I am 24, my fiance is 44. My friends tell me to find someone younger?

Question

Hi there, my friends are always telling me to marry someone younger, but the man I fell in love with is 44 years old. I see no problem with it, he is the kindest, sweetest most gentle guy, he is very cute ( he looks and acts more like he is 30), has a great sense of humor, loves kids and animals. I have met so many guys that were in their 20's that are just clueless and immature. He is from England but became an American citizen before he met me, I am from here We are both mature adults with careers. Anyway, it's not like he's 65 or anything. What do you think?

Answer 1

In my opinion 24 is too young to get married. Wait until you're 30 and he's 50 and see if the fire is still there. In the mean time just live together.

Answer 2

There are alot of things to consider with a 20 year age gap. Yes, such a relationship can work out. But there will be some things along the way that you will have to work through.

While he might look and act younger today, chances are he will not once he turns 50 or 60. There's alot of difference between being 44 and 50, more than you can imagine, especially healthwise. That's only 6 short years from now for him.

You need to sit down with him and discuss some of the issues that might arise. Such as - does he want to have children? And how are you going to feel when you have a 5 yr old child and everyone thinks your husband is the child's grandfather.

When you're 40, you'll still be 'young', have plenty of energy, and be at your sexual peak. But he'll be an old man, who's tired and falling asleep in his chair after dinner every night. I know it's very hard for you to imagine now, but it's the truth. My husband's 11 years older than me. When we first got married, it didn't seem like that big of a deal, but later in life, you can really tell the difference.

As long as you are aware of all these issues, and feel that you can handle them, then hopefully your relationship will work out okay.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

I think that if the other person is old enough to have children your age -it's really creepy!

Age is only a number, but you have to realize how many generations of people there were between you and this other person. Anyway, the reasons that you list for liking this person are not qualities that are absent from too many people. I mean where is this person that has no sense of humor, hates kids and animals, is not sweet and gentle to a love interest, etc. The only type of person I can think of that has those qualities would be locked up somewhere. The reasons for which a person loves another cannot be so easily expressed. You sound like you're making excuses for why you like this person, when your truly in love you won't be searching for such broad terms to say why it is that you love them.
It would be like saying that you love a person because they have feelings, or that they have feet.

Answer 4

Seriously do you really think it is going to work he has been through things that you havent even experianced yet. A man will be a man of course he wants a young girl. You are 20 years a part in age and he has already begun to sag if you marry him as time goes on you will be checking out all the guys your own age and regret marrying him and if he acts like he is 30 instead of his age than he is immature for his age or just putting on a act so he can have you. Im his age and look like Im in my 30s to I have 25 year old gf that think Im there age. But I date men my age. When I was 25 I found it appolling for a older guy to make a pass at me or try to get my number let alone sleep with them.Good Luck

Answer 5

When I was 18 I fell inlove with a man who was 36, spent 9 years with him, and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. In the end I learned that he didn't have much respect for me at all, and there were also times when we were engaged that I would tell him that he didn't need to marry me, just to adopt me and I'd call him daddy. We never made it down the aisle, and though I still love him and i always will, I am glad that i left him FINALLY, and he is now with someone his own age. In just several months he treated her better than he treated me the entire 9 years. It does make a difference. If the guys your age are too immature, then maybe you aren't ready for marriage yourself, and I think you should wait before you make that kind of committment.

Answer 6

Plan your wedding because you...fell in love with is 44 years old. I see no problem with it, he is the kindest, sweetest most gentle guy, he is very cute ( he looks and acts more like he is 30), has a great sense of humor, loves kids and animals.

That's a keeper and a very good reason to get married. Those who are not in your corner may not want to attend what is sure to be a very beautiful experience. Too bad. They can always see the pictures. Go forward in love!

AND NOW TO RESPOND TO SOME OF THESE POSTS:
If he has children your age, then you'll have friends who understand all of his quirks.
If he should die or become ill, you can honor your marriage vows by taking care of him "till death do you part" and 'honoring him in sickness and in health."
How wonderful for you to have found someone who means as much to you as does your beloved.

Answer 7

I have a problem with men running after girls half their age. It might not matter to you now but there will come a time on down the road when the difference in age will become a factor. Where do you see yourself 20 years from now? Picture what the two of you will be like then, do you think that the two of you will still be able to do the things. how much are you expecting each of you to change , your likes and dislikes. How do children figure in ? There is a lot to consider.

Answer 8

wow- he's old enough to be your dad! He's even older than me, and you could be my daughter. If he was our friend and brought you around, I'm sorry to say but I'd feel like I was talking to a child. It would be so hard to socialize with someone your age. I can't imagine him enjoying time with your 24 year old friends. Just think: when you're 30, he'll be 50.

Um.. if a man acts 15 years younger than he actually is, that's nothing to brag about. That's called a red flag.

Answer 9

Please consider that you will be 50 when he is 70. This person is likely to die long before you (not that I want to put a downer on the situation) - and if you marry him, do you really want to spend your time looking after a much older man when you've just retired?

But nothing wrong with it if you're happy.

Answer 10

I think its fine. I am 40 and have dated women from 22 to 50. The only thing is do you want kids and does he. . I am throwing this out there so you can cover all the bases.