My wife has been through two "occurences" where she started to catch feelings for some guy she started talking to online. She ended up talking to both of them on the phone, and the first one she was talking dirty to on the phone and tried to leave me for this guy 3 months before our wedding! And it turns out that he is on my states sex offender list! It has been cut off each time, but now it is getting to the point where I dont want her to talk to guys at all online. Especially since she told me numerous times it wouldnt happen again. Am I wrong?
2007-02-07 06:33:43 · 34 answers · asked by williamjohnwelch 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're not wrong and you know it. Why does she have to talk to guys on line when she has you? She's had two "occurrences" and has told you numerous times it won't happen again. Yet is still does. That's like men who abuse women. After they do it they're sorry and swear it won't happen again...until the next time.
It might not be so bad if she were just having a general discussion with these people about the global warming, politics, religion and the such. But she's talking dirty and catching feelings? What's next? Arranging a meeting time and spot? You need to sit her down and tell her she has two options. She can sever all ties to these clowns and spend more time finding out how great and interesting you are to talk to OR she can continue to talk to them...without you!
Let her know if it happens again you're in the wind and on the road. She married a great guy and she should have far more respect for you than she does. Don't allow your wife or anyone else to disrespect you. You deserve better.
2007-02-07 06:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by Arleen J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Under those circumstances, no I do not think it would be wrong. I think it would be wrong of her to continue these chats when it's so obvious that they can jeopardize her relationship with you. One of my exes wound up having a very real problem with chatting, where he would tell the women (who were all living in our area) that he was single, ask for phone numbers, etc. I caught him cybering, exchanging photos and phone numbers, and various other things. We broke up once over his lies and emotional infidelity, and it was a mistake for me to take him back.
I hope you and your wife have a better time with this than my ex and I did. I highly recommend marriage counseling if this is an issue, or if it seems that it might become one.
Just make sure you check your motives with yourself... Are you trying to control her? Are you trying to force her into a mold or make her into someone she's not? Or are you simply trying to protect your marriage? If the first two are NO and the last one is YES, then you're on the right track.
2007-02-07 06:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife has absolutely no business talking to any men on line at all. I would put a stop to that all together if I were you. I will say though that alot of times women do things like this due to the emotional relationship with their husband at home is lacking. You might take a step back and take a look at yourself and see if you are sufficiently providing for your wife emotionally. If you decide you can't provide her emotional needs you need to file for a divorce and let her move on and find someone who can.
2007-02-07 06:44:44 · answer #3 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think that your wife has every right to talk on line. However, if she wants to talk dirty or have a boyfriend on the side then she is not for you. It sounds like is may be doing this because she is bored in the relationship. Try talking to her about it. Go on vacation. Take some time off with just you and her.
good luck
2007-02-07 07:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by white_pussy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think your marriage is more seriously troubled than her chatting up some guy. You probably should consider a marriage counsellor, maybe even separation.
Normally I would say yes it is a bit jealous of you to stop her from talking to a guy but not in these circumstances. I feel you are well within your concerns and rights.
2007-02-07 06:41:16 · answer #5 · answered by cnc_13023 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, my question is why did you marry her in the first place if she started doing this before you got married. To me it sounds like she loves the mystery of meeting people online and having those kind of relationships. I wouldnt let her talk to men online, but you reallly cant stop her. I hope this works out for you, im kind of speechless on this one
2007-02-07 06:39:46 · answer #6 · answered by msX 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No...it's not wrong for you to demand her to stop talking to other men online. It is wrong for her to do that, it's a form of cheating. You are her husband and you have the right to ask her to stop because it is hurting your marriage. You need to stand up for yourself as a man and a husband. You need to let her know that you do not want her to do this, and don't let her change the subject! Good luck!
2007-02-07 06:41:12 · answer #7 · answered by skye_lashay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me on this. Get counseling as soon as possible, and if that doesn't work, do what you have to do to make it right for yourself. I am married to a man like this and it has caused nothing but problems in our marriage, and we are on the verge of divorce because of what it has done to our trust. Don't let her ruin your ability to trust other people. Chances are if she is still doing it and lying about it even though she knows it hurts you- she will keep on doing what ever she wants in the future, in spite of how it affects you.
2007-02-07 06:49:23 · answer #8 · answered by Kelley S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Married people should direct their romantic and sexual energy into the marriage, not away from it. To send that energy and interest outside of your relationship is not the way to cultivate your togetherness. She needs to rethink her priorities and decide if she wants to be married to you or to have a flirtatious (and more) relationship elsewhere. A healthy marriage in my opinion, doesn't have both at the same time.
2007-02-07 06:45:11 · answer #9 · answered by Abigail 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She isn't just talking to guys online she's going past that and making phone calls. That is just wrong. You have every right to tell her to stop but she will do it when you're not around. Maybe she isn't exactly wife material. I concidder what she is doing as cheating. It's up to you but I would want a divorce.
2007-02-07 06:40:45 · answer #10 · answered by Tasha 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋