When you're married, what is the difference between secrets and privacy? For example going through your spouses email, cell phone, mail. etc.... If youre not wanting your spouse reading your email (or anything for that matter) is it because of privacy or secrets?
2007-02-07 06:23:54 · 17 answers · asked by thelilred_whocould 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It amazes me that some people can assume things - I was asking this very general question because I was curious what other people thought about it, as a conversation piece, not advice in my own life.
2007-02-07 06:39:27 · update #1
In a healthy relationship, there is a balance between honesty/sharing and personal space.
Never should two people feel that they have to (or are somehow entitled to) read one another's postal or email.
Everyone is entitled to a bit of personal space.
What it really comes down to is your motivation.
WHY should you feel that there should be total, 100% disclosure?
Sounds like mistrust and/or suspicion on someone's part; yours or his.
We've been married almost 37 years and we are very, very close, but we still give one another personal space, which is only right and healthy.
2007-02-07 13:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the emails are secrets in my opinion, but cell phone and mail are privacy. Its actually weird, because I don't believe anything should be hidden. There are some things that might be private and don't have to be secrets, like I have things in my life that were in my life before my fiance came into my life, and I think that its privacy not secrets, he knows that those letters exist, but he won't go reading them, cause its private, not a secret, if he wants to know what is in those letters, he can ask me, no secrets.
2007-02-07 06:32:44 · answer #2 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust is very important in a persons relationship. I do not have any secrets that I cannot share with my Fiancee, he's my best friend. When one feels they have to hide things from their Spouse/Mate then there are major problems. As long as there are No red flags, then trust each other. You will be able to tell if your husband is hiding things or not and if you suspect he is, then investigate. Do you both Communicate on a daily basis? That is so very important in a healthy relationship.. I wish you the best!
2007-02-07 06:33:05 · answer #3 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone going through mail, cell phones, email etc etc will not be satisfied if they don't find something. They will continue to prod, poke, pry until they do find something that doesn't fit the profile and latch on to that as a justification for the snooping.
So, I don't like someone doing that not because of the invasion of privacy or that I'm hiding something but because it's a sign of a fundamental distrust which doesn't lend itself to a healthy long term relationship.
2007-02-07 06:29:27 · answer #4 · answered by digdowndeepnseattle 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Privacy is wanting to be left alone when you go to the bathroom to use the toilet. Secrecy is wanting to be left alone when you go to the bathroom so that you can mainline some heroin. It's all in what you are doing and what your motivation for it is.
I have not always been completely trustworthy, but I have become so as I have grown older and more emotionally mature. My wife is a suspicious person, so she checks my cell phone, my email, and so forth. I don't care anymore, now that I have nothing whatsoever to hide, and I even laugh at her for doing it sometimes.
2007-02-07 06:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In your example, that would be keeping secrets...privacy involves confidential things at work....things that have nothing to do with the relationship...
This topic is covered extensively in the book "10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Ruin Their Relationships."
2007-02-07 06:28:01 · answer #6 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married...
Privacy is when you "trust" your spouse and have no need to go through his/her personal belongings but if done so you would find nothing to worry over.
Secrets is when you feel the need to "always" go through the pockets, email, cell..etc. because you know you will eventually find something (after all you have in the past)
2007-02-07 06:33:02 · answer #7 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's because of deceit, nothing more and nothing less. Your spouse doesn't and shouldn't have to hide anything from you but yet you feel compelled to deceive. So far as privacy, that's what you keep to yourselves and your secrets are lies and betrayal.
2007-02-07 06:45:53 · answer #8 · answered by beamer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i admire shiny Eyes, i've got been listening to them lots at the instant. I had "Lifted or the story is interior the Soil, save You Ear to the floor" on repeat this afternoon. i'm no longer fairly partial to MGMT, yet I even have enjoyed the few songs Tilly and the Wall that I even have heard. i admire David Bowie as nicely, although i do no longer pay attention to him too lots.
2016-12-17 04:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Secrets - that's when you have something to hide. Outside of that, you expect privacy- not that you have anything worth hiding.
2007-02-07 06:31:16 · answer #10 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋