My girlfriend/ex-girlfriend of 5 years is marrying another guy.
I am a 29 year old man and met her overseas in Ecuador back in 2002 when I was living there and we were together for one year in Ecuador. In 2004 after many unsuccessful attempts of her trying to get a VISA to come to the U.S., she got a marriage visa and came to the U.S. Well, after a few months i freaked out, had a lot of doubts about getting married, so I changed my mind and she went back to Ecuador. She suffered alot and was very embarassed at what happened. We reconciled and since 2005 I have changed my mind 2 other times to get married. Basically we talked about getting married, then I got scared and changed my mind again. This girl stayed with me throughout everything and I returned last month to marry her on the spot, I really feel ready now in my heart, and she told me she accepted to marry another guy.
Is there something wrong with me? Committment issues? Or simply I wasnt ready? wrong girl?
2007-02-07 05:42:37 · 10 answers · asked by robert7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
obviously u weren't ready....marriage is a very big step...count your blessings now and let her move on with her life..she obviously wasn't the right girl for u, at least, at that time
2007-02-07 05:49:01 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would seem that you have some fears about marriage and commitment that you need to deal with. As a result, this girl got sick of the back-and-forth treatment. However, she is at fault as well for being deceptive. She reconnects with you to get access to someone else. She is not the one for you, but you need to get in touch with your fears and overcome them. Then, when Miss Wonderful does come along, you can know, at just the right time, that she is the one.
Take time to pray about this as well. Tell God that you want the woman that He wants for you to have and that you want help overcoming your fears of commitment. Prayer does work.
2007-02-07 13:51:58 · answer #2 · answered by Bob T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in her position. Three times you told her you wanted to marry her and three times you changed your mind. Would you continue to wait or would you move on? Why would she believe you the next time. You obviously have some issues - whatever they are. But I wouldn't trust you again if I were her. You can't keep someone hanging on the rest of their life.
2007-02-07 17:26:43 · answer #3 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You blew it. I'm glad that she moved on, you hurt her a lot and she deserves to be happy.
Now, about commitment issues, I don't think that you have a problem. I honestly believe that you just knew in the back of your head that you didn't want to marry her.
See, is not like you have a commitment issues, is just that you have commitment issues with her.
Since she has moved on, so should do.
Good luck
2007-02-07 14:05:09 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If something is telling you for whatever reason to not get married, then listen to it and don't. You may to want to marry her to help, but marriage is a life long commitment and it is to be taken seriously.
As far as her accepting another proposal- whether true or not, it's clear to her that she doesn't want you.
2007-02-07 13:50:02 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Humble Proclaimer♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you 2 ain't meant together. let her go and you'll find someone else. a marriage takes every single maturity of situations to happen and this is clearly not the case. don't over think it's really your problem....sometimes, it's the situation like long distance relationship, uncertainty with life and others that makes the decision for you...instead of you!
2007-02-07 13:59:08 · answer #6 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I wouldn't stick around with a guy who tells me he loves me & wants to marry me and then keeps calling off the wedding. Too many red flags in this story.
2007-02-07 13:50:38 · answer #7 · answered by retropink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
women can only take so much heart ache.. probably you keep changing your mind made her think that there was something wrong with her.... so she probably couldn't take it anymore.
it sounds like you have commitment issues... It sounds like you really love her.. but marriage is a serious issue.. you can't play games like that.. especially with a womans heart.
2007-02-07 13:49:02 · answer #8 · answered by Mommy2Two!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you wasn't ready for a commitment and probally got cold feet scared of responsabilties
2007-02-11 12:02:47 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH YOU. YOU HAVE ISSUES.
2007-02-07 18:04:48 · answer #10 · answered by sweetbabykitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋