im 16 and pregnant and i need some answers?

Question

im 16 and pregnant my mom found out yesterday but she is trying to get pregnant and when she found out she said i have to give the baby to her through adoption and that she we act like its her baby and everything but see how am i supposed to be sitting in the house and her my son or daughter call my mother mom and call me sister?

Answer 1

Hi Megan. You know, unlike everyone else that has answered your question I am not so sure that your mother is out to hurt you or to try to use you or to take control away from you. It is possible that she loves you very much and is just trying to think of a way that the baby could stay in your family but you could still have your childhood and still go to school and do all the things that she probably thinks mean alot to you. It is possible that her motives are good ones and that she has no desire to hurt you in any way.
The important thing here is what do YOU want? If it is important to you to be a mother to this baby in every sense of the word then of course you are not going to want to do what your mother is suggesting. I do know for a fact that there are young teenage mothers who would be thrilled if their mother would make them such a bargain. So lets not be so hard on your Mom. Just tell her that you want to be the baby's mother and that while there is no doubt that you are going to need her help and her support, her role is going to have to be one of a grandmother rather than a mother. Your child can grow up very loved and very happy with the attention of both a live in grandmother and you there. I doubt that your mother is going to try to force anything on you.
BTW, tell your mother that you have definitely decided to breastfeed....lol...let her try to take THAT away from you.
No seriously, you are the mother, your name will be on the birth certificate and the only way that what your mother has suggested would work would be if you were all for it too.
Everything will work out for the best. Just be glad that she is not like some mothers and trying to force you to abort your baby!
Feel free to write to me if there is anything I can help you with.
Blessings
Lady Trinity~

Answer 2

What your mother is asking in a round about way is that she would want you to be a serrogate mother. (One who carries a baby for another)..usually a serrogate mother carries a baby that is from donor sperm and eggs from the parents. And then, they get a healthy person to carry the fetus to term. It is a method used for couples who are infertile or for some reason cannot have children on their own. That process is usually discussed BEFORE there is a pregnancy and is something everyone agrees on beforehand. Not something your mother can force you to do...after all, there is a father for this child too who would have a say so as well. Your mother probably just feels because you are so young, that she could raise the baby easier than you could...in some cases, that may be true...but even so, that still does not mean you would want her to adopt your child. If adoption was something you were considering anyway and she wants this baby, then that is something that needs to be discussed with a counselor with all parties involved to be present to discuss the best way to raise this child...if or not you should be called the "sister" is not being honest to the child. You could allow your mother to adopt with the understanding that you will not be called "sister" but perhaps by your name. My husbands kids call him by his name and do not refer to him as Dad. It was always like that for his kids and they don't think it's out of the ordinary. The problem with your mom adopting your child is, are you going to be able to allow her to raise the child without you trying to dictate? You will have a natural instinct to want to intervene as the "parent" for your child, and your mom, may not feel you have the right since she would be the adoptive parent. I still say seek a family/adoption councelor to go over all these issues and help sort through each one. Your mom may decide she doesn't want to adopt afterall taking all these other issues into consideration.

Answer 3

No offense, but your mother sounds a little bit crazy.

If you don't feel comfortable with giving her the child, then you should tell her that you don't want to do it - it is your child, and your decision.

That said, if you are 16, living at home, and dependent on your mother, you should probably try to find something to do in order to bring in some income, and become more independent. Being 16, and pregnant will make it harder, but if you have made the decision to have the child, you have got a lot of hard work on your hands, and need to start taking the initiative.

Good luck - to you, and your child.

Answer 4

You do not need to give your child to her. It's YOUR child not hers.

So unless you don't want the child, you keep it.

Your mother sounds like a control freak and needs to back off.

You are only 16,there are options. raise it, abortion, adoption.

Also at 16 you can get an apartment and the government should help you out as a single mother.

Where is the father in this situation and where is your father?

You do not have to give her your child. Honestly your mother is a psycho.

Who wants to take their childs child away...that's just insane. not cool.

I understand you're young but still. if you think you can handle a child- well best of luck to you!

ALSO. why doesn't your mother want to be a grandma? My mother is young and the grandmother of a 3 year old and there's another on the way. My brothers- not mine.

Answer 5

Um, that's going to be tough. While I'd advise you to put the baby up for adoption, I don't know if having a family member (especially your mom) do the adoption. And I'd also resist hiding the truth from the child, he/she will eventually find out, and probably resent you and your mother for duping him/her. Also, you're going to feel very strongly to this child, it's going to be hard on you when you reach adulthood to not want to parent this child. Talk to an adoption counselor about this, but I don't think anyone would recommend it.

My neice got pregnant at 16, and for awhile my husband and I thought about adopting the baby, but after talking with the rest of our family and our neice, we decided it would be too difficult on everyone. That baby just wasn't meant to be in our family, she was meant to be with someone else. That was 6 years ago, and the little girl is with a wonderful family, and they all love her very much.

Answer 6

You don't have to give the baby to her. She's trying to bully you. Get some counseling and you may have to leave with the baby to keep her from taking the baby. I do think that you're too young to be a mother, but your mom has no right to take your baby because she can't have her own. Good Luck and keep us updated.

Answer 7

YOU DO NOT have to give your baby to your mother! You are 16, which is young yes..but still can be a good momma! I was 16 as well with my first. This will mess the child up..to call someone else mama and think you are the sister! Email me if you want more help!

Answer 8

First off you dont have to do that. Its your choice. you have to think really hard about this cus once you do it theres not turning back. you should think really hard. but your mom cannot take your baby its your choice. im 18 and 15 weeks pregnant my moms very supportive of me. we may be young but that doesnt mean were gonna be bad moms. im gonna be a great mom and so could you. just think of the best decison for you and your baby. good luck

Answer 9

That is an answer, but it could be hard
I am not sure if I could do.
You need to talk to an counselor.
Ask your mom to see a counselor
Also look into adoption. What your mom is asking is hard.
Good luck

Answer 10

Your mom has no right to do that to you because she wants a child so badly. Legally she has no right to that baby and its is yours to with what you want. If she threatens to throw you out there are organiations that help teen mothers get on their feet.