We have been through a lot of good times and many bad times. We've hurt eachother alot when drunk. When we are sober, things are far different. We have both come to a place in our sobriety where we can move on. I am still completely in love with the sober person I fell in love with years ago. He is handsome, extremely intelligent, funny and I can't imagine finding. He tells me he loves me for many reasons that come out of the sober person I have. He recently met someone on the computer and went out for drinks with her. The very next day, I began to hear doubts from him on pursuing our relationship. By his own admission, he has crossed the line, yet he refuses to let the friendship go. After we spend time yesterday discussing her, he couldn't wait to go home and talk to her. As I was telling him how uncomfortable it made me, he then answered a call from her where he laughed on the phone with her for 1/2 hr. Keep in mind, I was only there for a 3 day visit,he could call her any time.
2007-02-07 07:35:50 · 18 answers · asked by amre432 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He obviously has moved on. It is time for you to move on too. You can find someone better, who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. He is TOTALLY disrespectful to talk to her with you around. Pack your bags and tell him BYE BYE!!!!
2007-02-07 07:41:01 · answer #1 · answered by an88mikewife 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I'm an old man and according to many completely out of it - whatever "it" is. And all I'll say about that is - don't bet on it. But here goes: The holding of the two fingers together means they are close buds, but given the circumstances without what followed that would be all it would mean to me - just good friends. However, what did follow sheds a whole new light on things. As others have indicated here they both went way, and I mean way, over the line. Once a couple become engaged their faithfulness to the agreement to marry should be just as strong as the vows will be in marriage - forsaking all others - is the phrase that comes to mind. And if that isn't the intent/meaning of an engagement what in the world does engagement mean - why get engaged at all - why not just got from being a steady date to the altar? Of course that's what being engaged means - I'm through flirting - through patting other girls behinds - that stuff is over for me. He supposedly doesn't see that he did anything wrong. Fine. He's either lying or he doesn't have the foggiest notion what it means to be engaged. Think about it. If he's telling you the truth and really doesn't believe he did anything wrong then what does engagement mean to him? How are things different between the two of you today when compared to what they were 15 minutes before you got engaged. The only alternative to that is that he's a bold faced liar. Either way - break off the engagement - at least until he's ready to commit to you. Otherwise you are walking smack dab into a relationship with either a liar or someone who hasn't the foggiest notion about what commitment means. And the latter will come back to bite you right in your back side if you marry someone who doesn't know what commitment means. Good luck
2016-03-29 09:47:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is more interested in spending time with someone he doesnt know then you, you need to move on. I am guessing he was sober when all of this was happening so this probably can't be blamed on drinking either.
If he just ignores your feelings and talks to her while you are there you need to get away. I know it may seem difficult but you will be better off for it.
Why are you only there for 3 days? Is it long distance?
2007-02-07 07:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by D R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you b/f likes somebody else. Let him know again, that it bothers you and you cant deal with it. Tell him to tell you straight out if he still wants to be in the relationship if not sweetie let it go. He is failing to respect you, if he loves you so much then he will make you happy and that includes letting go of "friends" that bother you. Are you in a long distant relationship??? If you are things will not get any better. I know you are hurt but just think how much you will hurt if he fails to end the friendship...
Best of Luck
2007-02-07 07:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by Alex 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes ,this is crossing the line if you are not comfortable with that friendship and he cares about you he should stop talking to her.
I recommend you both quit drinking and if he refuses you should have a long talk and put your priorities in order.If it doesn't work then you need to move on with your life .Good luck
2007-02-07 07:48:06 · answer #5 · answered by jea1010 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of this guy. Not only did he cross the line, but he's downright disrespecting you. If you were only in town for a couple of days, he should have shown more attention to you. Also, you'll have a really hard time trusting him from here on out. Do you really want to torture yourself like that?
2007-02-07 07:42:40 · answer #6 · answered by yayaya 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have no choice but to walk away from this guy. You can't just quietly accept being second choice. It'll eventually affect your self esteem. Remain respectful toward him, don't go in for the drama, and just move on with your life. He's made his choice clear to you. It's up to you to do what you know is in your own best interest. Good Luck
2007-02-07 07:41:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, your boyfriends behavior is crossing the line. i don't think that he is truly interested in you nor do i believe that he was sincere when he admitted that he crossed the line. as hard as this may be for you hear, you need to move on. find someone who is going to be there for you, love you, support you, stand behind you and not treat you like a piece of trash. you do not deserve this kind of treatment. it is going to be his loss not yours. i really believe that this is going to be the best route to take. he isn't going to change either so don't think that. you are better off without him. hope this helps. good luck.
2007-02-07 07:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have come to terms with your relationship to Alcohol at a more honest, advanced stage then he has. As you must know through your own experience, Alcohol needs to push out all those who Love the person of whom it is existing in. Nothing or nobody can be allowed to interrupt it's ongoing transformation inside it's host. You represent sobriety, and that will never do. This new relationship is probably two-fold. First it pushes your sober influence out of the picture, and secondly, it helps smooth the way for Alcohol to carry your partner further along with it. Remember, drinking is only a symptom of Alcohol's treachery, it is it's mental manipulation of it's victim that is it's number one objective.
I have written a book of my experiences and it begins like this;
As my feet slap down against the cold wet pavement, and my face drips rain from the storm, an unrelenting need to drink pushes me further. Exact final destination appears unknown , but it's inevitable that the evil inside will again return me to the source of my nightmare. No control, no will of my own, no power had I found that might evict this hell that had infected my body and mind. Self-identity, and all that was once me, had been buried under countless layers of drunkenness, so deep, that any calls for help were merely an echo inside my head.
This living liquid curse, cunning and without conscience, had been absorbed into a body which at one time eagerly welcomed it's unyielding influence. But now, as the onslaught of alcohol turned viciously against the world around me, it was only I being held responsible for it's drunken destruction carried out during my imprisonment.
Those intense fear ridden mornings, when I awoke to find yet another nightmare of alcohol's creation, devilishly constructed from it's own personality the night before. Whether it was the sight of dried blood crusted over both hands, or the unfamiliar surroundings of a place where I shouldn't have been, alcohol knew how to render me frozen with crippling insecurity. Too frightened to reason out a healthy answer as to what was happening to me, a deliberate terror of conscience always reached out and tightly gripped my soul. This devil, disguised and hidden behind my own recently drunken face, knew exactly where I'd run to for help. This was much more then an accident through drink. Alcohol's intent was to survive at all costs, to live and breath it's own existence using me as it's host of choice.
But, now, unaware of this developing transformation, all I wanted to do was calm the terror inside my head. There would be only one place, one exit, one chance to escape into a feeling of normality. Alcohol left nothing to chance, and as it waited patiently for me to return a bottle to my lips, I could almost hear a deep sullen laughter quicken my mobility. I desperately needed to lock myself away into the only security I knew, and to experience that precious freedom, I once again had to ingest my enslaver.
If you find this interesting,you can contact me @ http://www.associatedcontent.com/..........
Steve Procto
I have alot more that I have written
2007-02-10 15:56:25 · answer #9 · answered by Steve 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be the dumbest person i have ever come across.
Why would you put up with this? Anyway, maybe you should start drinking again. See what happens when everyone gets sober.
2007-02-07 07:40:33 · answer #10 · answered by tobcol 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋