I'm in a Relationship that has been up and down for 9 years. After me and my First love split in 98 i have had the hardest time,moving foward. When i finally was able to move on with the relationship i have now, my ex popped back up into the pic. He's in prison right now so he calls every weekend to talk to my son. However i have been noticing that they only talk about 5 min. and than he wants to talk to me. His mother used to hate my guts and now calls all the time and even comes out to visit.
She always wants to know what's going on and wants me to talk to her about everything including my realtionship now. She says she doesn't repete anything i say and me not having a mom or friends that i can talk too I tell her.I suffer from PTS and so i have been doing my best at trying to get better, but i am feeling like things are getting worse. Things are starting to take a toll on the relationship i'm in now. From a males point of view can you tell me what's going on and what i should do?
2007-02-07 05:50:59 · 3 answers · asked by amandapassion411 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You should NEVER EVER speak with him again. Get on with your life girl! You don't want some dead beat felon in your life, and you should keep him away from your son. A felon is the WORST role model in the world for a kid. No matter how messed up you think you are, do it for your kids sake!
2007-02-07 05:56:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy...there are a nomber of issues here..sequencaly... - - -
The weekend phone calls from prison..
1st..thats a 'privelage' earned by good behavior...not through counceling or rehab..he is useing his 'privelage'.. NOT exerciseing his rehabilitaqtion..be careful here.
2nd..his mother is a 'mother' and will be a mother her entire life.
3rd..a 5 min phone relationship w/ a child once a week is pathetic representation of parental interaction.
4th..he and his mother have alterior objectives and are ommisng them , for what ever reasons..be careful.
5th..There are comunity services available that offer support to PTS sufferers, find them, use them, get involved with them, persue there meetings.
6th..your current relationship is suffering because YOU are partisipateing in a past relationship that is [or suld be] a mute memory.
7th..'advice' is not required..just take your own 'inventory', you have an exceptional counsciousness already of the excessiveness of demands and expectations of you not relivent to you, OR your relationship now...
8th..i think YOU already KNOW what you "should" do, YOU just dont want to do it.
2007-02-07 14:27:24 · answer #2 · answered by olddogwatchin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants 'something' and he's putting his mother up to helping him either get an 'in' or to get info.
What he wants is hard to determine. Is he getting out soon? Maybe he wants some sort of custoday relationship with the son. Not likely if he's only briefly talking to the boy. Maybe he wants to get back together with you?
He could be fearful that he won't have anybody when he gets out of prison or that he can't do better than you.
I'd start using the conversations with the mother and your ex to pump information from them. Ask what he's been up to. If he's going to be released anytime soon. If he is going to be released, what his plans are, etc... See what info you can get out of these conversations and gather more pieces to the puzzel. Maybe you can determine what he wants from them.
Good luck.
2007-02-07 14:00:51 · answer #3 · answered by BAM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋