were having sex when they dont have a great situation for a baby. Too many people today seem to think it is fine to go out and have sex cause they feel some feelings and then if the big woopsie were to happen, just abort the kid, chuck it in the trash.

There are some pretty crappy young parents out there. But there are also alot of pretty decent ones. Nothing smartens a person up quick like having a child. So you never know. They might rise to the challange valiantly.

However, the hardest part about having a kid isnt really the kid most of the time, but learning how to have a functional relationship with your partner. Nothing screws kids up more than watching thier parents fight. I would recommend that you suggest like a pre-marital type counselling, even if they are happy in love. Having a life time relationship with someone is hard work and there is definetly an art to it. You have to learn how to disagree with eachother and yet still function, how to deal with hard times when your partner is under the weather, how to work together as a financial team, how to fight fairly and knowing when the argue and when to back off and working together to solve problems. A whole bunch of stuff. There is alot of working together when there is a baby.

I think you should put aside your feelings of anger, though they are valid, and be a little more supportive of your brother. Let him know you arent happy about some of his choices but that you will still be there for him. After all, they are HIS choices. He is probably scared and questioning the future as well.

Good Luck to you and your brother

Answer 2

So many girls out there are so selfish. Dont judge her until after the baby is born. She might change. Is she still doing drugs while she's pregnant?? Unfortunately there's nothing you can do because its not your baby. but when your brother turns 18, he can fight for full custody and take the baby away from the druggy mother. Just make sure your brother stays clean and has a job. If it comes down to it, the court will reward the baby to whoever is more responsible.
It sucks that this happens, but you never know, if she continues, she might end up just giving up being a parent and let your brother take care of everything. You just never know what will happen in the future. Good Luck and just pray!

Answer 3

well unfortunately the baby is here. planned or not, it's on it's way and it is not the baby's fault. what he needs to do is sit down with the mother of the baby and discuss with her that her lifestyle needs to change for the sake of their kid. if she is not willing to change then after the baby is born take the kid from her. if she doesn't quit doing drugs and partying she could kill the baby before it is even born. if you see her all messed up keep her somewhere, sneak off and call the cops. if you can get it on record that while she was pregnant she was abusing then it will help your case in keeping her away from the baby once it's born. your brother is probably very scared and with you and your families help he may be able to still go to college and be a dad. realize that he never meant for this to happen and instead of putting him down, help him become ready to be a daddy and let him know that you love him and it will be ok. if you yell at him and put him down for this he will end up resenting the baby and might not show it as much love as he could. he coudl possibly even refuse to be a parent if you keep putting him down.you think your scared, imagine how he must feel. take him aside one day and talk to him,sister to brother and let him know that you are there for him.

Answer 4

you can be mad at him all you want to. But in the end it is her decision if she wants to keep the baby. Whether she is a responsible person or not. Your brother should have used more caution if he didn't want to bring a child into this world. You can't trust some females now a days and they may say they are on birth control.. but I wouldn't let that be the only birth control in the relationship. If you brother is going to take responsibility for this child, i would for sure make sure that he gets a paternity test done. You say she flirts with other guys.. make sure before your brother puts a dime into her and their child that it is his child. But like i said.. you can be mad at him, but I wouldn't be. Think of what he is going through right now, he has to grow up fast and become and adult.. he may need you for advice and help and it is better to get over your anger and help him out as much as you can.. goodluck and hope all goes well

Answer 5

It is not wrong for you to be angry. They are your emotions and you are allowed to feel them! Two huge factors in this situation are your brother's and his girlfriend's attitude about the news of her pregnancy. Is she keeping the baby? Is she considering abortion? Is she considering giving the baby up for adoption? Now that she knows she is pregnant, is she still doing drugs? It is not a crime or "cheating" just to flirt with other guys. Plus, they are both very young, so it is unrealistic of them (and you) to think they are only going to be with each other, even now that she's pregnant. Financially speaking, they are going to have a very difficult road ahead of them, just getting a job can be challenging, let alone getting one that pays enough to maintain a family. Where will they live? Are they going to try to be a family together? Are they expecting his/her parents to take care of this? It is a complex and frightening situation.

As an older sister, you can speak honestly with them about your very real concerns and help them see all the options available to them. Try not to be judgmental of them. Try to be encouraging and supportive and be a good listener if either of them want to talk. Encourage them to seek counsel from someplace like Planned Parenthood as well.

Many prayers to you and your bro and his girl and the baby!

Answer 6

I can't blame you for feeling angry. If they have made the decision to have the baby I would suggest trying to get an intervention for the baby' mom. She needs a wake up call and she needs it now. Please try to assemble both family and friends and get involved. Get in touch with someone that can mediate the intervention. The sooner the better. Good luck!

Answer 7

You shouldnt be mean or mad at him. he needs support rite now. His gf needs to get her self together for this baby. but just because there young doesnt mean there gonna be bad parents im 18 n my fiance is 17 and were having a baby and were gonna be the best parents on earth

Answer 8

Is he willing to be responsible for his actions? Or have they decided to give the child up for adoption? Either way, he's already doing well if this is the case and you should respect him and help him out.

He either needs to talk to his girlfriend about being a mother to the baby or asking her for full custody or giving up the baby for adoption.

Answer 9

You should tell your brother how you feel. That's really sad though, for her. She isn't going to be able to live the normal life of a teen anymore. She probably is going through some hard times right now. So, just talk to your brother.

***GOOD LUCK***

Answer 10

it is normal to be mad at ur bro after all he is ur baby brother but honestly i think you should support ur bro but u dont have to support his gf but be there so that when the baby is born ull be there to help them out and make sure that the baby is ok.i also think that ur brother could also deal with his own problems that was his fault for making them.but i think ur brother needs support and not for people to be mad at him