Can someone help me figure out these dreams?

Question

I am happily involved with someone and we are engaged although we haven't even talked about an actual date to get married or anything.The first relationship I have ever had was age 19-23 and the guy was older and I was crazy in love with him.He cheated on me and a few months later I got back with him (i know i know) well after that things were good and he treated me great but yes he ended up cheating again with a girl that we were both friends with. He ended up breaking up with me over the phone and then she had the nerve to call me a few times to "help" me.Long story short, I was devastated for months and I haven't seen or talked to the guy in 3 years. The past few weeks I have had two dreams involving him. The first one I was just hanging out with his gorgeous new girlfriend that he wanted me to meet and the other one I was in a house with him and his family and friends but I don't remember much else. I haven't consciously thought of this guy in years so why am I dreaming about him?

I'm not stressing marriage plans I don't even want to get married for at least a few years (my choice not his) so it has nothing to do with that.

Answer 1

To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behaviour in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person. In particular, to see your ex-husband/wife in your dream, indicates that you are finding yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in. It suggests that you are experiencing a similar relationship or situation which makes you feel unhappy and uncomfortable. To see your ex in your dream also signifies aspects of yourself that you have crossed out or neglected.

Answer 2

Often we dream of people from the past for a couple of reasons:

1. He is serving as a physical personification of some actual fear you have--this ex represents a bad time in your life where you probably had a lot of self-dout. These fears about yourself could be resurfacing again to be worked out by your subconscious before you take the plunge into marriage.

2. You have unresolved feelings about the relationship. If this is the case, you will find that in your dream you and your ex will be discussing your relationship, or things you "never got to say" or you are asking him "why" (why he hurt you so bad, why did he cheat, etc.)

Either way, pay attention to what is happening in the dreams instead of focusing on him--that is where your real message lies. In fact, it has nothing to do with him. Dreams our unconscious minds way of jolting us into dealing with things. Often it choses a symbol that it knows holds a lot of meaning and emotion for us (a cheating ex fits that bill)

I imagine that if you had a dream where you were supposed to meet is "gorgeous new girlfriend" then it may be time to work through some personal self-esteem issues that would have naturally arisen from his betrayal. It could be that you subconscious knows that if you don't begin to sort this stuff out it ould negatively affect the new commitment you are about to make.

Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Most likely you are stressing about your current relationship and relating it to a past one that was serious. It could be that you are questioning yourself bc you are upset that you have no concrete wedding plans yet.
Talk to your fiance! Work out a reasonable timeline for wedding planning and discuss any concerns there might be regarding the wedding.
Good luck!